Hungry Love || Book 1

TWENTY FIVE: "I'm Stuck"

Lydia hadn't stopped crying, she didn't quite knew how she still had tears to cry. Maybe her heart was crumbling and becoming water. Lydia's best, everything she could have done for Octavia, hadn't been enough. Deep down, she knew it guilt what she was feeling. People always regret things when it's already too late, don't they? But regret, apologies, it doesn't fix anything; they are just things people use to make them feel better. 

She stopped crying the day of the funeral. Yes, there was one. When people die their friends and family are devastated, there's a burial and, for months, they take flowers to the grave. But then they get over it. That's the truth, they move on, forget that that person even existed. And that's the cruel truth about death: when someone dies, the story goes on.

Life would go on for them, just not for Octavia. 

"My grandma used to say that when we die, we become stars, looking down at the people we love, to make sure they're happy. We have a mission."

"Thank you, Lydia." Mrs. Cooper pulled her for a hug and cried, "Thank you for everything, for trying to save Octavia. Thank you for not letting her... die alone."

They seperated, and the redhead felt the urge to scream at the top of her lungs, at the lost and desesperated parents, that she, the best friend of their dead daughter, could have done more. 

"Let's go, hunny?" Amelia approached her.

"Thank you." Mr. Cooper repeated his wife, "For everything."

The Jones just nodded, none of them knew what to reply. They turned their backs on the family, Lydia's green eyes only know noticing all the people gathering around. It was crowded with people from school that probably didn't even knew who was inside that coffin - even tho Octavia was one of the most popular girls -, except Amber and Malia, that were crying in a corner. After, Lydia saw the Mathews. The Council's were there too which almost made her laugh out loud; cause they were at the funeral, but where were they when Octavia was dying in her hands in the middle of the road?

"Do you want to go talk to him?" Her mother faced her.

"No." She moved forward.

When they got home, Lydia went back to crying. Amelia couldn't do much, just hug her, cradle her. Not it would fix the redhead's problem; what she really needed was to forget, that night and everything that came with it. 

ALEXANDER

Alec wanted to feel ok with the fact that he hadn't been there that night, he had arrived too late, he had seen the text too late. But the truth was that he wasn't ok. The last couple of days had been terrible. Alexander's instinct kept telling him to let Lydia go, that he didn't deserve her. He had seen her at the funeral - he remembered always seeing her unworried and beautiful, not that she wasn't beauty in flesh back there, but she was suffering everywhere. Alec managed to see the pain behind her green eyes and it was hard for him to know that partly it was his fault. 

The bell rang, everyone turned to look at the glass door - it was Lydia. She was soaking, the rain kept falling hard, and Ryan got up to welcome her. Even tho he didn't say it, Alec knew how much his brother was blamng himself too; actually, they were all feeling quite guilty.

"Hey." She tried to smile but failed miserably. 

"Hey, Lyds." Ryan looked down, "I'm sorry."

Alec knew Ryan hadn't loved Octavia, but he had feelings for her. Probably, if it wasn't for Iri's ghost haunting him, he could have loved her. And maybe, just maybe, things would have been different.