My Missing Puzzle Piece

Chapter Thirty-Two

Justin-

"Man, honestly, you deserve better." Here I was, at the skate park with Ryan because he could tell something was up. I guess I haven't been myself in the past week and he was...well, concerned. I didn't think anyone noticed, or cared for that matter.

"I deserve better? How is that?"

"Well, if I'm being honest with you, you two don't really mash together, you get me?"

I shook my head no. Sometimes he didn't make any sense. Maybe he was trying to tell me that we are totally opposite, but even I knew that from the beginning. Who cares if we both are totally different, that's what makes the relationship work. "Are you trying to tell me it's because we're both different from each other?"

He nodded and flipped his hair. "Yeah man, like I don't think you two would ever work out again. I know you two are on break, but does she even make you happy?"

I sighed and thought about this. Does she make me happy? Sometimes. Only when she's really in a good mood and makes me feel like I'm doing things right. I had to constantly always make her feel special somehow, so she wouldn't get depressed and hate me forever. "Only sometimes." I replied with a shrug. "I don't know, I just couldn't handle her things."

"Yeah, that's why you two wouldn't of worked out anyways. She put too much stress on you. You used to be really different, and I'm not bashing on you. I know you were a rebel and getting all the ladies, but man, you were so much more relaxed and cool and loving life. Now you're just...here, in the background, fading away slowly. Get me?"

I sighed hard and nodded. I did get what he was saying. I wasn't myself. I constantly put all of my emotions and work into her and not myself. In a healthy relationship, you shouldn't really do that. "I know, I just let it go on for too long."

"Yeah. I've heard this so many times, but it's true. If you love someone, set them free. But if they are meant to be, they'll come back. Things might change for the better. It can take weeks, months, whatever, but you need to focus on keeping you happy and sane, not about her."

"Damn." I muttered silently. "Where did you get these wise words from?"

He laughed. "I don't know, I might of got them from Nicole. I don't wanna compare my relationship to yours, but right now, she's spending time with friends and so am I. We give each other space because in the end, it's worth it. You were constantly being with her and focusing on her when really, you two needed some distance. You guys are doing that now, so who knows."

"Yeah, I was trying to make her happy all the time and not even thinking of myself. I don't know why I did. I guess I kinda thought if I took my eyes off her for a second, she's commit to kill herself and it worried me sick. I wanted her happy all the time and in the end, I realized, I can't do that for her. I can't make her okay again. SHE had to do it. She had to be the one to push herself and be okay again, I had nothing to do with it."

"Dude, you put it all on yourself. You're not the reason she's depressed. She has to help herself and if she is now, good. But don't go back to her if you think you can't handle it."

"I just need some time to be alone and think. Doesn't mean I'm gonna sleep around with other girls."

"Yeah you need a break from all of it."

As I was about to reply, I heard a cough from behind us. I automatically turned around, my eyes meeting a pair of brown ones. Her hair was straight dark brown, her fair skin blasted in the sun light and her long legs in her jean shorts...I tried my best not to stare at that part.