Beyond Our Lies

t h i r t y t h r e e

Awaking from my slumber, I wanted to do everything in my power to get back to that peaceful unconscious state. Because now, the birds were chirping into a microphone, the sun was directly in the room, the bed was a pit of fire, and my headache was lethal.

Groaning at the inability to fall back asleep, I attempted to sit up but was withheld. The restriction made me immediately freak out and I swung my hands behind me in a chaotic fashion. "Ow! What the fuck?" The familiar but huskier voice made me whip my head around, realizing I had whacked the now awake Xander in the face.

"Shit, I'm so sorry!" I twisted my now free body to face him and had concern written in my expression.

Xander mumbled a few foul words as he sat up similar to my position. He dragged a hand through his bed head hair, it making him look playful and innocent in a way. However, his bare chest made the complete opposite impression. The ink covered body made me mesmerized as I took in each and every intricate design.

Snapping brought me out of my daze. "You got a little-" He brought his thumb to the near side of his bottom lip and did a wiping motion. My eyes doubled in size along with my cheeks flaring. My hand rushed towards my lip and I wiped, feeling no drool.

His throaty laughter filled the room causing me to act like a child, crossing my arms and pouting. Xander rolled his eyes at my childish antics. He leaned over to me and gave me a small forehead kiss before standing up. When he stood, I noticed he held one hand to his head and the other stayed on the nightstand. Last night flashed through my mind and dread overwhelmed me about why he had gotten that fucked up. It was crystal clear it wasn't a normal black out drunk. No, this was different.

I stood up as fast as I could without causing my personal headache to hinder me more and clasped my petite hand around his wrist. Dragging him towards the bathroom, I then pushed him lightly downwards. He groaned in annoyance but still complied and sat on the closed toilet lid.

I dug throughout the cabinets and muttered profanities, not finding anything that would help him. When I had found some Tylenol, I gave him the intended amount and watched him to make sure he takes them all with his glass of water.

Xander set the cup down and stood up, towering over my average body height. "You don't need to baby me, I got it."

"I know. I just want to make sure you're okay and everything." My broken and timid voice surrounded us. Hating the way I was acting so vulnerable right now, I stared at my fingers as I played with them, focusing solely on them.

He took my chin and lifted it up, making me view his intense gaze. Xander sighed and dragged his hand down his face. "I don't remember what happened but it was just a bad night to begin with. It won't happen again."

As I returned his stare, I finally understood the saying. "A person's mouth can lie, but their eyes will always tell the truth." Xander wasn't confident in the slightest about what he had just spoken, his usual façade being overrun by doubt.

I gave him a easily visible fake smile, too fearful of the future to mask my true thoughts. He didn't offer his pinky and neither did I. We both knew he was lying, but we were both to afraid to speak up on it. I'll just have to be there for him when things get rough.

Bringing my hand up, I pushed a few strands out of his eyes. "Okay," I nodded. "Not get out so I can not look like a gargoyle anymore," I spoke, trying to bring the mood back up.

"You look more like a raccoon but you're still cute," he shouted as I pushed him out of the bathroom and shut the door, causing his voice to become muffled. I let out a loud laugh and fixed myself up, indeed looking like a raccoon from my smeared eyeliner and mascara. After I finished, I left the room to find the boys and hung out with them for a few hours.