Being With Him

Chapter 34 : No more holding on.

YN's POV:

I heard that Justin's tour just ended few days ago but he hasn't called or text me after our last conversation. I guess that he knows that I'm mad because I cut off the call the last time we talked. I don't really think that it's my fault but I still felt the guilt building inside of me.

Anyways, I just finished moving everything I have into Matt's and also sold my house, since i don't think that I'll be needing anymore. Matt has been a great guy and he still is, which might be the reason why I can stay by his side for such a long period of time.

But sometimes, a part of me feels like Matt's a total stranger and that he doesn't really know me as well as Justin does, but I always push them aside because I've gotta accept reality.

The thing that I'm most worried about now is how Pattie's handling all of this since she hasn't talked to Justin in over a month. I guess that I know how Pattie's feeling right now since something like this has happened between  me and my mom before and my mom also told me how she felt during that period of time I didn't talk to her, which clearly broke my heart.

I didn't really know whether I should call Justin since I'm the only person he picks up when people call. I knew that he was under a lot of stress and tension but that don't mean that he can go 'round showing people his temper, that wouldn't be fair for anyone.

I was having mixed emotions and was also thinking under stress until Scooter stepped foot in my room, interrupting my thoughts. I didn't blame him since it was also a good time for me to stop thinking about all of this.

I called Scooter to come over because he's always been like a dad to me and also always gives me good advice whenever I'm in some sort of trouble. I didn't know what to do at that time, whether to sit there and do nothing or to call Justin and ask on how he was doing.

Justin's POV:

I never realized how much of a dick I was acting like. No wonder YN got so mad and she even cut me off for the first time ever. I'm so stupid! I called Scooter since I saw YN's Instagram photo with Scooter by her side. She seemed so happy without me.

"Hello?" Scooter spoke up as he picked up the phone.

"Scoot? It's me, Justin," I said timidly.

"Of course it's you. Who else can it be?" he scoffed.

"Look, I don't want to talk about anything but YN, ok? I know that I mad her mad, is she with you?" I asked nervously.

"So what if she was? What can you do? What can you say?" he said sounding ignored.

"I want her to know how much I love her," I said before sighing.

"How can that be possible? You have Selena and she has Matt,"

"I know. But I can fix it," I said confidently but then got backfired  by Scooter yet again.

"Fix what Justin? What else is there left to fix?" he said with a strict tone of voice.

"I-" "Nothing Justin, there's nothing left to do,"

And with that, Scooter cut me off. What is it with people talking to me on their phones? Why does everyone cut me off? I was feeling utterly frustrated and just when I wanted a piece of mind, Selena called. I decided to not answer since I've already got enough on my plate.

Within minutes, I got a text from Selena saying that if I ignore her again, she'll stop talking to me. I didn't find that troubling considering that at least I could have some time to myself.

Selena's the type of person that needs to be pampered, but I don't find that deceiving since the only person I don't mind pampering is YN. For me, even though me and Selena were dating, YN was always my number one priority. A lot of people think that since I have Selena now, I don't care about YN, which is a big no. I may have done some bad things in my life but I'd never ever give up or lie to and about YN. I guess that I could say that she was more than a best friend, she was like my sister, but now, more than that and I don't ever want that to change.

The thing that breaks me the most is that I feel like we've changed a lot. It was like ever since I had Selena, nothing was the same, but I guess that I deserved it considering how much of an ass I was being to everyone

I remembered YN and the gang said that Selena would always use me for same and all but I didn't believe in all of that. I feel like an idiot. Why didn't I believe them in the first place?! I knew that I had to find YN and tell her that I'm the one that she needs, not Matt. I knew that I had to man up and that I couldn't run anymore.

I got dressed and rushed to YN's house but when I got there, I saw that YN's house was already on sale. I called YN but then she never answered me and that went the same with Scooter. I didn't know who to call until I thought about Ryan. I immediately called Ryan and was hoping whether he'd pick up, which he actually did.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Ry, it's me. Do you know where YN is?" I asked nervously.

"Why? I thought that you were busy with Selena?" he scoffed.

"Just tell me where she is Ry. I can't lose her again," I raised my voice.

Ryan let out a sigh then answered "She'd already moved in with Matt, she also sold her old place."

I thanked Ryan then cut the phone off before rushing over to Matt's place not finding any of them home. I didn't know where else to go so I just waited outside of  Matt's place until they got home. But while I was waiting, it started raining, but for YN, I still waited.

It was almost 11pm when I saw Matt's car turning into the driveway, so I got up and walked over to the car to see how happy YN is when Matt helped her open her side of the door. The smile she had on her face was just too much for me to go and break them up apart, that'd make YN hate me more than she already does.

I got back home and took a nice shower before getting into bed knowing that for YN to like me again, I have to be strong, be the Justin I always was and make it clear between me and Selena.

No more holding on.

__________________________________________

Sorry for not updating in the past week. I just finished my exams and I'm having a week of holiday so I'll have more time updating. ^^ Hope that you guys will like this chapter and maybe I'll update another chapter. :)

QOTD : What type of music do you like?

AOTD : Jazz is my favourite

Comment your answers! ^^

- Christina :)