Beyond Our Lies

f o u r t e e n

We went to none other than the Sunshine Diner. Our town was extremely small so there weren't many other good diners. The only ones left were either abandoned and unwelcoming. Plus, I've only had it once this week so they thought it was perfect.

When we walked in I noticed it was pretty vacant, the complete opposite of the usual at lunch. Only a few business men sat at a table near the back and a few random customers were at the counter. The boys made me go in front of them because "i'd end up running away or some shit." I don't know where they think i'd go, I still feel like absolutely terrible and don't have my baby- my car.

We went toward their usual booth and sat down. The booths were pretty big so Alex, Oliver, and I sat on one side with Xander and Elijah on the other. Xander made me sit on the end incase I felt sick, periodically glancing at my expression to get assurance that I was okay.

They all chatted and laughed as I zoned out, staring at the menu. Just taking a look at all the food items made my stomach growl and it made me feel angry at myself. I shouldn't be hungry, my mother won't be proud of a daughter who eats constantly. I aggressively slapped the menu onto the table, startling everyone and they stared at me with widened eyes, oops. "I'm not eating. I'm not hungry," I declared and crossed my arms over my chest.

"No, you're going to eat. Otherwise you're going to keep throwing up like earlier and end up passing out." Xander also leaned back and folded his arms like it was a competition.

"At least I won't be hungry if I'm passed out," I mumbled so only I could hear. "I'm not eating. I'll eat when I get home," saying a little bit louder for everyone to hear. The lie slipped off my tongue so effortlessly.

"Not happening. Sorry June, but I don't trust those bullshit lies coming out of your mouth right now. You're eating," Xander's voice was laced with determination. If it was any other moment I would have found it hot but right now I hated him for speaking that way to me.

"What are you, my fucking dad? You don't have any type of authority to tell me what to eat. I don't want to eat so why can't you understand that?" I snapped and slid out of the booth, going towards the bathroom. I went in and locked the door.

I know I'm being a bitch to him for simply caring but why can't he just understand? Everytime I eat something I want to go on a hunger strike the rest of the day. Once I have a body like Cas or Roxi's then I can eat like I used to, but not right now.

Someone began knocking on the door. "Juniper are you okay?" I could hear Elijah's muffled voice from behind the door.

I sighed, rubbing my hand down my face. "Go away, please. I mean that in the nicest way possible."

"I'm not leaving, just talk to me. You don't have to say shit to Xander just talk to me." I opened the door and peeked out, seeing Elijah smiling. I forced a small smile back and opened the door enough for me to walk out. When I did, we sat down at the tables closest to us, still not past the corner so the rest of the group couldn't see us.

"Why don't you want to eat Juniper?" He cut straight to the point. I shrugged, "M'just not hungry."

He laughed, "Yeah cause that's why your stomach was growling the whole time you were looking at that menu." Elijah said and watched my expression, waiting for me to make up another lame ass excuse.

My face heated in embarrassment and I pointed my gaze to anywhere but him. "I just don't feel like eating right now. I've been super stressed out with school and eating just makes me feel nauseous, that's all."

"Look. That might have some truth in it but I need you to listen to me. I know what it's like to not want to eat. You don't want to keep having to look at the same figure in the mirror so you cut your diet to become thinner. But what you don't realize is it doesn't fix anything. Your ideal weight will just keep going lower and lower on the scale. I see my old habits becoming your daily ones. I don't want you to go through that same route. Not even just that. I've gone through shit and I know how it feels to have it seem like nobody wants you here. So promise me Juniper, talk to me if that happens and I'll help you." Elijah never once seemed hesitant while going on. His honesty left me speechless. I would have never in a million years thought someone like him would ever go through that. I was also extremely proud of him he was able to overcome and discuss it.