It's very complex, difficult, expensive, interesting and fun to be an independent music producer. Volume three covers my attempts to: make acoustic improvements to the studio; cut down my production times; learn the art of mastering in-house ad muc...
In this chapter, I am going to share with you how I got myself out of a heavy and depressing "indie musician/producer self pity rut" but first, let me explain the depths of that rut.
One thing that usually helps is glancing at this quote that I hung up on my studio wall:
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But sometimes the dark, heavy clouds sink low and cover you completely. Maybe it is because I work from home all alone, (the loneliness factor), or the fact that I have been doing this for four years and the album still isn't out there (feeling of failure). People don't see one's progress they want to see results (and that's when I feel worthless). That's how they are. They aren't mean when they stop caring about you/me and your/my work (when you/I can't produce anything yet), no, they are just human.
Some daysI just want to quit! Today is one of those days...weeks...years
I don't know. I'm going to be 57 in a two weeks (yeah, almost 60!). I am tired despite having a great and long vacation. I'm down and out because:
- I did my bookkeeping today and see the effects of the fourth straight year with minus income. I see my time spent learning but no "fruit" emerging from the knowledge tree. If I had worked I could have earned tons of cash - well, at least more than I have lost these past four years.
- I spent the last three years doing music and not training! My new insoles and shoes (so I can start to run again cost me SEK 3,500! We are now at rock bottom financially and I am totally out of form. The worst ever. You can see in my face that I am trying to look happy but I certainly am not. Truth!
To top off my depressive financial news,
1. I still haven't heard from the mastering studio in Australia after two tries and three months of dissing. Either he is too busy or he thinks I am under his level. I am waiting until the next song to be checked by him for mastering (Rising) is completely mixed. I will then give him a call (9 hours difference. My life is one long history of being dissed to the left and to the right and I have no intention of working with a mastering engineer that doesn't have the common courtesy to listen to a song "next week" but doesn't. How can I be sure that we can hit the release date? I've started shopping around for someone else...
Why can't people treat me with respect when I try to mix. So tired of all this crap.
So. when another mastering studio (in Sweden), gave me an email "smack in the face" about a mix I sent, I am now officially considering learning mastering myself and giving them all a certain finger. (Lord, forgive me.) But to do that takes investing and that costs money - money I don't have so I am stuck with finding someone that will treat me with respect and do the job for a reasonable price. We have saved up money in another account for that.
2. People seem to have lost all interest in what I am doing. It's like the story of the hen that said the sky is falling and it didn't for a long time so they were not prepared when the sky finally did. I notice it on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. I am not posting often because I want to get the music done. As a result, I've been losing followers and momentum on social media. This will continue because I have resolved not to post much until I am close to a release date.
