No Apologies

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November 26, 2008

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November 26, 2008

Atlanta, Georgia

The Dixon Truck Cab

"You mean... that was stupid?" Daryl corrected, a smirk on his face when he looked over at me. I shrugged, and didn't move my eyes away from the road. We were the last car in the caravan, which makes sense, Daryl and I (in my opinion of what I've seen anyway) are both pretty selfless, and it it came down to it, we'd lay down our lives before letting the group get attacked from behind so I think it worked out pretty well. 

"Shane was dangerous. Can you honestly tell me you weren't worried about him following us? Killing us in our sleep just to prove a point? He was in crazy love with Lori, that I can tell just from seeing them around for like two days, and Rick being back put a big honking wrench in his plans. He was dangerous, and he provided an opportunity." When I glanced at Daryl, he had barely concealed the shock on his face, and when he gulped, I realized why. He knew killing Shane was something I'd been thinking about, and now he was going to check that he was right. 

"He provided an opportunity for what?" He asked, voice raspy, like he had to force the words out. 

"He provided me with an opportunity to kill him without it being murder. He needed to die. He would have killed one of us eventually. This way... it was in self-defense." I didn't want to look at him. Didn't want him to see the self-hatred I was wearing so clearly on my face. It was something that I knew had to be done, but it was also something that I never would have considered doing before all this shit. Even when we were fighting to keep the Devil in chains, I still never would have killed someone on purpose, or even thought about it. But with Shane... I don't know, something about how he looked at Rick, how he looked at Lori and Carl and the rest of us. All of it added up into one giant, fantastic, blazing red warning in my brain. And if I had ignored it, and something had happened, I would have blamed myself forever. 

"Wow. Never thought you'd be the one to plan someone's death. Sam, Ruby, sure. They seem the type. Merle too. But you? I guess you shouldn't judge a book by its cover after all." Daryl snarked, and when I looked at him through the reflection on the window, I could see his disgust for me written across his face. He was right to be disgusted with me. 

"If I hadn't of done something... and he came after us and killed someone I would never have forgiven myself. I hate me too, if that makes you feel any better. But I wouldn't change what I did." The scoff that erupted from his mouth was his only response, and I refused to speak anymore. Instead, he focused on the road leading us Northwest, to who knows where, and I focused on the trees blurring by outside the window, and allowed the soothing sight to slowly lull me to sleep. Not even the odd walker bursting through the trees from the sounds of our caravan could bring me any anxiety. 

I had just taken out, possibly, the greatest threat this group would ever have to face, and I wouldn't apologize for it. 




When we stopped next, Glenn (the appointed map keeper) informed me that we were in Senoia, Georgia and would be continuing on as soon as we fixed the RV. Oh, that's right! The RV broke down, apparently this wasn't the first time, and T-Dog, Dale, and Glenn knew exactly what it was they were looking for. So hopefully this wouldn't take long. I was up front, guarding the group in case we drew any walkers or anything, with the help of Merle, and Daryl and Dean were at the sides, with Sam and Ruby in the back. I wasn't worried about anything, assuming that we would all be fine and nothing was going to come out of the trees to attack us, but I was more concerned about that than the front or the back being attacked. 

I should've been more worried about the walkers we picked up as we drove by. 

We were simply standing, watching the perimeter while everyone else dug through cars, trying to find food, clothes, tents, water, anything that could help. It had been going well, for about ten, maybe fifteen minutes when the first walker was sighted. 

We must have picked it up most recently, since it hadn't grouped up with the others yet, but it didn't take long, maybe a minute for the others to reach the back perimeter as well. 

I couldn't see Dean or Daryl, but I saw everyone else dropping under cars, Andrea and Amy ran into the RV, Dale laid down on the roof of it, and then I was grabbed, and hauled up under a car, and Merle was coming in after me. 

"What about-?" I started, but Merle's hand slapped over my face, and a moment later I heard footsteps. They sounded a lot faster than I was expecting from a walker, and that was explained when a moment later Dean practically fell to the floor and rolled under the car next to us. When he was settled he turned to look at me, make sure I was okay, and I gave him a thumbs up, and moved onto my next worries. Where were Cas, Daryl, Bobby, Ruby and Sam? 

I didn't get an answer, because moments later, the walkers met our perimeter. They were moving fast, apparently nothing from our group had drawn any attention which was good, since they were simply walking in the direction that they started to when they heard us drive by. 

I thought it was almost over, that we had almost all survived, until, right at the very end, a scream rang out, echoing across the highway, and drilling its shrill noise straight into my eardrums. 

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