Judge Me

S1E5: Falling Stars Pt. 2

Zendaya Coleman --->

S1E5: Falling Stars Pt. 2

"Just like fire burning up the way. If I can light it up for just one day...."

-P!nk 'Just Like Fire'

-

The night was uneventful except for moving out to the front porch and sitting on the porch swing with Kessa. My parents went to bed early and Mickey was passed out in her room after a day of running around. I watched the night sky through the trees as Kessa laid upon my chest.

"Haven't seen you in the past few days you been in town," Gemma stated as she stepped onto the porch. I should have known she'd come and find me if I didn't come down to the shop soon. "Been busy unpacking and-", She cut me off with her infamous cocky smirk telling me she knew it was a lie. "Trying to get back with Jax. I saw you at the hospital and I know you and Tara had a little talk."

"If you know all of that then why did you need me to tell you."

She shrugged pulling a cigarette from her bag even as I knew it wasn't a cigarette. Her bad heart warranted her the freedom to smoke as she pleased but I could never get over it.

"I always liked you better than Tara or Wendy for Jax."

"Yeah, right. I remember you used to give me those looks that you were hoping Jax would get rid of me and find a young girl who wasn't Black. You were the only one looking at my skin color whereas my parents, the guys, and even Jax saw me for who I was. I never did anything to deserve that hatred."

"It's not whether you deserved it. Could you handle it?"

"If I can handle twelve years of torture in school then being shunned for my color by someone like you wasn't even the tip of the iceberg."

"Why'd you run then? That's the one thing that irks me. You loved my son yet you left him to grief a loss he shouldn't have had to," Gemm came and leaned against the porch railing in front of me. There were at least four feet between us but the close proximity just made me shudder not with fear but a small piece of anger that had still managed to stay behind even after all these years. "You allowed him to go off and marry Wendy, knock her up, and now he's in a place where he can't focus. My boy should be studying the club and making sure he understands what it needs to survive another twenty decades."

I scoffed at her reasoning for why she disliked me for leaving.

"I allowed Jax to mount whatever woman he felt could please him in the moment then marry the bitch then get her pregnant. Wow! You are hilarious, Gem," I laughed with little to no humor in the usually happy sound.

Gemma extinguished her cigarette with the point of her boot.

"Had you stayed I could have come to love the thought of you an Jax. The club had accepted you even Clay. Why would I go against that?"

Her skills as a mother were amazing but the reasons behind them weren't always genuine or pure. She made decisions based on her survival with the club. I admired her for knowing how to easily fit in but she didn't know me or my family all that well to be making me feel this way.

"Why do you do anything you do, Gemma? Why hate Tara? Why drug Wendy?"

"I didn't-"

"You forget Bayleigh was the doctor who actually stood by Wendy's side despite her reckless actions in almost killing your grandchild. She wouldn't dare let Wendy get away with that but she wouldn't give her a loaded gun or threaten her."