𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑚. |𝐹𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑒

The least awkward day of the trip (34)

⚠️the sensitive topic of self-harm and suicidal thoughts!⚠️
Millie didn't sleep last night. Too traumatised to do so. She just wanted to go home since she wasn't having too much fun. She wanted to forget all about Jacob. Millie was the first up as she hadn't slept at all, it was only five in the morning. It was bathroom light woke Finn up, he glanced over to see Millie. She hadn't closed the door as she was just staring into the mirror. He was a bit scared to approach but stood up anyway and hugged Millie from behind.
"Go back to sleep, it's early Finn." She laughed as sleepy Finn clung onto her back. "You're practically sleeping on me!"
"I'm not going back to bed if you don't come back with me." He yawned.
"Well, I'm going to be here for a while." She sighed.
"So am I." He said stubbornly. "Are you gonna tell me why your up then?" He said but Millie was stayed silent and walked off. Finn grabbed her by the wrist and she winced, winced in pain. He pulled her closer then looked at her wrists. It was slit. "Why?"
"You wouldn't understand. It's been a bit hard for me recently. My emotions from last year, they've come back and I have nightmares. The time that Jacob...and now it's ruined me. The cutting makes everything go away for a second, then you're finally happy—" Finn took her by the shoulders.
"It doesn't make you happy. Even if it does, it's for a few seconds, it doesn't last forever. I've done before. You may have not noticed my cuts since all the times I've been shirtless it's been in the dark, but I have cuts all on my thighs and shoulders. When we would all change in the locker room I would get bullied a lot. I've tried to commit six times but my mum or brother would catch me. I was close to slitting my throat in the bath, but I didn't. It's not gonna make you any better, it's going to make you worse and break you down. Stop while you can or it'll turn into a daily thing." He said. "We're gonna find plaster and put it on if anyone asks what happened you say it was an accident, cause that's all it was." Finn let Millie go and finally laid down again. Millie did so too, right by his side.

They all woke up at an appropriate time after, nine-thirty. Millie had made eggs and toast for everyone but Sadie had yoghurt with fruits and a slice of multi-grain bread with avocado since she was vegan. She called everyone down and Sadie made her own food as everyone sat down and ate.
"So, what are we doing today? I was hoping we could go to the  beach, I saw it on the way here." Jack suggested.
"Depends. Did everyone bring their swimsuits?" Jacob asked everyone. Most of them responded with a yeah and nod, not all of them though. "There's a little shop by the beach where you can buy swimming suits if you don't have one."
"Okay, what time should we go?" Grace said.
"All agree on two? Then we can go get lunch someplace." They all agreed with Jeremy. After breakfast, they went into the lounge. They were all doing their own thing when Chosen brought up the topic of Jacobs..face. He hadn't told anybody what happened between him and Finn and so no one brought up the subject up in till now. Keep in mind, Jacobs face was still swollen.
"Okay, we can't keep it in any longer, Jacob what happened to your face?" Everyone went silent and turned their heads towards Chosen and Jacob. He stammered a bit before someone cut him off
"W-we- I—"
"We ran into an alley and he got beat up—"
"No we didn't— You and Jacob had a fight, your knuckles are still red." Jack stopped right after and facepalmed. Jack can never keep secrets. Everyone was still shocked.
"W-why did you beat him up?" Grace asked. "Did do something to deserve it?"
"Yeah, why'd you beat him up, Finn?" That's when everyone kept questioning the same thing 'why'd you beat him up?' Over and over again. The only people who were staying quiet was Jack, until Millie spoke up.
"Guys! It's almost two, we should be getting ready." It went quiet and they all silently walked off. Grace gave dirty stares. After everyone had left, Millie and Finn went up alone. They didn't talk they just went upstairs.

It only took a few minutes for them to get ready because they were just getting dressed. Instead of taking an Uber-like last time, they walked to the beach just to make sure Finn and Jacob wouldn't fight again. Finn and Millie trailed at the back, talking and laughing about cute stupid stuff. Their relationship was complicated, they liked each other a lot and wanted to be together but they also wanted to start off as friends again. When they got to the beach they a cliff not too far away. Everyone stripped down to their bathing suits and jumped into the warm water. It was mostly just splashing around and having fun as toddlers would. Finn though, he wasn't swimming, he wasn't in sight at all. Millie hadn't gone swimming yet, she was still in her blue bikini, waiting for Finn and when she saw he wasn't close by she thought where he might be since she wanted him to have fun too. Millie eventually found Finn, he was sitting at the edge of the cliff. She slowly walked up behind.
"A-are you crying?" Millie asked. She poked her head in front of Finn's face and he smiled. His eyes were watery. "Why don't you come and join us in the water? If you don't have a swimsuit I'll help you choose."
"No, it's not that." He nervously laughed. "You go have fun, I'll be sitting here."
"If you get to nag me in the morning I get to nag you now."
"What the fuck is nag?"
"You haven't heard of the British term?! It means to...annoy, invading of personal space. Something like that." She laughed and Finn did so too.
"I-it's my scars. They're fading, but they're still visible. They make me look like a freak. Each and every one of them is a reminder I'm, worthless, a mistake."
"Can I see them?" He didn't know why he was close to letting Millie see. Nobody really knew about his cuts except for Millie from telling her in the morning. "I have a cut." She smiled. Finally, Finn took off his top. There were many, some deeper than others, some bigger than others some smaller than others. How could so many be on only one separate shoulder? "I think they're beautiful. Each and every scar...means something. Each and every scar says you're a fighter, you're strong. You may not think that but your still here to this day, fighting." They both were staring into each other's eyes. Which soon began to close as Finn slowly began to lean in, into a possible kiss. Millie stopped herself from kissing him and pulled him into a hug. They awkwardly laughed, before Finn stood up.
"Wanna come down with me?" He said looking straight down into the blue sea.
"What if there are trolleys down there?" She stood up looking down with him. "What if we land on a shark? What if we land on someone? What if there's glass underneath and we get cut by it!"
"Like that's gonna happen! Life is never fun without risks!"
"Well, I rather—" but before she could finish, Finn grabbed her by the waist and jumped down with her.
Everyone clapped around them when they swam back up to the surface.
"That looks fun, when can I do it?" Jack said.
"Fun if you wanna die!" Sadie cut off. They all swam into a little group and spoke for a while. Since Millie knew Finn was okay, she decided to go and chat with Grace and Sadie since Sophia was chatting with the rest of the boys.
"Man it's so awkward! I just don't understand how Sophia is comfortable with the boys! Boys are gross and smell weird!" Grace started.
"I know right, have you smelt Jacks room with the other boys?! It smells like someone died in there." Sadie laughed.
"Then why are you dating them? You have Caleb and you have Jacob."
"They still have the weird things they do," Sadie replied. "Doesn't Finn act like that? I mean how bad is your room?!" She laughed.
"It still looks fine! But that's only because of me. I mean, we're not even a day in!" Millie said. "How's it like with Jacob, Grace? All alone in the biggest room!" Grace took some time before answering.
"He's very...Needy. He always has been ever since we met. Like not ten minutes into our date and he wants to go home with me." That's when things took a dark turn. "He's always asking for my phone and he's starting to tell me what to wear more often. We argue a lot but then he finishes off with this, babe I'm sorry! He tells me to be more pretty and tells me who I can't hang out with. I literally have to beg him to see you guys. He's overprotective so much so, he convinced me to move in with him. It's scary but at the end of the day I love him so much and I understand he's just trying to protect me." That wasn't normal to hear.
"He doesn't hit you...right?" Sadie said concerned. Little did they know Jacob was listening to the whole time to their conversation as soon as his name was mentioned.
"Ladies!" He swam from behind. "Grace, let's go back early. Have a little us time since we won't be able to go on dates for a bit."
"Jacob I'm talking to—"
"We're going, Grace." Before she left, she smiled a bit and swam back to shore. They watched as Jacob grabbed Grace by the wrist and called an Uber, shoving her into it.
"That's not normal right?" Millie said awkwardly.
"It's so weird. Grace was the one protecting us but now it's reversed. She doesn't even see how wrong of a relationship she's in."
"Oh, she knows. Jacobs manipulating her."

Eventually, they all left the beach and went to Shake Shack. On the way there, Millie spoke with Finn after leaving Sadie with Sophia.
"How was the beach?" Millie smiled.
"I'm glad you forced me to come in the water," he laughed. "Was it fun for you?"
"Yeah, it was! I was talking to Sadie and Grace. Grace told us about her relationship with Jacob. He's verbally abusing her maybe even physically. He's also manipulating her. Should we tell Grace the full story of Jacob?"
"If she's being manipulated, I don't think she'll believe us. We'll gather as much evidence as possible and expose him to everyone at the end of the week. Whatever happens next, happens."
"So you're just...winging it?" She laughed.
"Guess I am." He smirked.
"When's the next time your meeting Mr Heaton?" Millie asked.
"Uuh, August eighteen? Then we'll keep meeting each other and see if I want to be adopted by him. A fresh new start."
"What you gonna do after?"
"I'm going to France. Hoping to find my mum. I'll probably move there after." He gulped nervously.
"Oh." She sighed. "You'll come back and visit right?"
"As often as I can! I can't forget about you guys." He laughed lightly.
"And maybe one day you'll meet my parents?"
"I thought we aren't dating?"
"So? You never know where we'll end up in the future!"
"Okay then. When I finally get adopted, I'll meet your parents in Arizona."
"But first, I need to speak to them. I'm going to tell them everything. I haven't spoken to them in a while."
Soon, they reached shake shack and like always, Sadie had her vegan lunched prepared before. They all took their orders and sat together at one huge table, they talked to different people and laughed frequently. They left before they were kicked out for being too loud and disturbing the restaurant but they still had a good time. For some though, that would all be forgotten soon.

Soooooo. I am really slow with update. Writers block is a BEETCH. Hope you're all doing fine in quarantine and stay at homeeee. More and more as the chapters go on you'll get intrigued. I think. I really should've pre-written this book then published all the chapters. O well. Hope you enjoyed, Until then!

Word count: 2124