𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔, d. dobrik

066. what do you want

ミ★
"In Chicago. With me."

David was convinced that he had royally fucked up. Ever since their almost kiss, he felt Aubrey pulled away from him slowly. That wasn't even the worst part, she pulled away from the friend group entirely. She kept her distance even more, only showing up to smaller hang outs. Meetings that his friends had that he couldn't come to because of his job now that he's shooting season 2.

He was actually a very busy person these days. When he's not on set/location for his show, he was constantly thinking about Aubrey.

When he tried to kiss her, he didn't think things through. If he started their relationship back up again, would it be worth the fight? Was she what he wanted?

What did he even want?

David let out a loud groan, startling his co-workers. He had forgotten where he was. The man was sitting in a very crowded break room on the set of his show. He was there because he was waiting to be called for filming. He was going to be shooting alone that day, the worst type of day.

David had developed a little bit of anxiety from filming by himself. He wasn't used to being the center of attention all the time and having a show with his name on it kind of demands otherwise. But not being able to be in control, or just messing around had taken a toll on him but it was fine. He really didn't mind it that much.

"Dude, are you okay?" Jerry, one of the set managers asked him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just can't stand waiting," He shrugged it off. It was a pretty good lie, if he did say so himself.

Happy with how he handled the situation, the 26 year old got up from the couch he was sitting on, swiping away the imaginary dust on his pants. He made his way out of the room, but before he was out of the earshot, he heard one of the crew talk to the comms, "Can somebody get Taylor in here, I think he's spiraling again."

Again? He thought. It was only one time.

His mind brought him back to the day he had a complete breakdown in the middle of shooting last season. He just went back to the house he and Aubrey lived in and sat there for hours just crying. He completely disappeared for 24 hours. Taylor had found him the next day on the couch passed out with the TV still on. She was the one who pulled him up and forced him to get ready for another day of shooting. She didn't even say anything, never pushed him to open up to her.

After his shower, David had successfully locked his emotions up again, pushing them away. To this day, he didn't even know why he behaved that way.

I should probably sort those feelings out.

David forced himself to dig deeper through his heart. Why did he suddenly have a meltdown with no triggers whatsoever?

'Maybe because you had nothing then.' A tiny voice in his head whispered.

It wasn't wrong.

After Aubrey left, David built walls up around himself. He gave all of his energy to his career, never actually making time for his friends and family. Thankfully, his friends were the best people on earth, and they made sure they all spent time together and were always there for him even if he didn't ask for them. So when he finally managed to get himself out of that hole, he still had friends around him.
Slowly but surely, David put himself back together, becoming the person that he is today, but he never fully recovered. Or maybe he did, but there is just a part of him that's still empty, waiting for something to find a place there.

The David who lived before was the David who had his heart full and was always striving to make the best day out of every day. The person he is now is a lot different, he now understands repercussions and the effort he must put into his personal relationships.