The Cure

19.

I slammed the door open and of course, as expected, the house was empty. Where did Mom go? I don't know and I don't even care anymore.

Things in the house were a mess on the floor. I ignored everything and ran upstairs. The thing that were stuck in my head right now, is to just.. End things. I mean, life would be better without me, right?

I ran towards my bedroom and closed the door shut. I opened a drawer and found a cutter. Things weren't right and none of these even makes sense anymore. Please, end everything. Make Il Han happy. I thought through sobs.

Slowly, I aimed the cutter closer to my hand. Slowly, I pressed it on my skin and blood starts flowing out, as if it was free from its darkness.

I groaned by the pain but didn't want to stop. Bloods were now dripping on the floor. As I was about to continue a bit more, the door suddenly slammed open and I saw a blurry figure, standing and gasping for breath.

I couldn't see straight. Why often at times like this, my sight always tends to get blurry? As if my eyes didn't want me to see the last thing that I'll saw before closing it forever.

"Il Min - ah!" the figure said, stepping in closer. Right at that moment too, I realized it was Yoongi. And I quickly aimed the cutter closer back to my now injured hand.

"Don't come closer" I said, my breathing were low and steady. "Il Min - ah please, this isn't the way" he said. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled, tears flowing down my cheeks.

"Are you out of your mind?!" he asked, making this scene a bit more tense than it was. "YES! Yes I am! Everything, EVERYTHING just never makes sense!" I said and I even laughed in the middle. As if I was truly a psychotic person right now that only thinks of dying.

"Please, just put down the cutter, and we'll talk this out" he said, taking a deep breath. Was he running?

"There is nothing, to be talked about" I said, tears now rolling down my cheeks again. "I understand what you're feeling, Il Min - ah" he said. 

"NO! You don't understand me! You don't even know me!!" I screamed to his face. "I know!" he replied which, well, that took me taken aback a little.

"I know that you spent countless nights wishing that all these problems would go away, I know that everyday you wished there was something new, or atleast that you could just live happily, I know that you wanted this sadness to end and I know that you felt so miserable, so.. So messed up" he explained, and I kept listening.

"I know what it felt like to be betrayed, I just didn't quite know what you had to go through to be like this, to feel like this. I don't care how much you feel that you don't deserve happiness in this world anymore, but guess what? YOU DO! You matter a lot more than you think" he said, lending out a hand towards me.

"Please, if you could just open up to me.. Let me help you, let me be your cure" he said.

I didn't reply. My head were still fixing as to what he just said. I turned back to him.

"And how can I know that I can trust you? How can I know that what you're saying is the truth?" I asked, my cheeks now felt a bit dry after all the crying.

"..Because" he started, frowning a bit.

"I felt the same too once" he said which startled me. Yoongi? He.. He went through all this?

"So please" he said now stepping in closer which startled me. Eventually, that causes me to hold the cutter even stronger which hurt my other hand and I groaned in pain.

"Il Min - ah!" Yoongi said and ran up to me.

Both of us were closing our eyes and after a moment, we opened it back only to realize that both of us were standing right infront of each other.

Both of us made eye contact and I realized that there were also blood dripping from his hand.

"Y-Yoongi! Y-Your hand!" I yelled, pointing at his now injured hand. "T-This is all my--" I stopped at my words, tears were now rolling down my cheeks again and I cupped my face with my own hands full of my own blood.

Yoongi threw away the cutter and pulled me in with his other hand for a hug.

Slowly, he caressed my hair and breathed slowly, letting out a breath of relief. "It's okay, I'm fine" he said. "You're fine" he said again with a slow voice. I didn't reply and kept on crying on his black shirt.

At that moment, I felt, warm. That was when I finally realized why I never felt at ease when he's not with me. Why my heart was beating faster just by the sight of him. I'm so dumb, too dumb to realize that all that happened because, I fell in love with him.

I don't just like him, I love him. I love Yoongi. 

Everything that he said, I shall cherish it till my last breath..