Little Freak (h.s)

Chapter 7

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The days in Italy passed by so quickly. We were up really early in the mornings and we both had different routines. Harry was out as soon as he was waking up so he could start his day with a little run. I was doing some yoga to let my mind be at ease. As the days went by, i started being more and more anxious. Yoga was the one thing that made me relax. The other one was my late night talking with Harry. These conversations will always be in my mind. 

At 12 in the afternoon, i have this habit of going out on my own. I visited all the tourist attractions on my own and i took so many photographs so i could show them to Harry. I'm feeling really bad that he can't go anywhere these days, only at the quiet places that nobody would see him and these are the only places that he could be himself. 

I sent some of those pictures to my siblings and they were really happy for me. I don't know how quickly my luck changed and i became so happy. Everywhere i stand i feel loved and i feel important. I'm happy with Harry. It's really something that makes you feel so special when you are his friend, and i don't even know how to explain it. 

I don't really know how his fans haven't seen us together yet, too. I'm glad that my name isn't all over the internet and awful things are seen with it as well. We are going out really late at night when the lights are low and a lot of people aren't around to be around us. He is sad that he can't go out with me at midday but i don't care. Being with him is the only thing that matters to me right now. 

My inspiration is really back. I'm writing like a maniac and I'm sure that the book is going to be ready before the end of this year and that at the start of 2022 it will be out and everyone will read my feelings once again. I know that some people might hate it, others will love it though. And I'm really ready to receive this love once again. I recently posted an Instagram story and i hinted that I am currently writing. I can't even believe that after 5 years i am almost ready to be a published author again. My recent poems are full of happy thoughts, they are talking about a love that nobody can see, they are a hint of my love for this man that right now is speaking on his phone. There are some that i wrote about my family. A story that can have people sob as soon as they hear it but i have masked it so well under these words. 

Harry is a man that i love. I came to that conclusion the other day. I love him as a friend, but i love him as a lover too. I know that it will never happen, and i can only imagine it to keep me dream happy dreams. But at my dreams, we are together, as a couple. We love each other, we respect each other and we make love to each other. My feelings for him changed over night. At first, i was sure that we will be good friends forever. But as the days went by, and we were in Paris i understood that the feelings i have for him are not as friendly as i thought they were. I can't say anything to him, i can't risk our friendship for feelings that aren't mutual. Maybe as the time goes by i will eventually fall out of love and maybe i am not even in love, maybe it is just an excitement. 

"What are you daydreaming about?"

"Huh?" I ask him. I don't even notice that he doesn't speak on the phone anymore. 

"I'm looking at you for some time now and i can easily say that you are daydreaming."

"I'm not."

"It's better to live in a daydream though." He says and sits beside me. 

"How so, you great poet?"

"Dear Eloise, I am more than happy to tell you but i am afraid that you will not understand."

"When you call me that i feel that i live in Bridgerton and i am ready to marry."

"Bridgerton?"

"Oh my god." I tell him, "You don't even know it, right?"