Soul not Included

Chapter 62

I'm having the dream again. The world is dark but there's so much noise around me. It rises and falls. It's a whisper then its shouting. It rings in my head. A never ending buzz of gibberish running around in circles in my head. I willed it stop. I willed me to just wake up from this. But i knew they wouldn't. These voices never stopped. As if they were attacking each others throats and at the end of the day it felt like they were blaming me for something.

 I feel like I'm floating too... floating on a cloud that exists... nowhere. but I felt also shackled. Tied down. Prevented from floating off too far. 

 There's pain this time, that was new. Near my abdomen. It's a sharp pain. As if a knife had been plunged into my gut. I didn't like it. I didn't like this new part of the dream. I didn't like this pain.

 The voices aren't as loud as before. They got quiet... It's a reasonable hum. Like they were listening... did they want me to scream. Am I in pain this time because of them? Can't they just go away?

My left hand twitched. It felt like something touched me. Chills ran down my entire body. Shuddering and scared. Don't touch me. Stop it.

 The world got quieter, the floating ebbing away. Ah, I'm sinking now. Sucked into darkness. Falling.... Endlessly failing. Sinking. Falling. A scream build. I don't like this dream. The voices were enough. Please just wake up.

 A sudden long shrill beeping screamed in my ears. It blew away the floating and the pain and the voices. For a split second it was just the shrill beeping coursing through every inch of my body. 

Then it was going. Like it was fading in a distance. I was getting farther away.  

Then there was crying. I felt a groan building in me. 

Shut up.

It was a very recognizable crying. A wheezing wail. Like the end of the world had come and gone. I hated that cry.

Shut up.

But I couldn't quite put my finger on where I've heard it before. There's normally just voices. Just talking. Just screaming. Just singing. But the crying was a first. And the pain.

Shut up.

Another touch against my brow.

My eyes shot open. My hand shooting up and grabbing at what was hovering over me, "Don't touch me!"

The scream finally came. It felt good to let it out but the eyes I met were Edward's. The thing my hand grabbed was his arm. He was only brushing away sweat from my brow. It took us both a moment. I slowly released his arm. He pulled it back slowly.

Of course I had fallen asleep. I had insisted staying up with him the second night. he wouldn't, couldn't, ask that of me because I was tired. Dead on my feet. But i told him it was fine. We got around to playing twister. I had stuffed my face with more desserts that he made and we watched movies all night until morning. I insisted on going hiking somewhere so I wouldn't lounge in the house. I'd fall asleep otherwise. 

He knew, as well as I, that I couldn't stay awake forever. Not as a human at least but that was something we both wouldn't bring up.

He took me to a small jungle that ringed the rocky little peak.  We didn't linger long because I was tired, exhausted, and barely able to keep up on a normal pace. so we went back to the ocean after. Another swimming lesson. He never let go and the water kept me aware. 

That third night I ate ice cream and had coffee. I thought that if the sugar and caffeine didn't keep me awake the stomach pains would. 

I didn't get sick but I did manage to stay awake the whole night.