My Missing Puzzle Piece

Chapter Twelve

Arielle-

Here I was, standing outside of Justin's front door, waiting for the right moment to knock on the door. He invited me over after school and the thought of being alone with him scared me.

I basically told him everything that happened that night. My dad hurting me so much, my mom trying to stop it..I didn't mention the cuts I most recently had. I sighed and lifted up my sleeve to see the cut I had done that night. When I touched it, it stung and I winced. I rolled it back down and I didn't wanna waste any more time, so I carefully knocked on the door. A few seconds later, I was thankful when Justin opened the door, like he was waiting for this moment.

"Hey, Ari." He said and gave me his signature smile. "Come in?"

I nodded and smiled back at him. I was going to try and forget all about the drama and hopefully feel better, if possible. When I'm with him..I feel like a better person and I liked it, but I was scared. I was too afraid to commit to anything and it's not just because I don't want my heart broken..it's because I've been let down so many times and I didn't like it. The pain and grief afterwards..it just sucks.

He noticed my face looked concerned and I felt his hand touch mine and instantly, I felt something. It was the usual feeling when he touched me and..I sorta liked it.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said, with a smile. "Just tired, I guess."

He seemed to believe that. "Me too. Did you wanna go up to my room?"

I nodded my head and we walked upstairs. This time, I wasn't worried about him touching me in certain places; hopefully he knew not to do that. He sat on his bed and motioned for me to sit next to him.

"So are you going to sing me that song you were writing?" He asked as he shook his hair to the place he liked it. To be honest, whatever he just did, made him look even hotter, if possible.

"Oh.." I said as I pursed my lips. "Maybe."

"Maybe as in yes or maybe as in no? I'm hoping it's the first one."

I sighed and pulled out the piece of paper out of my jeans pocket. "Fine, but it's not even done and you have to promise not to make fun of it or my terrible singing."

He laughed and shook his hair again. "I promise, okay?" He smiled at me, waiting, so I unfolded the paper and looked down at the lyrics, bringing back the memories.

And I felt myself start to sing.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

And then I stopped, I couldn't sing anymore. My voice got more and more dry by the second and I felt the tears pour down and the lump in my throat and before I knew it, I was bawling.