It Cant Be You- Charles Leclerc

17

They didnt let me stay with Charles for more than half an hour. He needed to rest and I was not inmediate family so Carlos took us to the hotel so we could rest since we havent slept since the accident.

All the adrenalin didn't allow me to feel the sleep deprived I was until I finally got to the room and felt asleep inmediately.

I woke up  from a sound from the bathroom. I dont know how many hours I've been out of it but I guess not a lot since its still dark outside. I go to the bathroom door and knock.

-Are you alright there?- I ask Carlos. There is no response and I start to worry-  If you dont answer I will come in- still no response so I open the door.

At first I didnt see him until his labored breathing gave him away. He was sat in a corner with his head on his hands and with trouble breathing. I quickly got to his side falling into my knees too.

-Hey, Carlos, look at me, what is wrong?- when I touched his arm he reacted as if it had burned him jumping up.

- Just g..go- he pulled his hair pacing around the room. He was definitely having a panic attack. I dont know what triggered it but I needed him to calm himself or he will get hurt.

- Im not going anywhere until I know you are okay.

-Can you listen to me for once in your life?!- he shouted at me. I took a step back from the shock of it- You always do what you want without caring about the rest, its infurating.- I know he is just saying all this to make me leave but it still hurts to listen to that from someone you love- Just...please I dont want you to see me like this- he pleads.

-What happened to trigger this Carlos? Tell me so I can help you- I still leave a careful distance between us so he doesnt feel trapped- Remember to breathe.

He looked conflicted to tell me and that terrified me.

-Has something happen to Charles?- he opened his eyes in surprise realising what I was thinking.

-No! They didnt call me so everything must be the same- he avoided my glance looking to his feet.- Im just scared, its stupid dont worry.

-Of course I will worry- he shakes his head with a half smile signaling me to go for a hug. I rest my head on his chest and he put his chin on the top of mine.

-You are stuborn arent you?- I nod letting out a little laugh- I'm sorry about that you know I didnt meant it.

- I know...but it still hurts- he let me go and he looked much calmer now.

-I've never been scared of driving you know? The rush it gave me always blinded my fear- I nod knowing what he meant. I used to get that feeling too.- But now...- he rubbed his eyes feeling frustrated- The medic from the team had to give me an anxiolytic for me to even enter the taxi to the hospital after the crash.

-Carlos...You know its normal you just saw your friend crash- I try to reassure him.

-How replaceable they think we are?- he said indignant- How many times something like this has to happen? How many people we have to lose until they get their shit together!

-I know. It's not fair.

-No, it is not. It's so fucking unfair Oli.