Bernice

27

January 10
Bernice,

I pulled up to Kaylee's house. She wants the kids for the whole weekend. She offered to pick them up but I said I'll drop them because I don't want her dealing with traffic especially when she's pregnant. My kids aren't quiet on a long ride. They can get grumpy which can add more stress to her.

"Hey. Let me take her." Lonte took a sleeping Ashley from my arms. Aaron followed them into the house while I went and got their car seats and bags from the car. It took me two trips. "Where's Kaylee?" I asked. Lonte is helping me put my kids things into a room. "She's sleeping." He stated.

"Ok. I should be on my way back now." I told him. "Where are you rushing to?" I turned around and saw Kaylee. "I didn't want to wake you up." I told her. "My love, can you look after Aaron while I show Bernice the baby's room?" Kaylee said. "Yes baby." Lonte said.

I followed her to the room. It was beautiful. The theme is pink. The room has a rocking chair, a crib, a changing station, etc. "I like this. It seems like it'll be cozy for her." I complimented. "I picked out the stuff. Lonte thought that we should add her name on the wall but I think that's too much." She mentioned.

"Y'all seem so happy now." I noticed. Lonte seems to be listening to her and Kaylee's smiling much more. "We are. I just can't wait till this baby comes out." Kaylee smiled. She just seems so tired. She's over it. That's how I felt when it was almost my time.

"What name did you two decide?" I wondered. "Brianna Ivy Johnson. Her middle name is the same as my mothers." She informed me. "That's nice." I smiled. We just admired the room for a bit.

We left the room and went downstairs. Aaron is watching tv while Lonte is on the phone with someone. We went to the kitchen and I sat on a chair. "Do you want anything to drink?" She questioned. "Water." I said. She gave me a bottle of water from the fridge.

"How's August?" She asked. I haven't talked to him for a couple days. All we've done is text. He hasn't had time to see the kids either. "I don't know. He's been busy." I said. She nodded. "I hope he hasn't left again." She spoke.

"Oh no. He didn't. He's just trying to work on quitting what he does." I defended him. "Ok." She said. When I left Kaylee's, I decided to go to August's. I needed to tell him today. I couldn't keep hiding this from him. I am not sure about what I'm going to say but I know he'll be hurt.

I should've called him before I came to make sure he's home. His car isn't even in the driveway. I know if I go back home it'll just delay me even more. I had to do it. I got out of my car and entered his house with the spare key. I opened my phone and called him. He didn't pick up but I tried again. He didn't pick up that one either.

I decided to text him. I told him I'm at his place. I'm hungry but I'm too tired to cook something. I went into the fridge and saw that he made michopo. Michopo is what we call a meat kabab in Congo. The one he made isn't on a stick. I put some on a plate and put it in the microwave. There's no pepper sauce so I used some hot sauce to eat it. It wasn't hot like how Africans make theirs.

I changed into one of my comfortable clothes that I keep here. I checked my phone. He still hasn't texted. I climbed into his bed and fell asleep.

August,

It's eleven o'clock at night. I'm just heading home. I had to work what I owe. I also dealt with some of my rivals. I'm glad I got some stuff done. I'm heading in the right direction and I'm not turning back. When I parked in the driveway, Bernice's car was right next to me.

I opened my phone and saw the message she sent me. She sent that text at six oh five. Bernice isn't the type to come to my place and stay long without knowing when I'm coming back. She must have something to tell me. I opened the door with my key and entered the house.

"Babe." Bernice came down the stairs and hugged me. "Hey." I said. "It seems like you had a long day." She said. "I did. I didn't have a chance to check my phone. I'm sorry I didn't see your text earlier." I told her. "It's ok. I made you food." She told me.

I am expecting her to tell me why she's here. "I'm good." I ate while driving today so I am not hungry. "Ok." She murmured something that I couldn't hear. I looked at her but I didn't want to question her. I went upstairs to my room. I changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt. Bernice came into the room and sat on the bed. She seems tense.

"You good?" I asked. No answer. I sat by her and held her hands. "You know you can tell me anything right?" I asked. She nodded and tears came out of her eyes. I waited for her to tell me. "I need you to remain calm. What I am about to tell you, is something that you won't take lightly." She mentioned.

"Ok. What is it?" I know it isn't cheating. She's not like that. She removed her hands from mine. "I got into some universities but-" "That's great." I cut her off. "Let me finish." She said. She paused for a bit. "None are in state. I've made the decision to move to New York. I'll be attending the state's university." She confessed.

I knew she applied to out of state schools but I didn't actually think she'll move. We've just fixed our relationship and she's ready to leave all that behind. "Babe, say something." She urged. "Don't go." I said. She stood up. "I'm going." She said. "You want to throw all that we've been through." I said.

"I am not." She rebutted. I walked out of the room. I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. "I am an LPN and I don't make enough to keep for my children's future. I need to. All I want to go to school is for IT. Nothing else. That's why I'm not letting anything stop me from doing what I'm doing." I told him.

She knows I have enough money for our children's future. She doesn't want it all on me. She likes to be independent. "Then, go since you want to be all independent and shit. Just know this, you moving out of state means we are over since you want to leave me. Did you even think about the kids?" I asked.

"This is why I didn't tell you earlier. You're taking this out of context." She pointed out. "If you ain't leaving me then I'm leaving you. I don't do long distance relationships." I told her. The choice is hers. "What? I'm not leaving you and you're not leaving me. You can't." She determined.

I went to the living room and sat down. I turned on the tv to distract me. Bernice came and turned it off. "I love you. We can work this out. We'll figure something out." She said. "I can't." I don't want to cheat on her. I am prone to doing that and it will hurt her.

"You can't or you just don't want to?" She spoke. "I can't." I repeated. "You're selfish." She rebuked. I haven't heard her insult me in a while. "What are you? You want to leave me and the kids here while you go follow your stupid dream." I blasted.

She went upstairs and came back down. She headed towards the door. I went to stop her. It's past midnight and I have morals. "You can't leave. It's too late for that. Stay the night and leave later." I told her. She reached for the knob but I blocked it. "Please." I begged. "Fine." She said.