Obsessed To Her Only

Chapter 23

This chapter is dedicated to anyone

who suffered from psychological

trauma or depression in the past

or still suffering.

I am here for you, stay strong ♥

Enjoy. (Y)

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Natalie's P.O.V

I finally said yes to Enrique, more because he was consistently pestering me about it and less because I wanted to. I still have doubts, like what kind of person he actually is. But he's the only child of people, I adore very much. I still remember how aunt Caroline and uncle Montario came to Brazil after Irina's death to give me moral support.

Adrian said I need to get things out of my chest so that I feel light-hearted. He forced me to go to a psychiatrist and I did. But it was of no help, all I did was cry like a kid. It got so worse that I fainted in doctor's office. After that no one talked to me about going there ever again.

I was a simple 18 year old girl who had never even been to a burial ceremony let alone witnessing something as cruel as death of someone close to my heart.

You can't get out of depression without strong will and back then I had nothing left to deal with something like that.

No matter how much I tried, I still was on the same spot where I started from. Ashley once even fighted me because of this. She said that Irina was just a friend why am I still lingering in the past, I should move on.

Everyone tells me to move on but no-one tells me how to do that. I never thought that someday, I'll become this sensitive. I also want a normal life with friends, family and someone special. But I am afraid!

Afraid to trust

           Afraid to love.

Afraid to get hurt again.

I don't want to trust or love someone like I did for Irina. I'll never forgive her, I'll never forgive Xavier.

No one really knows, what it did to me. I have trust issues, I can't make my relationships work because of that. After Irina's death Enrique is the first person I am going to be friends with. I never made any new one's. I don't want to get attached and then blame someone after getting hurt.

It hurts so much, I still have nightmares. Her death anniversary is coming soon and I don't know how much I'll suffer this time....

.................................................................

"Do you have to go?" I asked Jason one last time after exiting the main gate. He was going back to London today.

"I have to sister. I already missed classes of one week." Jason said while putting his stuff into car's trunk.

"That's not fair. You came after six months and only for two weeks." I whined while crossing my arms in frustration.

"Baby doll, I am coming permanently, I'll latch on to you like a snail. Just six more months." He caressed my cheeks with one hand while placing other on my head.

"Stay for at least one more week huh?" I spoke desperately, my eyes on the ground.

"Do you really want me to stay because you'll miss me or is it something else?" He got all serious and I knew if I ever told him what was going on in my mind. He'll stay without giving a damn about his degree. I can't be that selfish.