The Bad Boy's Queen

It's easier to have her hate me, than love me.

HEY GUYSSS
I'm so sorry, ik i've been mia for long, smh...
Anywayssss,,, thanks for being patient with me, ah i love you guys do much❤
HERE'S A NEW CHAPTER!
ENJOYYY
Don't forget to vote and comment <3
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*Grayson’s pov*

Alone. Quiet. Dark. Cold.

These were usually the terms used to describe me, but now they seemed more fit to my situation. Sitting here, on this bed, for the past 2 days didn’t seem to make much of a difference to my state. There were times when I couldn’t stop the image of Kaitlyn crying, feeling betrayed, right in front of my eyes.

I couldn’t stop her. I couldn’t explain myself to her, and maybe that’s the reason my heart feels so heavy about all of this. Heaving in a sigh, I looked up, feelings are true fuckers, aren’t they? Should’ve listened to dad when he said, “Love, affection, empathy, care, emotions, do not exist in our world. Your heart should be cold, void of any feelings.”

I need a break from her thoughts, from her stupid, cute face, and there’s only one way to do that.

I rolled off the blanked from my body and got up from the bed, picking up a white button up from the end of the bed, I use it to cover my bare chest. I slipped into the pair of slippers by the bedside and pick up my phone from the floor. I remember throwing it against the wall last night because it won’t stop ringing, subconsciously I press the power button and after a long pause, the company logo appears on the screen, it’s a miracle it still works. Sliding it into my trousers’ pocket, I walk down the stairs. I pour myself a glass of water and pick up my car keys, gulping it down in one go, I pick up my gun from the main table, wondering why I left it there when I came back from the island that night, although it should have been by my side knowing that the Lions knew what I did with their daughter, but I guess, I honestly didn’t care about myself at that time. All I cared about was how I hurt my girl.

As I slipped in the car, a familiar smell tickled my nostrils; I took another sniff and instantly realized that it was the smell of Kaitlyn’s perfume. Her signature scent. Sighing, I turn on the ignition and reversed the car from the parking lot, once I was out of my compound, there was an empty road ahead of me and the satisfying thrill of speed. This is what will help clear up my mind,

I never loved her. I cannot love her. It was just lust. I don’t know what love is. I was never taught how it felt. I don’t know how to love. I cannot love her. I did not love her.

I kept repeating this mantra in my mind and for a split second I think I actually believed myself and that was all I needed, just a breakthrough, just a split second of reality.

Suddenly, I felt someone sitting beside me. Flashbacks of Kaitlyn sitting beside me in that oh so little dress of hers, my hand riding up her thigh as she bit her lip and tried to clam her thighs shut. Flashbacks of that day on the island when she touched me from over my shorts, but I had to clench my jaw and thinking about something else because her mere actions had the ability to have me crashing down to my knees.

I cannot love her. I did not love her. I do not love her.

I slammed my fists on the wheel as I pressed the accelerator harder, “call Francis,” I instruct the AI assistant, “Calling Francis,” I hear her reply.

After 3 beeps, he picks up the phone, “Grayson? man where have you been?” he asks, his voice laced with concern.

“In my head. Meet me.” I ask, but it comes out as an order.