An Indie Musician's Diary Vol 2

The Sad Truth About Making Music

Let me divide up the truth,  (of making music as an indie music producer that does everything by yourself like I do), into its various parts:

1. You're all alone with your music creation for the most part and that could mean years with an album all closed up in a home studio. When you go outside the door around other people, you'll find that it is fun to meet with friends but that you have become more of a hermit as the years pass. Loneliness is something I have to fight by making myself go outside my shell  and plan in my time to meet with others. They don't naturally come to visit when one lives far away like I do. Going to church means that I get to meet with some awesome friends and that has been a great help. Visits from my adult kids are scarce but highly appreciated too. 

2. No one cares about the process - they only care about the results. I noticed that 1 year into the Change My Mind album, people dropped off. They don't have time to wait for results and they just want to hear the finished music. When the music isn't created, they loose interest. 

As a music producer I am very interested in the whole music making process. I guess that I am a sort of nerd or a geek at heart. I think that my life as a music creator is somewhat like a scientist that works in the laboratory. You don't care how he mixes the chemicals or what chemicals he chooses. You don't care about his experiments or tests or statistics around his tests. No, you just want to have an aspirin that effectively kills your headache and that doesn't give you a stomach ulcer. Results are the only thing that interest people. 

That means that I can't expect people to rejoice over my incremental improvements to a track or a project. That is why I have a chart that I use to paste up a sticker every time I get a song to the mastering studio and when it is cleared by them. Also, every line on my Wunderlist app that gets done is a victory. It has to be. Otherwise I would give up. You need to be your own cheerleader because no one else is going to do it for you. 

It's been almost 5 years in the making and people don't believe that I will ever get done with this album. Their excitement dissipated long ago. Although I can see that I am almost "out of the tunnel" with this project,  they aren't in the tunnel with me - they aren't even waiting outside the tunnel to hear my music. They have moved on a long time ago or never heard of me. 

That's why I need to stop wasting time and just get the darn album done. For my own sanity's sake and because they I believe that they need to hear it. They are not going to be impressed by how long it took or want to hear how I mixed it when I finally come out of the tunnel. All they care about are results and I am beginning to think that way too. I need those results in order to keep pressing on as an indie musician. 

3. You won't make any money but you will spend tons to get your music out there for all to hear. I estimate that the music costs me anywhere between 14 to 19,000 Swedish crowns a year* plus the fact that I could have had a day job and now I don't make any money. All bills and no income. (*= 

Yesterday, I had a friend offer me a part time job helping some kid with their homework in a nearby town. My husband put his foot down and I guess he's right. I need to concentrate on mixing the music (that is why I shouldn't be writing this much more now.) Also, yesterday I spent the whole day designing merch on RedBubble because that is much more fun that being stuck in the song Rising with a complicated piano track that I don't know exactly how to fix. When I was done, I noticed that it doesn't matter how great the merch is, because I can't get paid. It seems that I can't verify my PayPal through them! UGH! 

4. The music making process is not sexy. It requires grit and determination, structure and hope. You're on your own and there are few to cheer you on if any. I have my husband. That's it.

5. There is no guarantee that people are going to like your music once it finally drops. They might not even find you in the enormous ocean of 50+ million songs on Spotify, for example. 

On a personal note: 

Today, when I noticed that I found that I have succeeded in the improbable achievement of misplacing (losing) BOTH of my leather jackets and need to buy a new one after a month where we ended up minus, I started crying. Is this music making really worth it? What is a musician without a leather jacket? How can you buy a leather jacket without money? How can I make money without a job? Trust in the Lord. He is my only solace. Trust in the Lord. 

O.k. I have to buy some groceries and go to the second hand next to it to look for a replacement jacket. Then it is back to the studio and more grit. And I need to iron clothes...sigh. 

Now you know the truth about making independent music.

Until next time!

https://lintr.ee/ekitzing