Synthesis of Scattered Pieces ✔️

30.

Guilt covered her as the clouds were covering the sky. They were about to rain as same as her eyes. The only difference was— rain was about to bring happiness but these tears were nothing besides a storm of sorry.

She looked at her left side to find her husband sleeping, or better to say acting like sleeping but he was unable to take a peaceful sleep that night.

"Suniye."

And the silence in reply made her realise that it wasn't the correct time to talk about anything. After a sigh, she stepped out of the bed and took steps toward Shifa's room. The door was already unlocked, as usual. Pushing the door she entered the room with cat steps. Shifa was snoozing lightly and a diary was placed beside her. Seems she hid that under the pillow but it uncovered itself magically. Maryam slowly picked up that diary and open the last written page and the tears that she was holding back suddenly popped out of her eyes.

Dear diary,

Today, for the first time mummy slapped me. This is the very first time when her hand touched me, not to show her love but her anger. I already know Papa doesn't love me but today I understand one more thing—that's mummy's condition; Neither she could take a stand for me, nor she could go against her husband. She could have a better life if I wasn't her daughter, I know her husband loves her, but he doesn't like my presence in their life, I and mummy have been giving our best to make some space for me but we're failed miserably. Whenever mummy tries to balance between her husband and me her married life suffers. But today, I realise that Mumma loves her husband more than me and also wants me to tolerate everything silently. Since childhood, I've been waiting for him to change his behaviour towards me but now I'm sure it will not going to happen at any cost...

I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to think about anyone... I hate everyone and I hate myself most. Only my existence is creating problems for all, I wish I never existed.

That's how the diary reading ends and Maryam looked at the testimony of her slap present on Shifa's cheek. Without choosing to disturb her daughter's slumber she put the diary back in its place and covered Shifa properly before going back to her bedroom.

She looked at Anwar who was acting like sleeping but she knew the reality. She placed her hand onis arm and he removed that.

"What is my fault? Why are you both blaming me?" Maryam cried out while mumbling which clenched Anwar's heart. That's true he couldn't tolerate tears in Maryam's eyes, he loves her from the dept of his heart but never got the courage to confess that.

"Stop crying and sleep now." Opening his eyes he ordered and Maryam gave him a disappointed look. "Tell me what's my fault?" She questioned and Anwar furrowed his brows. "Did I say it's your fault?"

"Then what's the reason behind your cold behaviour with me?" She cross-questioned and Anwar closed his eyes while saying "I'm not saying anything to you, nor your daughter. It's your daughter's life do whatever you want but don't blame me" it was a harsh reply which made Maryam angry.

"For Shifa, I'm your wife, and for you, I'm her mother. Why can't you both understand that you both are important to me? I can't prioritise one of you." Said the defeated Maryam which made Anwar realise that she was stuck between the two most important relationships of her life.

"Maryam," a few moments long pause and he continued, "I'm not saying to prioritise me, let me sleep." Saying that Anwar close his eyes and Maryam also laid down facing her back towards him. "At least tell me what is your reason behind refusing Daniyal?" Maryam asked but did not get an answer because this time he was sleeping for real.