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Much like its predecessor "Manuscript Critique" and the second installment, "Speed-Dating Books," this Review book hopes to help both authors and readers alike.
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5.The Girl Who Wanted Everything By NERIN GEORGE @curiousgeo (curiousgeo)
Status: COMPLETE. Chapters: 22 ( short chapters)
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How did I find this author? She approached me for a read-for-read which I no longer do. But I am now offering free reviews so I read both of her first chapters.
What's the story about? We open with our MC. Talk about a gut-punching introduction. The pace is brisk, the prose is tight, everything about it is dynamic and exciting. She's an average girl, toiling in the shadow of her 'perfect' childhood friend who seemingly sucks up the very sun.
- The Story: The MC finds herself trapped with old friends, a drunk, a rock and a hard place, and a paper-thin wall.
What I like the most about this story (author)? First and foremost, the author can write. And not just write, but DRAG you in and FAST. That is talent. I don't care what anyone argues. It's talent. Just two chapters in and I wondered why this hadn't won a Watty. Then I realized two things. 1. It may have been recently finished. 2. It wasn't 50k, not if the counter is to be believed.
But make no mistake, THIS is a good story. And THIS is a story with a MESSAGE, something rare lately. The narrative voice is strong and snarky. The scenes unfold very organically and each chapter builds up and up and up and up, making the continuing of the story fun in the anticipation alone.
For the most part, I do think the ending was a good fit. Everything made sense and it answered a very important callback. It is under 2 hours now. I think most 50k reads are about 4 hours or so. But for a bite-sized read when you're waiting somewhere or have two hours to kill, you certainly can't go wrong with this.
Shortcomings. The shortcoming would have to be with the size of the story. This is literally a novel story in a short story (novella) format. I wish we could have spent more time with the secondary characters. I wish we could have seen the MC with each and every one of the teens on a heart-to-heart or an outing, just the two of them. By the halfway mark, I was already invested so I would not have minded one or two scenes (even if it were fluff, which I don't think it would have been). Because the MC is the main focal point, the other characters sometimes out-shined her. But if this is the first draft and the author plans to go back in and flesh it out, this is a straight up winner novel no matter what.
BEFORE YOU START: I think you should read this story twice, once now and once again after it's been edited (if it does receive an edit). Even if it receives no edits, I think a second reading would do any aspiring author good. Read it and ask yourself WHY the intro is so compelling. Read it and ask yourself WHY the character is so relatable. Ask yourself about the pacing, what keeps it so brisk and smooth. Think about the character interactions and how they make you feel, good or bad. And most importantly, keep an eye on it because it is going to take off right before your eyes.
This is a VERY worthy read.
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