Love Beneath The Darklines(completed)

Chapter 6 Listen To Your Instincts

Chapter 6

Listen To your instincts

Shyna's pov

I did not want to go for the match. I honestly didn't. I am too scared/ no reluctant to see that Davidson again. He makes my legs feel like jello. I have avoided him last few days. Even with the notes thing, I made one of the staff boys to deliver it to him so that I do not have to face him.

Now two good reasons why I am going, willingly going to see the match. I do not like to listen to my inner instincts because I strongly believe that I am dead inside. So I clarify my presence for the match as.....

First one being the teacher had forced me as it was a major selection thing and she wanted me to prepare notes on how do players perform in additional pressure.

Secondly I wanted to know whether this tee shirt no 10 was following the exercise of breathing for 5 seconds that I told him to count and did it actually help him?

There is one more reason that is not valid and also I hate to admit that I do want to see his glinting face when he played good game. I don't know why but I do want to see the cheerfulness in his face and I did. I really felt proud of him when he scored the 50th point touching his fist to the heart and counting. Later when he looked at me and pressed his heart with his closed fist and then pointed his two fingers to me admitting that he owed the thing to me, my heart was spinning. I cannot express even to myself how I felt at the moment. I had planned it earlier to avoid any confrontations with him so I simply evicted the place. I moved extra fast before the roaring crowd could move and came out of the stadium joining Spike to go back home.

But still as I am driving, the droplets of sweat that were twinkling on his forehead as the rays of the sun shone on them, his t shirt when he half lifted to wipe them off showing couple of his six pack muscles, his feet that were moving criss cross on the ground like an automated machine with his calf muscles tensed and the way his grays were scanning the crowd, the way he closed his magnetising eyes when he counted 5 to 1 were reviving in my mind.

I put my foot on the brake pedal and moved my hands on my face, pressing my eyes a bit harsher to stop them to visualize the happenings of the day and then drove back home. It took me a quite a lot of effort to keep my mind off this guy.

I had to complete the assignment and though it as not been declared by the selectors who all are going to be the lucky ones, I am sure of one name. I can start my powerpoint presentation once I am back home. May be working on my academics would keep my mind off the guy wearing t-shirt no. 10.

Somehow I do not feel like hitting the gym for now. I had overdone with my fitness things last few days when I felt that I was getting weaker in front of Davidson and I assumed that working out would strengthen me mentally and physically. It did too.

Now my knuckles are hurting a little too bad as they are bandaged now and even typing is going to be a bit painful but this pain seems to amuse me in a way. It makes me feel I am not alone. Pain; my permanent companion is there with me.

Today I am longing to write about the assignment. I have a special enthusiasm to do it. I always am positive about the academics thing. That is the only thing I do which is not violent but today's assignment is special. My fingers are clicketing on the keyboard of my laptop as if they are playing music on the piano. I am writing about t-shirt no 10.

Also I need to confess that I am visualizing the scene again and again when Davidson pressed his heart and pointed his two fingers at me.

It makes me feel good and weak too.

Nothing in this world should affect me. I am dead person alive on this earth and I cannot indulge myself with any other living organism. Though I have nothing for this guy and I am only worried about only two people whom, I do not want to get hurt and for whom I have accepted this kind of lifestyle- my mom and my little brother but still I am better off alone in my dark world and would prefer to stay beneath those deadly truth and astounding memories that tear me apart each and every day. I don't know how many further pieces I have in store for me and I long for this life to come to an end.