Dear Bully (UNEDITED)

31

Dear Xavier,

Ever since that day you yelled at everyone and saved me from Brian's cruelty, everyone's left me alone. And by everyone I mean all the people that had hurt me previously, don't even come near me or look at me. They still spread rumours about me but it's not as bad as it used to be. People don't encourage you or your minions to hurt me anymore; or anyone else. 

It's....normal. Something I haven't experienced in a long time. Not only that but today was Friday, and that meant the weekend to relax and actually not worry about the next week, because, unlike other days where I'd be scared of whether you were going to be the bully Xavier again, you don't hurt me anymore. You've changed. 

And this time, I don't think you're fooling me..wait, correction. I know you're not fooling me. Because now you walk me to class Xavier. You smile at me a little whenever I walk past you on my way to the library for recess and lunch and you nod, acknowledging my presence, when before, you never used to and you pretended I didn't exist. Yes it was a drastic change from that other time. 

 I figured out why you were mad though. Well more like you had told me. The day after the Brian fiasco, you told me that your mum was in hospital because she had cancer, and has been there for a few months. I don't know why you decided to confide in me..and it was during the end of English as well, since I was ignoring you as you were ignoring me.

I don't know why you trust me all of a sudden...but you did. Or do. Maybe you realised that I had no one to tell anyway.

You also apologised to me, before going home, you cornered me in the hallway and for a second, a split second, I thought you were going to lay a hand on me and so I panicked. But it soon went away as soon as your lip trembled and your eyes softened.  I don't know how to explain it but the way your eyes teared up and the way you clenched your jaw in anger at yourself...something/someone was telling me to believe you. It seemed sincere to me and I had no doubt. I never told you I forgave you though. I didn't want to tell you, there was no point in that.

That same day, I saw that your cuts were covered with tons of different coloured bandaids and I shook my head, almost--almost laughing at your failed attempt of a cover up.

For the first time, I did something courageous that day. I took your hand in mine and held it, inspecting it before slowly taking the bandages off, you hissing in pain. After that, I took you to sick-bay and the nurse bandaged it up with proper bandages. 

Xavier, I forgive you. But I'll never forget. 

Love, Anjana