Little Freak (h.s)

Epilogue 2

5 years later

"I'm sure that one day we will have the child that we want, dearest." I can still hear Harry's voice saying that to me even after 5 years. We are trying 5 years now to have a child. We have done everything but for some reason the fate isn't on our side.

We tried everything, every possible solution but nothing worked. We tried to adopt a child, we have so much love to give after all but that didn't work either. Harry's work and my story of child abuse and depression were the factors that the adoption center looked at and decided that we aren't ready to be parents.

Every test comes out negative, making us both sadder than expected. We didn't know how to handle it at first but therapy taught us the way of doing that too.

But let's take it from the start because I don't want to say another sad story.

Five years has passed since we got married. Five years filled with love, happiness, respect and smiles. We managed to follow each other's schedule as well as we could and don't get on each other's nerves every time something bad happened to our jobs. Harry kept his promise and there is no sad days, of maybe the best way to put it is that there is sad days but there aren't as many as they were before.

Five years has passed and I wrote 3 books. All of them are novels and all of them became best sellers. I became a public speaker despite my anxiety and I now am a speaker for child's abuse. I don't know how it started but I eventually shared all my story about the trauma that my parents caused and a lot of people felt the same as I do. So I started speaking at podcasts and small youtube channels but eventually it grew and now I'm speaking in universities.

Harry, on the other hand, after the wedding took 2 years off. He was writing and recording all along. He hoped that we would have started a family but that wasn't how fate planned things for us.

Kids are something that we don't want now. We don't even try to have kids now, we just let it go. Harry is a bit more hopeful and he says that one day soon we will have our own little Eloise running around the room and he will follow her at every step she takes. I know that he is a girl dad, I can see that and I hope that one day I can give him that.

These last few days I don't feel very well. Nausea is there every morning and sometimes all day along, my stomach doesn't cooperate and I think that I'm ill. I don't work a few days know because every time I see the words that I'm writing I want to throw the laptop off the window and never see it again.

Harry is looking at me a little suspicious every time that I throw up. Like he is now for example.

"I think we should take another test." He says to me as I lay to his legs.

"No, it will make us sad again. I'm not pregnant."

"I have a good feeling about this one, Eloise. Please, take another one."

"I will, but if you get sad I'm going to break up with you." I announce.

He laughs at my statement. "Darling, we both know that you won't. But you can try. I will never give you the damn divorce."

"I don't want the damn divorce. I'm afraid, Harry." I admit.

He looks at me. "I know, darling, I know. I'm too but let's try to be positive. I have a feeling that we might have a little one that we can call ours some day soon."

"I have a test on the bathroom drawer. Can you be with me while I take it? I'm afraid."

"Of course darling. Let's get up."

We walk together to the bathroom of our home. He holds my hand and never let me go a few meters in front of him. "Whatever the result is, we won't get sad, okay?"