Hungry Love || Book 1

TWENTY NINE: "I'm Yours"

Lydia felt like she was on a stage, the spotlight, all eyes on her. She always wanted to know what it felt like to be famous, be the center of all attention. But that was old Lydia, the Lydia that would wear high heels and walk the hallways with her best friend in slow motion. That wasn't who she was anymore.

Everyone was looking, judging. Like she was a second away from collapsing. As if she was within a second of a total disaster. Dull, endless pain.

The red-haired girl was stopped by Ryan Mathews, he hadn't visited her in the hospital. Maybe it was because of Octavia, or maybe he just did not care at all – although his words didn't match such statement.

"How are you?" He avoided looking into her eyes, "I'm sorry I didn't visit you, you know, I –."

"I'm fine." Lyds nodded.

"That's good." Ryan smiled lightly.

Jones' gaze dropped, and the small, forced smile that had ripped across her face before she left her house was gone. Ryan noticed the girl's change and swallowed.

"Can you answer me a question?" Lydia lifted her head.

"Yes, I guess."

"The vampire ... was she in my house to kill me or to kill my mother?" She asked, her green eyes glittering.

"I think she was there for you, Lydia." Ryan told her sincerely.

"But why?" She shook her head, confused, "She needed me!"

"I don't know." Mathews gave her a sloppy shrug, "But it doesn't matter now, right? The vampire is dead, Lydia. I assure you."

A new question haunted the red-haired girl, she bit her tongue, kicked inside, tried to convince herself that whatever the answer was it didn't matter, because the vampire was dead. And yet, all her effort was not enough.

"Who killed her, Ryan?"

He looked around uncomfortably, "Does it matter?"

"I want to know." Lydia did not look away.

"It was not Alec, if that's what's upseting you." He assured her.

"Who was it?" She frowned, "Who killed her?"

Ryan took a deep breath, memories of that night surfacing. He remembered being side by side with his brothers, the Councils not far behind. They had trapped her in the east corner of the forest, not at all sorry for what she had just done, alone. He remembered.

"I did. I killed her." Ryan confessed.

"You?" Lydia breathed.

"Octavia deserved better."

Jones doesn't quite know where the need came, the will, but when she realized she was hugging the vampire. A gesture of thanks and understanding. She knew, deep down, that Ryan was not just referring to the fact that Octavia had left too early, or at all. He was also talking about himself, he was admitting that Octavia deserved more than him. And she continued to hug him, to get him drunk on her own grief.

"Sorry," Ryan whispered to her, "she was your family and I –."

Finally Lydia could see the boy's guilt.

"You're my family, too."

They pulled away, Ryan's blue eyes were flooded with tears. She'd never seen him so fragile, so vulnerable, and she'd certainly never thought she'd see that side of him. It was the first time she had seen Ryan cry; in fact, it was the very first time she saw a Mathews crying. Sometimes, Lydia had to admit, she forgot that they were still partly human and they could break, just like her. It was comforting, not feeling alone.