The Cure

29.

I woke up the next day not feeling the least excited to start anew.

I changed into fresh clothes and walked to school, not asking Yoongi nor Sehun to pick me up. I didn't even have breakfast.

The walk felt empty and my feet could gave way anytime. Without realizing it, I was already at the school's front gate.

I walked inside and headed towards the locker. I could hear all the whispers surrounding me but I made myself deaf to all that. Except that one thing that caught my attention.

"Are you sure she's suit with Yoongi oppa?" a girl asked. "You're kidding? She's a freak, and no freak would suit with an angel" her friend replied. I shrugged such cruel words from my head.

Just then, I felt a tense body behind me, cupping my ears. I quickly turned around to see Sehun.

"What are you doing?" I asked, pushing his hands from my ears. "You don't have to hear those you know" he said. "They're just jealous of you" he added. "Whatever, I didn't hear anything" I said.

"Oh my god, she's a playgirl. She's playing with Yoongi oppa's feelings! Look at her, playing with another boy" the girls laughed along themselves. I quickly turned around and faced them.

"YA!" I yelled and caught the other people along the hallways attentions. "If you want to badmouth someone, do it quietly! Do I look like I give a damn even if you don't like me? I don't! Even I don't like you either! So shut up!" I yelled and walked away.

Litte did I know, the two set of eyes from familiar boys were always laid on me the whole time.

~ during recess//

I sat at an empty table, refusing to sit with the other 6 Beauties. I've been sharing glances with Yoongi, but none of us wanted to speak to each other. 

I wasn't in the mood, and I lost my appetite to eat. I took the tray and stood up. Eventually, a girl bumped into me and I realized it was June.

The remaining food fell to the floor along with the tray. "Ya!" I said. "Oops, you should've looked where you're going properly, freak" she said, laughing and continued walking with the other girls, including Hyun.

Upset, I picked up the tray. Sehun came and helped me too. I looked to the table and made eye contact with Yoongi. He looked at me for a moment and looked away immediately, his face mad.

I ignored whatever he's trying to say and continued walking. Sehun followed me from behind. "Stop following me" I said to him.

~ after awhile//

I went to the field and sat on a bench.

It was calmer there, empty. The wind was quite cold and nobody was there. I tried to relax myself, despite whatever happened at the canteen a while ago. 

Little did I know, at the process of trying to calm myself, tears kept rolling down my cheeks. I wiped them away harsh but more rolled down. I groaned, mad at myself for making me look like a fool.

"You always do this" a voice spoke.

"Sehun, I told you-" I turned around only to see Yoongi standing there.

"Sehun?" he said, walking towards me.

"Sorry, I mistook you-" "Is he more important than me?" he suddenly asked which made quite taken aback.

"I-" "Answer my question. Is he more important than me?" he asked. I got furious. "I can't answer that!" I said in a harsher voice. "Why can't you?" he asked. "I've spent half of my life with him, he was always there with me. But you, you're the first person I ever fell in love with and made me felt like there's still a point in living when I felt like dying! Important? NONE OF THAT MATTERS ANYMORE" I yelled, standing up and faced him.

"So he's more important than me, huh?" he asked. "Yoongi stop all that!" I yelled. "How can I?" he said, his voice getting more serious. "He was able to make you smile when you feel down. I was unable to do all that" he said. I scoffed.

"Really?" I said. "Is that you ever think of?" I asked. "Right when I was about to kill myself, even when you never really knew me, you saved me!" I said. "That was only because I had to! Anyone would've done that!" he yelled.

I bit my lips. Is he trying to say that, he would've let me die there all by myself?

"Maybe then you shouldn't have saved me" I said. "I SHOULD'VE JUST DIED!" I yelled and ran away. He grabbed my hand.

"Stop running away from me!" he said. "Its not like you wanted to talk to me anyways!" I said.

"I want to talk to you!" he said. "I do want to talk to you" he said again, pulling me in closer to him.

"I want to hear everything" he said, wiping the tears on my cheeks. "But I was afraid" he said, looking at my hands. "That it would harm you too" he said.

"Opening a dark old story can be dangerous, Il Min - ah" he said. "Just like I almost opened mine" he said. "It could kill you inside as you tell them out loud" he added. "And I didn't want you to feel that"

"I felt that a thousand times worse than before I met you. Telling you about it might won't be that bad" I said. "Sehun's just a friend, Yoongi - ah. I don't see why do you need to be jealous of him" I said, letting him play with my hands.

"Because he has a bigger chance on taking you away from me" he said. "That's just so absurd" I said. "He's able to make me happy, but you're able to make me laugh. He's able to make me sad, but you're able to make me cry. You hold my heart stronger than he does, and that's why I'm afraid of losing you too." I said, looking at him dead in the eyes.

"Let's not fight anymore?" he said. "If you promise to stop being so savage at me" I said. "I can't help that!" he said. "You have to try!" I said. "Okay fine" he said and held my hand, showing his gummy smile.

"I love you a lot" I said.

"I love you too" he replied, smiling. 

That's when I realize hearing a "I love you too" was much more meaningful than "I love you".