Chapter 28

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Nicks pov
I wake to shouting. When I open my eyes, I scan the theater and Meadow's sound a sleep. "Demi, please." River asks in a attempted hush tone.
"No, you're not leaving."
"I just want to run over to his house. I owe him an explanation."
"Why can't I drive you?"
"Because I don't want you staring at us, while I tell him why I can't go to homecoming, or cross country or dance."
I stand off to the side and listen, "River, it's not forever."
"Demi, please." River begins to cry.
Demi cautiously takes a step forward to embrace River, but River steps back. "Don't touch me."
"River—"
"I'm sorry."
"Save it. I'm leaving."
"No you're not."
"Are you gonna stop me."
"I'm not going to challenge you. I'm not going to lose my husband because you want to challenge me. My husband asked me and you to try and work it out. River, look at me." Demi pauses and takes rivers face in her hands so she is forced to look at her. River looks terrified. "I'm trying to work this out, I can't let you leave. Not without me, people are out there looking for you. You are not safe. I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me. I'm sorry, I wasn't clear when I said I couldn't believe you let this happen. I'm sorry I triggered you. I don't blame you for reacting the way you did. Im sorry, I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I love you. Im so sorry. I can't let you leave, I won't physically stop you, but I can't give you an alternative to leaving, take your phone, go out back find a spot and FaceTime Corrbin. Tell him that im a fucking bitch that left you with all this pressure and that you coped the only way you know how. Tell him that im fixing my mistake but taking away everything so that YOU can get better. Tell him that your mom failed you." Demi takes a breath and begins to cry, "tell him that you can't go because your mom abandoned you and is trying to make it right. Tell him." River finally holds eye contact with Demi's raining eyes.
"Can I go? Outside I mean. To tell him."
"Yeah— I'll go get your phone."
Demi let's go of her face, but before she turns, "can I have a hug?"
"No..." River whispers as she holds herself and turns away.
Demi nods and let's out a sob. She walks past me unaware of my eavesdropping upstairs. I go to the guest bathroom and brush my teeth. Demi comes in and stares at me. I look at her. "Hold me." She whispers completely defeated. I dry my face and grab her holding her tight like my life depends on me. I comb my fingers through her hair. She sobs loudly, "please don't leave me." I pull her to my chest practically smothering her as her body shakes.
"I don't plan on it. I heard you. Thank you for not challenging her even when she challenges you. I love you." I kiss her forehead.
"I'm sorry." She whispers as her breath hitches. "Please, don't—"
I can feel her body quaking, "I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm so sorry. Nick please." She's beginning to panic and trying to push me away. "Let me go." She pants as she begins to struggle.
"No." I hold her as tight as I can.
"Let me go!" She begins to scream over and over.
"No, I'm here. I'm here for you."
"Please, let me go! Let me go!" She begins to scream as she sobs hysterically.
"No." I say as I hold her. She takes a deep breath and whimpers. After 10 minutes she gets silent and if breathing heavy. I tilt her head so that she can look in my eyes before I speak, "You are my wife, Demetria Devonne Lovato. You were my wife before I was a dad. I love you. I took a vow for better or for worse. I love you."
"I love you too."
I lean down and kiss her slow. We break apart for air. I kiss her again as I move her hair off her neck and slowly part my lips from her lips to kiss her neck. I suck lightly on her sweet spot and she whisper, "Nick."
"You want me to stop."
"Where's meadow?"
"Sleeping in the theater."
I kiss her again as she moans, "lock the door." I unlatch my lips from her and rush to the door. I lock it and turn around. God she's beautiful even with a blotchy face from crying.
I go make to the bed and push her gently to her back, I stratal her hips as I look into her eyes, "you are my wife. I love you."
She whimpers as her eyes water. I lower myself to her lips keeping my eyes locked with hers. "I love you, Nicholas." I peck her lips and then start my trail of kisses down her neck and when I get to her sweet spot I lift her shirt to take it off. She pulls my over my head. As I leave a trail of kisses down her chest between her brakes breasts. She whispers a moan as I take one of her pink nipples in to my mouth and suck. "Nick." I smile as I release her. I love when she says my name like that.
I kiss her down to the hem of her shorts I look up at her and she sighs frustrate, "Nick come on. Take them off." I smirk. I pull them down and kiss her thighs, I can feel her nails scratching my scalp. I kiss her and she sucks in her breath, I slid my tongue up her slit and whisper, "god I love you."
She whimpers, " I love you." She pulls me hair so I look at her. She has tears in her eyes.
"You want me to stop." I ask taking a breath. She shakes her head as a tear rolls down her cheek, "why are you crying?" She doesn't say anything before she pushes me down between her legs. She whimpers quietly as I lick her the. Whisper, "say it again."
I stop and lift my eyes to hers, "what?"
"Tell me you love me."
"I love you." I say stopping completely and crawling back up to her. I pull her naked body to me so I can hold her tight. She cries silently. "I love you." I whisper to her over and over. "You are so beautiful. I love you. Everything's going to be alright. I love you."
"I'm sorry." She whispers.
"Don't be sorry. It's okay I love you no matter what."
"I need to take a shower."
"Wait 5 more minutes. Let me hold the love of my life for 5 more minutes."
She snuggles into me. "I love you."
I whisper to her as I hold her tight. She closes her eyes and moments later she's breathing quietly. I tuck her in and put my shirt back on. She needs a few minutes of rest. I unlock the door and go down to the kitchen. I put the kettle on the stove to warm up. I open the panty to get Demi's favorite tea to find Meadow, engrossed and devouring  a tub of icing and two empty tubs on the floor. "What are you doing?" I ask in shock.
"Um... eating a snack." She whispers with tears in her eyes.
"Go to your room." She stands with the icing still in her hand. I snatch it as she walks past me.
"Give it back." She snaps with tears running down her face.
"Meadow, go to your room. Leave the door open I'll be in there in a second."
"Whatever."
I throw the tubs in the trash. I grab a mug and prepare it for the hot water. I go back to the guest room and start the hot water as Demi sleeps. I light a few candles and add some bubbles as I like about whether or not to tell Demi now about what I just witnessed with meadow. I'll wait two hours for the therapist. The kettle begins to whistle and I go add the water to her mug. I set it next to the tub and wake Demi, "babe go relax for a few minutes before the therapist gets here." She nods and gets in the tub. "Demi, I know this is going to be hard, and I will tell her this every ten minutes if I have to: you are beautiful and I love you."
She looks at me, "I love you too."
I leave the room for her to get a few minutes a love. I find the hammer and screw driver to take off all of meadows doors, and search her room. She's sitting on her bed when I come in. We don't say anything as I begin to take the door off it's hinges. "Daddy." She cries, "daddy, stop. I won't do it again, I'm sorry."
"You're right you won't have the opportunity to do it again. Now, please get the box or bag or whatever you have of stuff- pills, razors, matches, lighters, all of it out of the hiding spot and give it to me."
"I don't have anything." She says.
"Okay."
I continue to take her bathroom door, and closet door off the hinges. Then I turn and look at her, "last chance to get all the stuff without getting in trouble, because once I find it all, you will be."
"I don't have anything."
I sigh, I start in her closet. I don't find anything bad, I do find a lot of hidden cereal box, empty cans, candy wrappers, and empty jars. "Meadow, you can't keep trash like this in your room, you could get bugs, bugs lead to mice, and mice lead to snakes."
"Snakes?" She says with a shutter.
"That's why we make you throw things in the trash. Please go get a trash bag." She runs out of the room and I take the opportunity to pull her bed to the middle of the room. I hear a gasp from behind me As all the trash is exposed to the open, "what the fuck." I say in shock.
"How long has she been going this." Demi asks.
"I'm sorry. Please don't get mad. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Please." Meadow stands at the door panicking.
I start to walk over toward her and she backs up, " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." She begins to panic. "Please." She's sobbing.
"Hey, calm down. We're not mad."
She's not hearing anything I'm saying. Demi tries to hug her but she  backs up at her touch, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me." She sobs physically shaking.
"We aren't going to hurt you."
Demi tries again to hold her and she screams, "I'm sorry." She begins to hyperventilate. "I'm sorry." Demi turns to me and I nod. As I leave to go get River, "Im sorry. Please, don't touch me. Don't."
I rush to find River, who's laying out by the pool staring at the sky, "River, we need help. Please."
"Okay." She follows me inside silently. She follows me upstairs as meadow screams hysterically. "Stop! I'm sorry! Let me go! Please! I won't do it again."
River stops and listens to her. "Meadow! What's wrong!" She screams as she comes into the room. Demi is holding a struggling meadow. River freezes as she sees all the empty boxes. River begins to cry. "Meadow. Stop." Meadow keeps struggling. River gets really closets to get but doesn't touch her, "let her go." She says to Demi. "She's not gonna run away but she doesn't do well with touch in this situation. Just let her go." Demi nods.
"Meadow, you're okay. You're not in trouble. All you have to do it calm down."
"I'm sorry. Please, River I'm scared. Please don't let them hurt me. I'm sorry."
"You're not in trouble. No one is going to hurt you. Calm down. Just breathe. Okay, you can hear me right."
"Yeah. I'm sorry— I—"
"Find two things that are purple. Focus, what are they?"
Meadow hiccups, "my- my blanket and the wall. Please I'm so—"
"Focus, can you feel your fingers?"
She looks down at her hands. "Yeah. River, li—"
"How many fingers do you have?"
"Ten." She cries.
"Make sure, count them. Take a deep breath."
"One."
"Good. Breathe in and out."
Meadow and river continue to count as I begin to through empty food containers in the trash. "I'm sorry." Meadow finally whispers, completely calm, "thank you River." River nods and then walks out of the room. Demi takes Meadow to a different room as I continue to clean and look for the things no ten year old should have in her possession. Wow, and to think we still have therapy in less than an hour. It's gonna be a long day.

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