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[25] CHAPTER REVIEW: Songbird (Teen Fiction)

Songbird by imadwarf3 imadwarf3

Broken Halos (Chapter Title)
Teen Fiction (Genre)
Consequences (Themes)
First Person Present (somewhat consistent)
Suspense level (🌝🌝🌚🌚🌚)

---------------- 12.28.2020 -----------

Your chapter is very refreshing. I loved your start. It brings a dreaminess to the chapter. It also establishes her personality and her home-life rather quickly. Her father was no romantic. That was the takeaway I got.

I also learned early that she depends on music in her rough times.

The topics you introduce are pretty heavy, too. Divorce, infidelity, abandonment, dropping out of college, media exposure, and children essentially having to sacrifice and raise each other.

That's a lot and I think you nailed it.

For me, the pacing was slow, BUT, this isn't my genre and I know that this tempo is common for Teen Fiction. You lay out your character and area well. Anyone looking to escape should have no trouble doing so here.

There are some cliches, right down to the pink haired best friend and the not-interested-in-boys protagonist but they aren't turn offs at all. In fact, the familiarity compliments the new themes of broken home and broken family very well. Since you are likely to delve into some heavy areas in this book, it's good to have common building blocks, I think.

I was confused about why Faye knew Harley but Autumn didn't. Aren't they all from the same area?

As for Harley, it's nice to see LGBTQ characters in the mix. I'm not sure what role he plays yet, but you wove him in well. From his swagger, to his southern "Oh, Faye" way of speaking. I thought he was very warm and believable. His snark and teasing of Faye was also endearing to watch, although it seemed as if she was afraid of him. Hopefully he won't get depicted as 'catty' but that'll be up to you.

Overall, I don't see any big hiccups that bog this chapter down. You've got a GREAT start, a very interesting cast, and a nice open ending to keep the reader guessing. With the good grammar and tight punctuation, you're all set.

Readers of this genre, I think, will be pleased.

Prologue?
Skipped. As a rule, I do not read prologues.

Does this need an edit?
No. There are some dialogue tag issues but for the most part, the punctuation is solid.

Would I read on?
This isn't my genre, so no, but I think those of this genre will enjoy this strong start immensely.

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