Spring Vs Winter

Pregnancy Test

You checked yourself once again in front of the mirror. You did not want Yerin and Jen to see any bruises left. You can't stay home any longer.. All the way to college, you saw the same scenery on the street. Everyone was busy with themselves. They were so quiet just like herself. You wondered if they were as chaotic as you inside.

As much as you tried to be calm. You felt nothing was the same anymore..

You did not text or call Jungkook anymore. You no longer deserve to be with him.

"I missed you, I missed you.." Yerin whined.

"Sorry, I don't feel well.." You smile at her.

This went for couple more weeks. You had been very drowsy. You could not even fight the urge to sleep.

You had lost appetite and will to live.

"Do you want anything ? I will get them."  Yerin asked you carefully.

"I want to eat something sour.." She tilted her head, confused. You didn't like those kinds of foods before.

"Okay, I will look for something sour."

"I think I want a snack to munch on..."

"I will get you that, too."

Jen took out her out, her mouth was about to say something mean but the two of them just got the normalest version of you, so she held back for the time being.

"Thank you." You closed your eyes.

"Do you think she is just getting weirder? That girl is nothing like Y/n." You were sleeping in the middle of the lecture. You were very sloppy and reckless. You forgot that they had to meet in the coffee house.

"I like her being like this. I want to spoil her like she spoils me, too. It's better than when she avoids us.." Yerin said, you were always a mature girl. Now she feels like you need her more than before, she wants to take the chance to show how important you were to her.

"Tsk, the two of you are made for each other."

—

You did your worksheet with your eyeglasses on, they did not look so cute so you did not wear them in college. Things had been hectic and you had many things to distract you. This and that. Yerin also asked you to go with her everywhere.

She was a bit chatty, you liked listening to her but you mostly stayed quiet. It was hard not to notice your changes.

You used to like bickering with Jen, now whenever she said stuff you just ignored her.

Jen and Yerin were confused by these sudden changes. You didn't seem like yourself..

She asked if something happened but you did not tell her. How could you tell Yerin that you slept with her brother? Even if it wasn't intentional. You felt terrible.

It was true.

The world around you stayed the same.

The same happy Yerin. The same annoying Jen. They were as cheerful as they used to be. You heard Yerin telling her date with Jimin, or Jen who can do whatever she wants.

You were jealous of them. How could their life be so interesting?

You looked around your bedroom. The same book you left on the selves. The pearl jar you used to collect beside your bed. The music box with ballerinas dancing around it.

Everything feels the same except for you.

_

"Y/n.. You did not look good? Did you have breakfast? Should I get you something..?" Yerin asked worriedly. It's getting obvious that you were behaving strange.

"Ah? I feel like throwing up." You massaged your head, your stomach also making trouble for the past few days. Did you eat something bad? Your meal was cooked by a chef at home, so you wonder what caused this stomachache.

"You skip your breakfast again, do you?"

"I don't have an appetite this morning.." You rested your head on the table.

"You've been sleeping a lot during class. Are you sure you are okay?" Yerin asked worriedly. You were the most diligent student. Even if you are not into sport you are always in good health. She never saw you so sloppy before.

"It's okay.. I will do my assignment until late at night." You reassured her.

She pouted, "Tell me if you are sick, okay? I'm going to buy you candy first."

You closed your eyes. Come to think of it..

You have indeed slept a lot these days.

You got a constant headache and you have lost appetite. You should ask Yerin to see a doctor with you, maybe you lacked nutrients or something. The doctor will prescribe some vitamins for you. Oh.. When was the last time you got your period?

Yerin dropped you by the house.

You thanked you and went inside the house. Your parents were both working. The maid greeted you and prepared the meal. You looked for the small packages in your drawer. You had it for quite a time, however you did not dare to test it out. It was probably nothing. You just needed reassurance that you did not ..

You gripped the test pack on your hands. Your face was pale as you hold the result.

How could this happen..? How could you let it happen? What should you do now? This thing could be wrong, right?

But what if it was not...

---

"It has a strong heartbeat." The doctor smiled at you.

They are fast and loud.

You took another the test this morning..

It came out positive.

You got another test.

And it was still positive.

Now you went to the hospital to confirm if this really happened.

"It's nine weeks old. How do you feel?" She asked. Nine weeks old..

Does it mean you have been pregnant for two months?

You missed your period two times and you didn't notice that?

"I.." You are pregnant..

There was a fetus alive inside your stomach. You don't know what to feel about it.

When that night was over, that's it. You did not think of this result. You already beat yourself enough for doing such a thing.

Now, it had a trace that.. can't be wiped.

"Is this your first pregnancy?"

"Yes." You answered softly.

Doctor checked on your personal data. You must be a college student. She could imagine what you were thinking right now.

The doctor gave you a small smile.

"Eat and rest healthily. I put my number if you want to ask about your pregnancy symptoms. It's different for everyone. You have nothing to worry about." You exited the hospital. No wonder you were so slack these days..

What you scared the most turned into reality.

-bangtanboyspersona

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