Little Freak (h.s)

Chapter 13

In a paragraph, it becomes a little too much. So if you want to read it all don't read the paragraph about the dream Eloise had yesterday. I love you all so much.

It's been almost a month since I last saw Harry. I miss his face, his jokes, his laugh, his voice and his lips. I haven't been able to stop thinking about the kiss. I am daydreaming a lot about the moment I will call him mine. But, especially about the moment he will call me his. I am dying to hear him say that.

We have been talking non-stop since I have left. He texts me everything that's going on in his life, even if that is a fan's sign that made him laugh. I text him about the progress of the book. He calls me everyday, even if we get to speak just for a few moments. He facetimes me a lot. The fact that I don't sleep a lot makes our communication easier.

I haven't seen him in a month as I said. This month is so full and I am so glad that it is ending soon. My book is in the progress of getting published, the advertisement of it has officially began with me dropping little hints here and there. Harry offered to help me with it but I don't want people to read a book just because he read it once, or has spoken about it. I want this moment to be just me and nobody.

I haven't told anyone about what's going on with me and Harry. My bother and my sister know that something changed because everytime we say his name a smile is located to my face. I want to tell them everything but I don't want to. I want to keep it a secret. A dirty little secret that only him and I know and we do everything to protect it.

His fans know that we are acquainted. I don't think that we will ever break the news to them. If there is any news. Maybe by the time the tour ends he will get bored of me and eventually dump me. I am overthinking again.

My anxiety isn't at its best. Everything happened too quickly and suddenly that I didn't get a chance to process it. The book got approved faster than Jezebel, Harry wants me like I want him and I had Jagger with me for a whole week. Harry called me once Jagger's mother on a FaceTime call. He said that so naturally that even the dog was confused. He moved on quick so I didn't have a chance to comment that.

That week was the best week of my life. Jagger is a ray of sunshine. He was so happy to see me that he nearly peed all over me. I got to see Gemma again too. We grabbed a coffee together and we got to know each other better. She is the best Styles and Harry wasn't so happy when she heard that. He said something along the lines of that his biggest competition is his family. He later explained that the first and second place in my heart are taken by his dog and his sister and I don't have space for him. I assured him that I have a special spot just for him.

He needs the reassurance. I don't know what happened with his exes and I don't want to look over the millions of lies that exist on the internet. But whatever happened caused all of this lack of trust.

Today I am heading to my publisher's office. She said to me that my book is ready. I am not ready to have it in my hands.

"Hello, Eloise. Margaret is waiting for you." The secretary, Mia, tells me and I smile.

When I enter the office, I see a smiling Margaret with a pile of books in her desk.

"Hello, El. It's ready." She tells me and show me the blue book.

"It really is."

"How do you feel?"

"I don't know. You know me a lot of years. I have never known how to feel when I am handed my book for the first time."

"I know. But you succeed everytime. So don't feel afraid. There is just a month to read it again and again before you share it with the world."

"I know. But I am ready. I feel like it is my best work just yet."