Heavy Breathing

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Billies POV

Sapphire knew where we were going as soon as I took off out of the car park. She looked really tired… and sad. The Sex Pistols were playing softly in the background but neither of us turned it up as we usually would. The strange and unfamiliar sense of awkwardness was obvious in the air as we drove in silence. Not screaming song lyrics, not calling each other profanities, not trying to tickle each other even though it was extremely unsafe. It was foreign to have this quietness when we were together so I was half glad when we finally arrived at the hangout.

Sapphire let out a sigh before exiting the car and I follow. She walks forward down the hill, wrapping her arms around my t-shirt on her. I have to admit, it looked good on her. She quickly paces on and takes a seat on one of the couches, still holding her small frame.

“We’re not staying here, come on” I walk past her over to the railing near the lake.

“Where’re we going?” I hear her follow behind.

“I don’t know. Let’s go exploring, discovering new places.” I hop over the rusted rail and turn to face her. She looks straight into my eyes, as if she’s searching for a reason behind what I was doing. I didn’t even know what I was doing.

“Okay” She mumbles before walking towards me.

“Let me help you over” I say holding out my arms. She sends me a small smile before stepping up on the lower bar, her hands balanced on my shoulders. I grab her waist and lift her over the top, carefully setting her down.

“Thanks” She breaths, turning away from me. She starts to walk down the lake, leaving me standing alone.

“Can you stop this please?” I say. She stops dead in her tracks and quickly turns around.

“Stop what?” She asks, blank faced.

“Acting like you hate me!” I raise my voice. She takes a few steps back.

“I- I don’t hate you Billie” She stumbles over her words.

“Well why are you so distant? So cold?” I pace towards her, staring directly into her nervous eyes. She looks down as I move my body right in front of hers. It wasn’t until I hear soft whimpers that I realise she’s crying.

“Saph?” I whisper, the guilt hitting me like a brick wall. When I get confused or annoyed, it often is portrayed with anger which isn’t the best way to react. Her hands fly up to her face as she wipes away her tears, still looking down.

“Sapphire please” I almost beg resting my head against hers and holding onto her shoulders.

“I’m scared Billie” She quietly says. Almost so quiet that I barley hear her. I wrap my hands around her and pull her into my chest. Her sobs grow louder now and a lump in my throat starts to grow. She clutches onto the back of my shirt as I feel the wetness grow on my front. I don’t care though.

“I’m not gonna let them get you again” I whisper, burying my face in her hair. “I promise”

I don’t know how long we stood there. I guess we needed the closure towards each other and maybe now we can carry on as we were before it happened. Why didn’t I think that she would be scared? Fuck, I can be selfish sometimes.

“Did you put on deodorant today?” Her muffled voice breaks my thoughts.

“Uhhh” I think back to the morning. “…No”

“Ew!” She pushes off me with a huge grin on her face. “I thought I smelt something” She smirks.

“Well it might have been you, because you didn’t put on deodorant either” I retort. Her hands fly to her face in realisation as she lets out a laugh. I smile back at her.

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