INTJ, a deep dive into the architects

ENTP/INTJ experience part 1

It is amazing in every way. I'm an INTJ female and my partner is an ENTP male. We have been dating for four years without any issues. Our relationship is extremely strong. I also have a male ENTP friend who I get along with tremendously well. All of our mutual friends have said our behaviour is very alike.

The following points are solely based on the relationship with my partner...

The Way We Fight
There is hardly ever any emotion involved. Being both NTs we focus on the problem at hand and do not draw on any other issues. There is no name-calling, dramatics or personal self-esteem issues brought into our arguments. Both of us speak honestly and directly. It is usually very apparent whether one of us is mad at the other, "I am frustrated with you," "You are being rude and have hurt me," "Please don't speak to me for a while," this is the language we use. It is very blunt. Real fights have been a maximum of 20 minutes and we have had a total of 3. (Please note: we have had tons of arguments, and will sometimes offend each other, but once again these aren't made into issues because we are NTs and this is just part of the fun!)

Conversations
He, being an ENTP, has many interests and they change frequently. He also has very strong argument skills. I can stay fixated on certain topics and tend to read articles that are along the same viewpoints as me. He enjoys taking on new viewpoints and arguing other sides of an issue just for fun. He also brings in new information to our conversations because he is interested in everything. I appreciate this excitement and newness he brings to me.

Our Strengths Combined
He is all about action first and foremost. I like to think, and then rethink, until the end of time. This results in me staying on the couch all day Saturday or endlessly revising an email. He inspires me to get moving, while I get him to slow down and think important things through.

Independence
We both love our independence. There is no clingy-ness to our relationship whatsoever. He does his thing and I am perfectly content being alone for days. Both of us would never question taking an opportunity to advance our careers where we would be away from each other for a few weeks.

Self-Improvement (Workaholic Nature)
We discuss bettering ourselves a lot. This is the foundation of our relationship and why our relationship works so well. Both of our goals in life are to be the best person we can be. We are also ambitious and want to be the best at our professions. We both currently value our careers above friends, entertainment and unfortunately, our health. (The next phase of our lives is to find a work-life balance, of course.)

Weirdness
We both like things that are unusual, opposing status-quo and contrary to the mainstream.

We Interest Each Other
The ENTP is a real mystery sometimes. He is great at meeting new people and continuously puts himself in those situations. Although he doesn't like small talk, he likes keeping acquaintances and having many of them. These people are kept at a distance where they don't actually know the real him and he doesn't care to get closer with them. I don't understand the point of this. I do not like meeting new people and am dying to get to the point where we can skip the superficial talk, awkwardness and I can just be my weird self. He likes to feel uncomfortable and out of his element. I am the total opposite. We like analyzing these differences.

Our Faults

• ENTP ends up doing the bills, larger share of housework and is the one to communicate with outside world (our landlord, the waiter, the salesperson, etc.). This is draining because an ENTP finds these menial tasks boring too.
• INTJ gets annoyed by the ENTP being offended when they want quiet time, personal space or to be left alone
• ENTP gets offended more than INTJ
• ENTP is appauled that the INTJ can just sit on the computer all day
• Communication between the ENTP and INTJ is terrible in regards to discussing daily tasks, special occasions and routines
• The ENTP + INTJ combo is bad for all things regarding social norms, buying gifts, formalities
• INTJ gets annoyed when the ENTP can't stay focused, doesn't stick to something, or doesn't know what he wants
• INTJ gets offended when the ENTP doesn't want to (or care to) listen to their point on a topic
• ENTP doesn't like to dwell on negative things of the past. INTJ likes to get to the root of it all. This can cause the ENTP to be annoyed when the INTJ is providing advice.
• Both can be very arrogant
• INTJ has a darker sense of humor sometimes weirding-out or offending ENTP
• INTJ always judges people and ENTP would rather see the good
• ENTP likes to get stuff done, INTJ would rather read Quora articles