Chapter 43

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River's pov
"River, come eat. I brought you some tacos."
I open my eyes and look around. I'm in the living room. Everything is quiet and mom is standing next to me. I grab her hand and pull he down to the couch next to me. I cling to her. She combs my hair with her fingers. "Please don't tell anyone."
"I won't."
"Not even daddy."
"Okay." She sighs. "You are going to get through this. I won't tell anyone unless you say it's okay." I nod and close my eyes again. "You need to eat."
"Okay." I say sitting up. I can feel my stomach turning. But I'll try. I follow mom to the dinning room and sit across from dad. Mom sets a taco in front of means leaves. immediately the voice start.
'Don't eat it. 5lbs instantly.'
I try to push them away. And open the wrapper. I'm already shaking.
'Don't eat it.'
'Fat ass'
'You think that they want a fat kid on top of one that's as fucked up as you.'
I drop the taco. "No." I squeak. Dad freezes and stares at me. I lay my head on the table and hold myself around my stomach.
'Good girl.'
'Cut.'
"No." I say again.
Dad walks over to me. And bends down next to me. "River—" he says putting his hand on my back.
Instantly, my body goes stiff. "Don't touch me." I snap.
'Run!'
That's exactly what I do. Dad yells after me as I bolt to the front door and outside. I hit the pavement full throttle. And run toward the gate. What's the code? I ask myself as I approach. But my brain is fuzzy. I'm exhausted. I can't remember. I duck into the trees and walk among them. I find a big one I can sit beside. This is not what I wanted.
"River!" Dad yells.
I flinch but stay still and silent. I don't want to talk to anyone. I wish I could just disappear.
"I've locked the gates." Dad says loudly.
I don't reply. I just sit there letting the voice hypnotize me.
'You want to end the problem. Then leave these people. You're charity. They pity you.'
I cry.
'They don't want you. They hate you. The only person who ever wanted you... you sent away. No one will love you like sam.'
I gasp. Then cover my mouth. Just then I see the flashlight beam coming closer. I'm to scared to breathe or move. "Riv... come on. It's cold." Dad says patiently.
I sit silently, as I feel my whole body vibrate with anxiety.
'You're worthless. No one loves you. You're stupid." Then to my horror the voice changes to meadow's "you're fat."
I just want them to stop. I don't know what to do. I cry, "momma." I whisper aloud. I need her. I trust her. She'll help me. She knows.
"Momma." I cry louder.
Just then I'm blinded by the beam of the flashlight. "Riv, it's okay come here." Dad says reaching out to me.
I let him pick me up. "I need momma. Please." I whisper.
"Okay. Let's get inside."
He carries me in to the living room and I just break completely. My entire body feels like it's about to explode and I can't breathe. "Demi! Come here please." Dad hollers as he lays me on the couch. I curl into a ball and sob.
"Why are you—" she comes in rubbing her eyes and stifling a yawn but stops as she walks in. She sits next to me.
"Say it!" I scream.
"What?" She asks.
"Tell me what you said earlier."
"Oh."
Demi's pov
After I dropped River off in the kitchen to eat with Nick. I went up stairs to check on Meadow. She was sitting in her bed with her knees to her chest and her head down. I could hear her sniffing. I quietly went over to her bed and sat down beside her. She didn't move but mumbled, "you didn't finish the story."
"What?"
"The last thing you said is that you and Nick" I flinch at her using Nick's first name, "kissing."
"Oh, we'll that's the end really."
"Can't be, Demi. Did you get in trouble? What happened next?"
"Oh, well.." I sigh leaning back, "when  daddy brought me home, nana was waiting for me PISSED! Like fuming." She chuckles quietly, "she was freaking out because I just ran out of the house like a lunatic..."
I pause a moment as I hear the front door slam and shuffling downstairs. I'm tempted to go down there and check on River but Cassandra's words ring in my ears, 'split your time make sure meadow doesn't feel invisible.'
Meadow sighs pulling me back, "her words not mine. But then she was like your grounded! Blah blah blah. And you know what?"
"What?" She yawned leaning over to lay out.
"I didn't care." I chuckled as I reminisced.
"Because you were sad?" She whispered quietly as she turned over to face me with her eyes closed.
"No, actually. I was so happy and I had just had the most amazing time of my life with the most amazing person, I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with." I took over at her and closed my eyes as well. But continued talking. "I just went up to my room so full of happiness. I mean I felt like I could breathe for the first time in my life." I stop and listen to her take a deep breath, "it wasn't until the next day, when I woke up and I was so sore, I could barely move that I cursed my clumsiness. My entire back and sides were black and blue. But I didn't mind because I was just in completely in love." I said yawning. I open my eyes for a second and look at her sleeping. She is so calm and steady laying there with her eyes closed. But to think she as a storm inside her churning. I don't think she'll hear me but I whisper aloud as I drift off to sleep, "you are my, MY beautiful, strong daughter no matter what happens. I love you."
Then I drift to my dreams only to be awoken what feels like moments later, to my name. "Demi come down her please." Nick voice cracks as he hollers from downstairs.
I get up, irritated and tired. I walk into the living room "Why are you—" I say as I come in rubbing my eyes and stifling a yawn but I stop for a brief second as I take in the scene. Nick is standing next to a shaking River curled into a ball. But the most shocking thing of all is Nick is pale and shocking and absolutely terrified.
I sit next to her and hold out my hand to Nick and hold it tight.
"Say it!" She screams at the top of her lungs hysterical. So loud in fact that Nick flinches and jumps a little.
"What?" I whisper.
"Tell me what you said earlier." She snaps loud and desperately. She's hyperventilating and beginning to claw at the collar of her shirt. "Say it!" She screeches.
"Oh, okay. Shh." I say. As I stop Nick from reaching out to her to stop the clawing at her shirt. "You are so brave. You are beautiful, strong, and selfless. I will never leave you. You are compassionate, you are powerful. You are brilliant. You are smart. You are my daughter. I am proud of you. I love you so much. I am so lucky to have you as my daughter. I'm so proud to be your momma. I love you, dove." I say to her as she sobs. She seems to calm down a bit.
"Again."
I say it two more times with Nick sitting in front of me watching and anchoring me in place, before she takes my hands and traces my tattoos on my wrists.
"Thank you." I nod and kiss her head. I wince, she's hot.
"Do you feel okay?"
"I'm just..." she sighs and closes her eyes, "I'm just really, really, tired and my head is killing me. I'm going to bed."
I watch her stand, her legs are shaky and she leaves the room slowly. "I'm gonna take her some medicine." I whisper to Nick.
"Okay." He says quietly.
I walk up to her room, after getting her a glass of water and Advil. To my surprise, she changed but not into her normal bedtime attire of a large t-shirt and underwear. Which raises a red flag, because she's now wearing a large sweatshirt and as I walk in she's pulling a pair of sweatpants over a pair of leggings. "Hey," I say a little louder than intended making her jump. "here's something for your headache."
"Thanks" she says, taking the medicine after she pulls her hair into a bun. I just stare at her as she settles into bed. "Please stop." She sighs as she turns on her side away from me.
"Uh?"
"Stop staring at me like that."
"I'm sorry, I just thought you hated 'leg prisons'"
"They're safe and I'm freezing." She mumbles with a shutter.
I move closer to her, "dove, you're safe. Here in this house. You are safe." I say as I sit on the foot of her bed.
"Okay, goodnight, momma. I love you."
"I love you." I say taking a chance and reaching out and rubbing her leg as I stand. I go to turn of the like and think twice. I then go turn on her bathroom and closet light before turn off the room like. "Is that okay?" I ask.
"Thank you."
I go check on meadow, who unsurprisingly did not wake up to all the screaming that just occurred. Then as I pass Nick and is room I'm shocked to see him, in bed the covers pulled tight around him as her body visibly shakes. "Babe." I whisper as I get closer.

—***authors note***—
I decided that since this chapter is so long I would put Nick and Demi's conversation into a different chapter. I know a lot of people don't read this anymore, but if you have any feedback feel free to comment.
Also, I'm trying to dive back into this for my mental health I guess... cuz you know the world is crazy and it's something I think I'm kinda good at sometimes...
Also, also, sorry it takes so long to update...
Anyways,
Stay gold 😘
-Syd

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