Bernice

23

November 28
Bernice,

I walked to the mailbox. I grabbed the mail and headed back into the house. When I put the mail on the counter, I saw that I have two big envelopes from the colleges that I applied to. I took them to my room and decided to open them. I got accepted to a school in Maryland and one in New York.

I just have to choose which school I want to go to. I need to research the area to make a decision that won't be just based on the school. The hardest part is how am I going to tell August I'm leaving? We were going to really try this time and this will just put a stop to it. What am I going to do with my kids?

My phone started ringing which broke me out of my thoughts. I picked up the call. "Hello." I said. "Hey. Where are you?" August asked. "At home. Why?" I asked. "What do you mean you're at home? You're supposed to be here at my place like an hour and thirty minutes ago." August informed me.

"I forgot I said I'll come over. I got caught up with something. I'll be there soon." I told him. "Ok." He said and ended the call. I put everything back into the envelopes and I put them in my closet. I don't want anyone to know about it for now. I quickly changed since I already took a shower.

It didn't take me long to get to August's. I rang the doorbell. I didn't want to use the spare key because it's for emergencies or when August allows me to use it. He opened the door and let me in. He turned around and walked away without saying a word to me. I locked the door.

He must be mad that I forgot. He had that look. I went to the living room and saw the kids. They hugged me. "What did y'all eat for breakfast?" I asked. "Daddy made us scrambled eggs." Aaron answered. I had to teach August how to make some more food other than the spaghetti I taught him how to make last time.

"Egs." Ashley tried to repeat Aaron. I liked how she is always trying to repeat what Aaron says. I can't wait for her to be able to pronounce better. I let them continue watching their show. I am thinking of putting Aaron in preschool next year.

I walked into the kitchen where August is sitting at the table on his phone. I decided to ask where Lonte was but he said nothing. I sat across from him and took his phone away from him. "You're the one who wanted me here so bad and now you're not talking to me." I stated. He sighed.

"We need to tell each other the truth." He said. I shifted in my seat. "I've tried every attempt to get us a step closer to where I want us to be but you've shut it down. Like how you showed up late today. How do you really feel?" He asked. August has been trying a lot. It's just that I have been busy with work and I've been shutting him down intentionally sometimes.

"I love you August. I really do. I'm sorry for shutting you down. I was doing it sometimes intentionally because I am scared about what will happen if we tried again." I told him. This is the second time we're trying again since I got back from Wales. I hope this'll be the last.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have made you feel that way. I love you and I won't hurt you anymore. Can we promise to tell each other the truth no matter how much it hurts?" He referred to the last time we tried.  The truth. I'm hiding the most important thing from him. I don't want to tell him about it now. "I promise." I said.

We took the kids out for ice cream and then we went to the park. I pushed Ashley on the swing while August and Aaron kicked around a ball. I could tell Aaron wasn't loving it. I took Ashley out of the swing and we went over to the guys.

"August." I said to get his attention. "Yeah?" He said. "Let Aaron play at the playground. He's definitely not enjoying soccer." I told him. August picked up the ball. "Aaron, do you want to play on the playground?" August asked. "Yes!" Aaron immediately ran to the playground.

August came by me. "Soccer isn't the sport for him." He noticed. "For now no, but who knows? Maybe he will later on." I said. August is much more strict on the kids than I am. He shouldn't try to force Aaron to enjoy what he doesn't like. August went to put the ball in the car then he came back.

Ashley reached for him and he took her. She started sleeping so August went to the car to let her sleep while I watched Aaron go down the swing. When it started raining, we left the park. We didn't want to get drenched in water.

We got to August's place and I took them a shower. I got them into some comfortable clothes. "Mommy, ungry." Ashley has trouble saying her h's. "Ok. I'll make you something to eat." I said. I went to the kitchen and looked in the cupboards. They were noodles, spaghetti stuff, and Mac and cheese. I decided to make them Mac and cheese with some broccoli.

I'll just eat the broccoli. I don't like Mac and cheese. "What are you cooking?" August asked. "Mac and cheese with broccoli." I said while stirring the broccoli. He grabbed some orange juice from the fridge and went to give it to the kids. "I need your help." August said. "What's up?" I turned around. "The kids eat Congolese dishes when they are with you and I make the dishes you taught me but they don't like some of them. I was wondering if you could help me like you did before but with Congolese dishes this time." He mentioned.

"I can do that." I said. My phone started ringing. August picked it up and handed it to me. I declined the call. "Who was that?" August asked. "Lucinda." I mentioned. "How'd she get your number?" He wondered. "Violet's been talking to her. Apparently, she wants to see me." I said.

"I think you should." August opinionated. I didn't expect him to say that. He should be on my side. "I'm not going to." I said. I put the stove off for the Mac and cheese since it's ready. "You would've blocked her if you had your mind completely made up." August said. He's right. I'm still not sure about what I should do. "Go and see her one time. You don't even have to have a relationship with her." August mentioned.

Maybe I should. I do want my questions answered.  I don't want to go alone if I do end up going. "Fine, I'll go but you need to come with me." I said. I got two plates and put food on them. "Are you sure you need me there?" August asked. My mom never liked August. Bringing August would tip her off but I need him. "Yes." I said.

"Ok. I'll go with you if you will be my lady and I'll be your man." He said.  "Yes." I turned around and smiled. He came up to me and kissed me.  "I missed this." He said. "I did too." We're finally where we are supposed to be.

I called Lucinda, while August gave the kids the food. We set up a day to meet next month. She seemed happy about it while I was uneasy about it. I looked at the time and it's four oh seven. I have to be at the airport with Trina by five thirty to pick up Seraphine. She's coming from Maryland. She arrives at five forty two.

I texted Trina that I'm on the way to get her. I told August that I have to go and I said bye to the kids. I work in the morning tomorrow and they seem to like August's place better so they're spending one more night with him. I need them to bond more.

When I got home I texted Trina that I'm here. I didn't feel like I needed to go inside so she'll come and meet me. She came out quickly. "Hey. How'd your day go with August and the kids?" She asked. "It went great. We're back together." I told her. I didn't want to overshare.

I played music on the way there. It took us about thirty five minutes to get there. It's in Atlanta. Trina called Saraphine and told her we were here. She came outside and met us. "Hey Trina and Bernice." Saraphine said. "Hi. How was your flight?" I asked. "I'm exhausted." She said. Trina hugged her and I put her luggages into the car. Saraphine doesn't know how long she's staying. She got fired from her job and only bought a one way ticket here.