Judge Me

S1E4: Wives, Exes, & Babies Oh My Pt. 3

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S1E4: Wives, Exes, & Babies Oh My Pt. 3

"I remember when it was me...."
- Paula Deanda 'When It Was Me'

-

Alex and Blue were amazing guests but I had to let them leave even if it was reluctantly. Blue couldn't stop holding onto me even as I tried to hand him to his dad.

"I want to stay with Stasi!", Blue yelled and his lip trembled sweetly as he grabbed for me.

The sound of motorcycles broke our attention. I spun around in time to see Jax, Opie, Chibs, and Bobby pulling up. They watched as Blue clung to me and my arms were wrapped tightly around him to avoid him squirming any further.

"Family reunion?", Jax questioned as he walked over with his usual cocky gait. I gave him a look and then looked to Opie for help. He shrugged not knowing what to do either.

"Blue is Alex's kid. They came to visit for a few days.... And why am I explaining this to you?"

"Blue, come to Daddy."

"Must be very fond of his nanny then."

"Oh, you asshole!", I grabbed Jax and pulled him to the side. He looked really upset but who was he to come over to my house and make a fuss.

"What is your problem!?"

"You have me thinking we are one and one when you are over her shacking up!"

"Fuck you, Jackson Teller! Last time I checked, I wasn't the one marrying random bitches and knocking them up!"

"Wendy isn't random! And me marrying while you were away seemed a hell of a lot better than fucking every thing with a pulse...."

Jax stepped back as he ran a hand through his long blonde hair. I rolled my eyes to clear them of the tears welling there. This man could punch some really good buttons when he wanted to. And I just wasn't ready for what he wanted from me. Not yet at least.

"You're right, Jax. It's not my business and sure as hell not my place to tell you where to stick your dick. But don't you ever come to my house questioning me like that."

"Who is that guy anyway?", I never pegged Jax for the jealous type but the gleam in his blue eyes told me enough to know I had to explain the situation he thought he saw. "He's just a friend, Jax. It was a surprise that he came to visit me and brought his son who I adore but we have never been anything more than friends," My insistence made me glance over and spot Alex scowling as he buckled a crying Blue into his seat and turned in my direction. I gave him a look that told him not to leave without me explaining. He turned away from me but went back to trying to soothe his son.

"Your Dad must really like him to not have chased him off with a shotgun," My blonde haired friend had jokes.

"Or he must have reached the standards Daddy set," I teased back as Jax's demeanor calmed down. He could be a real pain at times but if you understood him like I did then you'd see he was only watching out for his heart.

"Your Dad likes me."

"Never said he didn't, Jackson."

"So that kid?"

"He's not mine, Jax. He's Alex's son who loves me as much as I love him. His mother is some deadbeat who left them after six months of diaper changing. She couldn't handle it, Alex could, and I helped out a lot. So in a way, Blue is sort of mine."

Jax stepped into my space and I could feel the electricity building under my fingertips as I reached out to catch him by his cut. He gave me that charming smile of his and it didn't quite make me melt but my whole world silenced and he stood in the center. I couldn't let him climb into my head like this anymore or I'd be the one left heartbroken this time.

"What if I told you I was leaving today? With Alex and Blue? What would you say?", I tilted my head and peered into Jax's eyes trying to read him like the open book he was.

"You can't leave me now, darlin'. Ma's waiting for you to stop by and she's got a lot for you to catch up on."

You can't leave me now, darlin'.....

Could I truly?

"Gemma will rock my world until my hair turns gray if I let her. I'm not leaving today or any time in the near future but Jax you have got to keep some distance to let me figure things out. You are fresh out of a divorce, just had a baby, and the club is still standing behind you. I need to know when I dip my foot in there is nothing there to snap at it or bite it off."

"Nobody's touching this sweet ass but me."

Jax pulled me into his arms and slid his hand down to squeeze my butt through my jeans. I kissed him on the neck giggling softly as he whispered something into my ear. The words made me lose my breath with laughter. And then he kissed me on the lips swallowing those gleeful sounds.

"Go away, Jax!", I hissed as he released me.

The guys were watching us closely. Chibs, my favorite next to Piney and Bobby, walked over and gave me a big hug. I missed talking to him about what he used to do before he joined the Sons.

"How's Fiona and Kerrianne?", I asked as Chibs smiled down at me. "Doing good I hope, lass. They've been out of touch for awhile. I'm glad to see you okay. You're Da's missed you. I missed you," He was always like a father figure when I was growing up and I admired him for being able to walk away to protect his family. "I missed you, too. Sorry I didn't come back here but....", My eyes roamed to Jax who was smoking with Opie and Bobby was speaking to my Dad who had come out to see what was all the commotion.

"Jackie boy missed you. Don't think the lad could take you leaving again."

"I'm good, Chibs. We can see what time has in store for us in the future. Jax and I will be okay."

"I sure hope so."

-

My fingers itched to touch baby Abel as he lie in such a fragile state. Jax had left to talk to one of Abel's doctors about something. My lips were moving but the song that I had begun to sung slowly faded from my brain as tears clouded my eyesight.

"That sight will break anyone's heart," A familiar voice broke me from my thoughts. I wiped away the tears on the edge of falling and turned to see Tara standing there in her scrubs.

She wore a polite smile so I don't think she came to attack me but the devil wore a smile also.

The clock grew louder and the sound of Abel's heart monitor filled the silence as I scrutinized Tara. Her dark hair was longer, her brown eyes were softer, and she didn't seem like the cold hearted snake I pictured her to be. She had once loved Jax Teller and probably still did.

I needed to know if she would come between our budding relationship.

"I see Jax added you to the list. Only family is really allowed in NICU."

"I've been a part of Jax's family since day one. The only thing that separates me from him-"

"You're clearly black and he's clearly white?", Tara feigned confusion as she looked me over. I squinted my eyes at her but shrugged. "And I clearly can't be his sister if I want to be his old lady."

"You know what being an old lady means, right?"

I waited for Tara to continue.

"She's apart of that Club whether she wants to be or not. When the Feds come knocking, they come to her for info. Can you handle them kicking down your door at every mishap?"

"Could you?", I snapped. "Could you be loyal to someone other than yourself, Tara? Truly loyal. Jax needs someone loyal, strong, and proud. I've been a bystander in his life and that of my father's but I know what an old lady is."

"Wendy had him."

"You had him. I had him. If and when Jax and I get together, you better not cross the line."

"Or else?"

"You'll see what an old lady does to protect the place she has at her man's side."

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