Chapter 12

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        River's POV
    Mom and Dad are talking to Meadow about Jessie J's tour and her offer to take care of Meadow. However, my blood is boiling with jealousy. Corrbin called like he said he would, but I don't have much to say. I sit on the couch with my headphones in like I'm listening to music but really, I'm ease dropping. Meadow is explaining the school situation Mom and Dad. "There's a group of girls that hate me. The popular girls, they're always picking on me."
    "Are they picking on you? Or, are they bullying you?" Mom asks.
    "Yes," Meadow begins crying, "they hit me and one time at lunch they shoved me in a locker and left me there." She says.
    I rip my headphones out, "what?" I blurt.
    "They locked me in a damn locker. The day before we when tot the principle. They beat me up at recess. I don't go out to recess, anymore."
    "Why dint you they'll me?" Mom, Dad, and I ask at the same time.
    "What was I supposed to say? 'Hey guys, there's a group of girls at school that want me dead?' Or that they give me things to kill myself with. Even better, how about when mommy calls once a week width a smile on her face I say, 'Hey mom. Did you adopt me for publicity? Cuz' that's what everyone at school says.' Or when daddy calls every night to say a quick 'I love you.' Do I respond with, ' love you too, Daddy. Hope, I make it through another day of hell.' Or do I tell my older sister, the soon to be homecoming queen that all her best friends' little sisters hate me. It do I tell my other sister who feed my personal group of mean girls horrible information to bully me with. Or should I just tell her to just kill me with the rage she holds inside?' What was I supposed to tell you? Tell me! Because, I don't fucking know what exactly to hell you," she spews, trying to catch her breath.
    We all just stare at her. Finally, I break the silence, "So, hat? You are just going tot leave school and dance?"
    "I want to become a star, like Mom."
    "You want to be come a star?" Mom says and Dad sighs, while Meadow nods. "Well, Dad and I will talk about it. Will you two go get dressed, so we can explore the town." I nod as Meadow aheads to our room.
    I pick out my outfit, then I turn toward Meadow to ask if she wants to match, but that's when I see the marks on her thighs along her panty line. "What the fuck." I scream and charge her before she can say or do anything. I pin her against the wall with a thud. I hope mom and dad can hear me, "What did you do?" I scream.
    "Let go. I don't want them to see!" She screams at me.
    "Mom! Dad! Get in here, Now!" I snap. However, thats when she snaps and begins thrashing. The door opens and she bites me. That's when I finally let go, but that's when I flip. "Really? Why?"
    "STOP!" She screams.
    "Are you stupid? You must be! What are you doing to yourself? Burning? Cutting? What?"
    "Stop it! Stop it!" She screams then lungs at me but that's when Dad pulls me away. "I fucking hate you! You are stupid! That's why everyone, Everyone! Nobody, can stand you. Not even your real family, or your fake one! Mom hates you, Dad tolerates you, Maddie hates you, and I hate you. I can't believe that you think that you are better than me. I'm smarter, prettier, and more talented than you. I can do everything you can do but even better, including school and dance. That's why Jessie J want me on her tour and not you! I can't stand your face, you are fat, ugly and stupid. I hate you!" That's when she spits at me.
    I lose all sense of sanity and tackle her to the floor, I punch the ground next to her face. I look her in her eyes, "say it one more time." I say real low and slow, while mom and dad try to pull me off her.
    "I fucking hate you." I raise my hand back to smack her but mom pulls me off. I pull myself away from her and I stare at all of them.
    "Remember that."I whisper to her. Mom try's to hug me and I push her off me into the wall, "fuck off." I walk out of the room into the living room, I grab my fanny pack and phone off the coffee table, and i take off walking out of the hotel.
    I walk until I reach a park. I shouldn't have just left. Damn it, I do this every time I get pissed off and I leave. I don't even know anything about New York. I check my phone. I have voicemails from Mom, Dad, Max, and everyone else on the tour. I think, I'm not going to panic. I take a deep breath. I call Corrbin, "I fucked up." I blurt as soon as I hear him answer.
"Your mom just called. Babe, what happened."
"I had to go, I can't be around her. I might hurt her."
"You are in the middle of New York. Do you know how unsafe that is. You are a young woman, in the middle of New York City, alone. What were you thinking? "
"Are you mad at me?"
"Yes. You are impulsive and inconsiderate. I can't believe you would just leave. You need to go back to the hotel."
"Are you trying to tell me what to do?" I snap at him.
"I'm telling you to go back to the hotel, where you are safe. You have people looking for you, and being the selfish person you are, you are going to do whatever you want. I know you, River and I will always love you, but I will be honest with you. You are being complete impulsive and silly."
I can't believe this, I shake my head and I hang up. I google all the shopping outlets near me. I have tons of place. I'm selfish, Corrbin says, fuck him. I'm gonna have the time of my life, by my damn self. I walk alone, and the best part is no one knows me, no one care who I am, or my parents are. I hit every store I pass. It's great that I have my own money and dad gave me a credit card. I walk into Forever 21 and by everything that I lay my eyes on. I walk into a candy store and I buy one hundred dollars worth of candy. I stop by the starbuck's in Barnes and Nobles. That's when I see him. A boy, with brown hair that is styled and pastel blue button up shirt and light pink shorts, with sperry's on. I like a man with style and hair. He staring at me. I walk over to him, slowly, "Can I help you?" I ask with a little sass and smirk.
    "River Lovato-Jonas, Right?" He asks then he looks at me with his blue eyes and I smile.
    "You are?"
    "Michael Cameron."
    "You wanna walk with me."
    "I would love that."
    "Cool." I sip my coffee, as we walk through the store. I walk through every aisle. My phone chimes. I pull it out. It's Corrbin, 'Don't be stupid, I love you.' I groan and Michael grabs ahold of my hand.
    "What's wrong."
    "Nothing, family stuff."
    "Well, how is it that you, a beautiful, famous girl, is allowed to roam around New York City all alone?"
    "Easy, I do what I want." He chuckles. We walk outside and the sun is going down. "Let's go to the park."
    "Cool." I never feel the need to take my hand out of him. I like him, but I love Corrbin. We walk to the park and sit down in grass. We never say anything. He doesn't ask any questions and neither do I. We sit their quietly until his phone goes off. "I have to go that was my mom. It was nice to meet you. I love your music and I think you have a story that I would love to hear one day. You are a very inspirational person, stay strong and beautiful. You are a true icon that will change the world. Could I get your number and a picture, my boyfriend is not going to believe this." I stand there in shock that was the nicest thing that anyone has said to me.
    "Absolutely." I put his number in my phone and give him a hug, thats when I hear the camera shutter. He walks away with a smile on his face. Although, I feel like I am going to throw up. It's starting to get dark. I begin to walk. I stop by the convenience store on the way back to the hotel, I buy a tub of ice cream and two Red Bull's, I'm gonna party tonight. I walk out of the store and I walk over to a woman standing on the sidewalk. "Excuse me, I was wondering if you could buy me a bottle of vodka."
    She turns to me, "Baby, how old are you?"
    "17, I have a hundred dollars. You can keep the rest." She nods and takes the money, she goes into the store and comes how the with a bottle of Smirnoff. I thank her and walk back to the hotel. While not the elevator I stuff the vodka into the bottom of my clothes bag. I go into the hotel room. Mom, Dad, and Max, all turn toward me. I look at them and before they can open their mouth I grab a spoon and leave the room, and find a do to the roof. I eat the ice cream and drink the vodka. I turn on music, and watch the city that never sleeps below me and the stars that shine above me. When I drink about a fifth of the bottle I decide to call Corrbin. "I just wanted to tell you that there is going to be a picture of me hugging a boy. One, he's gay. Two, he was a fan. I don't want you to think that because I am so selfish that I did not do anything that may compromise our relationship. I love you."
    "I believe you, thank you for calling. I love you, too. River?"
    "Uh?" I ask through a mouth full of ice cream.
    "Are you drunk."
     "Yeah, just part of my impulsive ways, I guess."
    "where are you right now?"
    "On the hotel roof, looking at the stars." I say as I take another swig.
    "Okay, why are you doing this."
    "Because I can do what every the fuck I want. Bye." I hang up on her and I take a big gulp. I keep on eating the ice cream. I take a drink then a spoonful of ice cream. I'm full, but I'm thirsty. I drink and drink, until I hear someone call my name. I try to move as fast as I can to hide the bottle in the bag but I'm drunk and I can't move that fast. It's dad. He looks at the scene and he sighs. He sits down next to me. "I'm sorry." I whisper.
    "Me too. I knew we shouldn't have gone on tour."
    "I hate everything dad." I say, I don't even realize that I am trying to open the bottle until dad snatches it away.
    "You can't drink this." He says. He says as he pours it out next to him.
    "Hey! I paid for that." I snap.
    "I don't care. Now come on, you need to go to bed."
    "Dad, I can't do this. I can't sleep in the same room as her. She hates me."
    "You can sleep in the room, I will carry you to bed, and then we will talk about the consequences tomorrow."
    "Daddy, you can't carry me, I'm too fat."
    He shakes his head, "You are not. I love you. Be honest with me right now, do you have anymore alcohol?"
    "No. I love you too, daddy." He grabs the bags and takes me back to the room, mom and max are still in the living room. Dad lays me in bed and I curl up and begin bawling. "I'm sorry, I'm so selfish and impulsive. I try so hard to be smart and good, but I'm just a fuck up. I'm just so worthless. I'm sorry." I cry as dad pulls me back into his arms.
    "You are the most special, fun person to be around. You have a big heart. Sister's fight. parent's and their children argue, that is normal. You are normal, you are smart. There will always be things that you can improve on. You can and will learn to not leave when you get upset, to talk everything out. You will learn from every mistake because that is life. Your mom and I will always be here to help you. No matter what your sister says, we all love you. You have to remember that in your heart. It is okay. Everything is will be okay." I stop crying as he rocks me back and forth and I cling to him. He repeats over and over, "everything will be okay." The last words I remember him saying is, "life will always have some bumps in the road, what you have to remember sweet girl, is that at the end of the day, you will have family there to love you. You have to know that you will always be loved. Sweet dreams, queen." That's when I finally drifted off into sleep.

Author's note:
Sorry this is such a long chapter. I started writing and I just couldn't stop. I hope you like it.
Leave any comment or suggestions.
Thanks for reading.

Stay strong.

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