Safe Space

Sunflowers

Nunew got surprised to see Zee sitting beside him. He almost got teary eyed but he managed to compose himself so he just looked at the garden again.

"What are you doing here Phi?" He coldly asked Zee.

"Phi?" Looked at him sadly.
"It's been a while since you called me that" Zee looked up. Trying not to tear up. He focused on the clouds up in the sky.

"Well you are my Phi arent you? Anyway, arent you going out with P'Max? So why are you here?" Zee felt like Nunew couldnt wait to push him away. This just made him even sadder. He inhaled and exhaled deeply and poured him a cup of tea.

"Here, hot peach tea and strawberry cake. Eat some." Zee just faced the garden after he handed the food to Nunew. He doesnt know where to start. Or how to start apologizing to Nunew. He doesnt know the right thing to say. He remembered what Beam told him though, so he started to talk without looking at Nunew. Hoping that letting his heart talk would fix the mess that he made.

" Do you remember the promise i made to uncle narong? That i would be the best version of myself. To be successful. To protect the ones i love. Well last year, i started looking.for the best schools. I applied to many schools and fortunately, My dream school of Stanford accepted my application. I was so happy when i learned that i passed. I wanted to tell you quickly but then i realized that i dont know how to tell you. I was scared. I was scared to leave you. To be away from you. I was scared to make you sad. I didnt know what to do. It made me doubt myself if going away is the right thing to do. But i thought, if i dont go and fail on my other plans then i would regret not going. And i might resent the situation we are in. And i didnt want that to happen. I need to do this. I need to prove to myself that i can do this. For me. For our family. So i waited for the right time. I waited and waited . I kept telling myself that I will definitely tell you next time. But in the end, i didnt manage to tell you in time." Zee then looked at Nunew. The other one still wont face him. Zee started to tear up. Its now or never he thought to himself.

"Im sorry Nu. Im so sorry that you felt like i betrayed you. Like i abandoned you. Im sorry for hurting you like this when i am the one who you trust the most. Im sorry for being scared to tell you. Im sorry for unintentionally hiding it from you. Im sorry for not trusting you enough that you would be able to handle it. I know my explanation and apologies would amount to nothing compared to the grief that i caused you. But please know that you are still my one and only Nu. " Zee is crying now. He took one last look at Nunew before standing up. He then started to walk back to the house. Before he reached the door, he wisphered something. It was loud enough to be heard by Nunew but it could have easily been missed.
"I miss you Nu."
That was the last of what he heard before his tears all flowed down. He knew this is bound to happen. He knew he has to leave somehow. He just didnt realize he would be this sad. That he would be this scared. He thought that he is now old enough to be tough. But he was so wrong. When he looked back, Zee is no longer there.
"Hia." Nunew just looked down and cried.

The next few days, Nunew stayed in his room only. He would go out only to eat and go to school. His mother is starting to worry but understand why he is being like this. Zee remained silent all the time. He never showed a hint of smile in his face. He became even more stoic than ever. Even his classmates became concerned of him.

Two weeks passed and its already the day of Max and Zee's Graduation. Everybody is excited for them. They all dressed up and went to the school's hall. Max and Zee left first as they had to rehearse for the graduation. The rest of the PPU family will follow a bit later. It's now time to start the graduation ceremony. Max and Zee looked around and saw their whole family. They waved when they saw them but Zee became sad when he realized Nunew is not there. Max noticed it too, so he tried to comfort his brother by patting his back.
Maybe he gave up on him already, maybe he doesnt want him as a brother anymore. Those are the thoughts running through Zee's mind.
As the ceremony comes to an end, Max and Zee approached their family members. And as they come nearer to them, their family members parted showing Nunew who is holding two bouquets. He gave the first one, a bouquet of the bluest roses, to Max and gave him a big hug.
"Congratulations Phi. I love you." Max beamed at him. Nunew wouldnt normally show affection in a place full of other people. He was so proud of his brother that he gave him a kiss at the top of his head.
"Thank you Nong new. Im happy you are here".
Nunew then shyly faced Zee who is just staring at him . Zee was scared to approach him first. He was scared that Nunew might run away from him. Nunew walked towards Zee. He gave the second bouquet to Zee. A collection of his favorite sunflowers.

"Congratulations. Im proud of you......
...........
Hia.."

Zee almost didnt catch the last one. And when he did, he couldnt help but pick up Nunew and give him a huge hug. Nunew laughed as Zee swing him around and as he put him down, zee patted nunew's head.

"Thank you my Nu".