A Brand New Day

Chapter 17

River's POV 

It's amazing how easy it is to do whatever you want when everyone thinks you're doing exactly what you're supposed to . I made up some bogus forgiveness text to meadow, just to keep my phone. I didn't mean it and it was hard to fake. But, in the end I had to fake it, to make it. I will never forget the words she said to me and that's the sad part. She says she didn't mean it, but in the heat of the moment she meant every vicious thing she said. It hurt and I'm bitter on top of stubborn. Just because I didn't mean it, doesn't mean she needs to know about it. 

Everything is going well. I mean on the outside looking in. When I opened that latter that I got while I was on tour, my stomach sank. I feel like I fell through a tunnel and hit the rest button. My routine is exactly how mom planned it. I wake up for school, shower, get dressed, then I smile and go down stairs. I give Marisa a kiss and thank her for my coffee. I grab my coffee and go back to my room. I turn on my straightener, take a shot of vodka, then take a deep breath and FaceTime Mom. I pretend I don't have a wall up and that I'm not hiding anything. I tell her I love her and then hang up. I pack my backpack and go to school. I smile and pretend to be excited about homecoming in two days. After school, I go to practice. I do my best to keep up with Julia, and be the leader I have to be in order to keep my title as co-captain and future youngest captain of the cross country team. After practice I go to dance, I teach my little-uns, then I work on my point. When I get home Taylor tutor's me and helps me with my math homework. When she leaves Marisa makes dinner. I wait for Marisa to leave to purge my dinner, I take a shot, work on the rest of my homework, and check on Maddie. 

Ever since Coral left, and moved back with her dad in North Carolina. Maddie has become silent, but violent, hostile, vicious and terrifying. I check in on her every once in a while to make sure she hasn't down anything stupid. Which can throw her into complete chaos, and we've fought, like actual fist fights in the last two days. 

After I check on Maddie, I FaceTime dad. I take my medicine, read the letter from Sam, hide it again in the floor board under my bed. I take a shot then cry myself to sleep. 

This has been my schedule for the past two days since I've been home. It's Wednesday night. But, tonight is different. Dad didn't answer so I take another shot. I read the letter then hide my bottle of vodka and letter under the floor, under my bed. I turn off my lamp and I instantly fall asleep. 

Then I wake up to a loud snap. It's only me and Maddie in the house tonight. So it has to be her unless, it's them. I hop out of bed and grab my phone and rush to Maddie's room. I fling open the door and instantly scream, "NO!" She's hanging from the ceiling fan with her wrist slashed open. I jump on the bed and try to untie the knot but it's too tight. That's when I see the blood covered box cutter laying on the floor. I jump off the bed and snatch it off the ground and slash the rope. Maddie slams onto the bed and gasps for air. I tie her sheets around her wrist to stop the bleeding. Then I call 911. "Maddie can you hear me?" she nods weakly. 

I go open the gate and the door then I run back too her. "Maddie, I love you. Please don't go." I whisper. "I swear, nothing is worth this. Mads, please don't go. Who am I supposed to watch movies with? What about Meadow? You're willing to just leave her. She looks up to you. You are everything she wants to be. Who is she supposed to be with when I'm mean to her." I ask her as she just lays there getting cold. 

The paramedics show up and that's when I realize Mom. "Maddie! Mom's going to kill me." That's when I get angry, "Mom, is going to kill me because you're selfish. Just like when Meadow broke her arm. This is going to be my fault. You bitch." I go to hit her and that's when the paramedic corners me. "You selfish, shit!" I scream at her. "Wake up and face me!" I scream again. 

The paramedic places herself in front of me so that I can't see her, she takes my face into her hands and forces me to look at her. "You're coming with us." I take a deep breath. "Did you hear me?" I nod. 

"I need to call my mom." I finally say. 

"You can call her form the ambulance." I nod. I grab my phone and follow the paramedic out to the ambulance and climb in the back with Maddie. My hands are sweating and shaking as I dial Mom's number. She answer, "Riv, what's wrong?" 

"Maddie." Is all I can say, the sound of panic in her voice makes me want to puke. 

"What?" Mom asks. 

"She- oh god." I say as I look at my hand covered in blood. "I'm gonna throw up." The paramedic looks at me and I gag. She hands me a bag, and instantly I lose everything that was left of my dinner. 

"River, What is happening?" Mom screams into the phone. 

I feel all the blood drain from my face, "Maddie's dying." I whisper. Mom starts screaming hysterically and I hang up. I lean my head back and close my eyes.