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[44] CHAPTER REVIEW: Break-Up Club ⓄⓃⒸ ②⓪②① (Teen Fiction)

Break-Up Club ⓄⓃⒸ ②⓪②① by TheRemixGenius

1 (Chapter Title)
Teen Fiction (Genre)
Friendship & Misunderstandings (Themes)
First Person Past (consistent)
Suspense level (🌝🌗🌚🌚🌚)

---------------- 2.07.2021 -----------

I regret doing this to you, but I don't think you'll care. Why? Because you've got skills. Skills on top of those skills. The chapter is perfectly written. There was hardly an edit that wasn't stylistic. You know how to set up a chapter, and you certainly know how to end one.

And that's the problem.

Let me first say that this is no longer a technical critique but one that is based on opinion. As such, you should disregard parts or all of it if you so choose. I don't know what it takes to win the ONC. This is my first year even attempting it.

And, truthfully, if this was any other body of work on Wattpad, I'd give you a clean bill of health, tell you to try to spice it up, and called it a day. But it's not. You're going to be competing with hundreds of people so I'm going to talk to you as if you were an indie artist, putting your book out there against a million other books with something to prove.

Your book is so safe and by the numbers that I don't know if you should feel proud of its polish or ashamed that you didn't dig deeper for more.

It's safe. And cliched. It doesn't stand apart from the other teen books on wattpad. Better than it starts with this scandal and him trying to convince others that it's not true, but everything he does to that effect reinforces the rumors. That would at least build tension and get the reader emotionally invested. And what are the consequences? Is Raja's father super protective? Is he threatening to break the knees of any boy that touches her? Does the MC have a girl he likes, one he plans to ask to prom and now this rumor is threatening that?

Why should I care about these two? They are quirky and witty? Okay. But so are all the other teen MC's and some of those have real conflicts.

On paper, there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with your chapter. But as art, it's already washed into the sea of formulaic books where it will drown and be forgotten.

If it's unique, that needs to be presented to us from chapter 1.

Again, these are my views and my thoughts and I'm an old lady, NOT your core audience. But what makes your book special? Your characters special? What's a stake? What do they stand to lose if these rumors spread??

If you think I'm mean, that's fine, but I don't regret this bout of tough love. I can see it in your writing, making a bomb chapter for someone like you, of your caliber, is child's play.

Prologue?
None.

Does this need an edit?
No. The writing is solid. The edit is good. This is very polished writing. The plot is also established.

Would I read on?
No. There is absolutely nothing new, interesting, or unique in this chapter's presentation.

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