Chapter 94: Doubt

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Erik sent me a letter saying that he would like to visit my home. He came three days after I wrote a letter that he could come over.

I wore a light empire waist lavender dress with a low square neckline, long airy peasant sleeves, and a thin white lace design over the top to avoid the summer heat. My mother's Maid Stella helped braid my hair and tied it with a white ribbon and tied a white lace choker with a light blue jewel in the center.

I had been wearing my casual clothes and uniform for so long that I had almost forgotten all about dressing up and being a woman.

I am so sloppy that it hurts when I am reminded by my Mother or my retainers that I am not putting enough effort in taking care of my own looks.

"You are more beautiful than usual," Erik said as he greeted me with a smile and a single red rose.

"Thank you for the flower," I said as I accepted it.

Erik and I soon shared lunch alone together.

"Doesn't memories like this take you back to when we would eat together in our teenage years?" Erik asked.

"...We are teenagers now," I said.

"Haha...That is right. We are teenagers again. It feels a bit strange returning as a teenager. It was only until just recently that I had regained my memories of our past lives, so I am not used to having two sets of memories, but things must be more difficult for you since you only have memories of your past life," Erik said.

If you remember everything, I could support you if you just tell me more about my missing memories.

He cleverly avoids answering any questions about my memories. It is almost as if Erik does not want me to remember.

"It is difficult," I said sharply.

"You will recover your memories eventually, so there is no need to rush in trying to remember everything," Erik said.

"...Right."

"Arielle, I think that we should announce our engagement," Erik said with a bright smile.

"Pardon?"

Erik stood up and walked over to me.

"As per your request of your other self, I had been holding off announcing our engagement to the public," Erik said.

Why would my other self suggest such a thing?

Was she having doubts about her engagement with Erik?

It is true that I am having doubts right now...and it is not just because I am lacking my memories.

"Erik, I..."

"I think it is high time that we announce you becoming my Crown Princess," Erik said as he got up from his seat and walked over to my side. He lifted my chin up towards him and leaned closer to my face. "You still love me, right?"

"...I do," I answered.

"If two people love each other, the next step would be to get married," Erik said before kissing me.

Maybe my thoughts were too occupied for me to enjoy Erik's kiss.

I could not think of another reason as to why I could not feel anything from his kiss...

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