The Perfect Intern

Chapter 24.

Dante

I searched her eyes for even the smallest hint of disgust, fear, or even pity, but I saw none.

I only saw..love.

How could she love me?

Even after knowing what I am.

She is now the only person to know of my disorder.

I felt comfortable telling her. No one else had ever gotten this close to me.

It had only been two years since I learned of the devil that lurked inside me, whispering it's wishes as they played out against mine.

"I know what it is, Dante," She told me. "And it's okay."

Her warm breath touched my lips, reminding me that I was fucking freezing.

Her words were comforting, but I ignored them.

I knew if she knew the true depths of it she wouldn't think the same.

She'd see the monster that I really am.
She must've thought I hadn't noticed the slight departure of her face from mine or how her body tensed in my hold and her lips parted.

Anyone else would have missed the small motions, but my senses were always heightened with her.

"But.. for my case in particular.. it is increased recklessness and paranoia," I continued, waiting for her to back away from the lunatic sitting in front of her.

And she did.

Her hands slowly went down to my arms, sliding down from my shoulders. She gently removed them from around her and stood up. I didn't even hesitate to stop her, I had no right to.

Now you're going to lose another woman in your life.

It seemed the Devil wasn't quite done yet.

"Don't they give you pills to keep you from.." She paused, being careful of her choice of words as she looked down at me. "Going under?"

Fuck those pills.

"With SEO I don't have time to keep track of them or when I'm supposed take them," I told her, my voice monotone.

A good sign.

She nodded and then quickly turned around, walking in the opposite direction.

"You want to leave me," I stated, focusing on the veins in my palm of my hands. After I had waited years to find her, having Maria sate the missing piece of my heart temporarily. Now she was right in front of me and I was letting her leave.

Maybe it was my disorder making my feelings for her grow at an alarming rate.

I needed her like I needed to breathe.

And now I would suffocate.

I wished I could make her stay, even if only for a little while longer. Hold her close to me and savor her warmth, her scent, her everything. But I understood why she wanted to run.

I wanted to pull her back to me, keep her so she could never leave.

But she wasn't mine to keep.

She wanted to leave me..

You're going to let her?

Weak.

A dark wave of emotion washed over me. First love, anger, then sadness.

I'd never changed from a high to a low so quickly. It usually took hours, days, weeks. But my chest couldn't help but ache at the thought of her.. leaving me alone.