Counterfeit

-thirtyeight--

--thirtyeight- 

IT WAS TIME for us all to leave again. I didn't want this day to end, ever, yet I wanted so many more tomorrows. So much possibility, and life, was all waiting for me, and I could barely breathe in excitement. 

We followed Patrick back down the narrow hallway; though I knew what it led to, it was still just as creepy as before. As we walked, my arm brushed against Patrick's and I felt another spark of fire inside from the thought of it - of surviving. 

We got nearer to the door and as Patrick reached for the handle, Charleston grabbed onto my wrist, turning me around. I could hear Alistair outside, and him and Patrick slowly disappeared from sight, leaving just the two of us inside the building. 

It was dark, but I tried my very best to not lose sight of Charleston. 

"Pip," his voice, as he begun, was heavy and full of breath. He seemed caught over his words, like he didn't know how to say them. I spun my wrist around in his grip and laced my fingers with his. He knew that I would listen to whatever he had to say to me, and I knew the same applied with him. It had always been this way. Even before he found me here. 

"I don't want you to get upset-"

"You're not leaving me again, are you?"I latched a claim to him: leaving me.

He shook his head quickly assuring me that it was far from that. "No, Pip. Don't worry about that. I need you to do something for me. For you, as well." 

He had me curious, yet somewhat nervous. "What is it?" 

A light flickered off, bursting back on twice as bright. I took my eyes off him and was too blinded for a moment to find him again. When I did, his expression was empathetic. 

"Charleston..." 

"I need you to forgive MiKinley." 

I thought he was teasing at first, but even in spite of the fogginess of my memory of him, I knew that wasn't something he would have done to me. However, for a moment, I almost wished it was. 

"Charleston.." I repeated, shaking my head. I was trying to come to terms with what he had just said to me, and why he had said it. 

"You said that you trust me." 

"Trust? Charleston, what does this have to do with trust?" Either I was being stupid, or, again, there were things I didn't know about. "I do trust you, but what you're asking me to do - to forgive MiKinley, I don't understand why you want me to do that. Charles, he got you sent away from me." 

He sighed. Squeezed my hand in his - reminding himself that whatever frustration he had was not with me. 

"I know you trust me, but I need you to remember it, because it's going to be hard to sometimes. And when it is, I need you to know that I know what I'm doing. Can you do that for me?" 

I nodded for his sake, but I knew that I really didn't want to forgive MiKinley at that moment, and that there was amounts of frustration bubbling up inside of me that I was scared would come crashing out onto him. 

"I can't tell you why at the moment." 

There was an ache of disappointment in my chest, but not for Charleston. He sighed when he saw my face and I knew that he felt miserable for having to hide things from me, but he had to, so I had to let him. 

"I'm sorry." He murmured. 

I was worried he wasn't going to continue, or that he felt I was too upset with his statement to listen. I squeezed his hand back - communicated with our bodies. This is what I had missed. 

"That's all I need you to do. I know it's a lot to ask." 

Bravely, "I'll do it for you." 

He smiled, but there was nothing to it. Nothing real. Deep down, I think he knew how badly MiKinley had hurt me when he reported him, but for whatever reason, it seemed that it was important I gave my forgiveness to Kin, so I would, in spite of the ache. 

It had to be worth it. It had to matter. For Charleston. 

-thirtyeight--

I love having cuddles with my cat Chestnut.

-

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Philippians 1:21