Little Freak (h.s)

Poems Eloise wrote:

Prologue

When they asked me to name the book, i didn't know what was the suitable name. I immediately thought of his name, but i can't do that. I will expose him, and my feeling too. I've been daydreaming a lot about him and the way his words flow every midnight. So, here we are at the Daydreaming about the midnights. A journey that nobody knows about but everybody can relate.

I have never spoke about love. It was a thing, a feeling, i have never learned. I talked about lust, about sex but i think for the first time ever i am in love. Loving is a real thing. And it makes me daydream. God, I hate daydreaming so much I put it on the book title.

Heartbreak:

"Childhood is a sweet age, a memory that all of my friends have the best stories to tell. What happens when yours is a sweet nothing, though? How can I forget? How can I forgive? What I've done wrong? What I did to deserve this? How could you do that to a little kid, your kid?"

"Growing up i always felt unhappy. I was on my own, forgotten in the afternoon's playdates. Nobody knew what to do, a kid alone in a swing with a little teddy bear in her hand. You found me. And you took the teddy bear way. You said that i was a big girl. I was only 7." 

"People talk like they know you. And even if they do, they don't. Nobody knows my dirty little secrets, my pain and my misery. Only the color blue can feel me, and thank goodness the blue is everywhere. In the sea, in the sky, in me." 

Alive:

"I thought that i wouldn't make it past 21 but here i am standing in the middle of nowhere looking for a sign. I kept looking and i forgot that i survived. I never thought that i would need a sign ever again but i needed one in the sweet age of 27. And i found one, for the first time. It had a human form and green eyes. Maybe green is a beautiful color after all"

"Seeing the blue of the sea always made me cry. It reminded me of the things I could have but I don't. But this time, it helped me calm. It helped me feel alive, a long forgotten feeling."

Love:

"He said we are friends as we were drinking the wine. I wanted to make him stop saying this coursed word but my lips were sealed as i didn't want him to know my dirty little secret. I found myself falling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole and i couldn't tell a soul. The red of my dress and of the wine had become blue to match my feelings. Maybe one day I am going to let him know that secret and i will feel red again."

"I hate my name, I don't like being called that. It reminds me of things that I want to forget. But when I hear it coming out of your mouth, it is like I hear a melody. A beautiful one that makes the world dance and cry at the same time. Like it is a known tune with a twist. But when I hear it coming out of your mouth I feel excited to be known. To be known by someone like you. "

"We've been doing all this late night talking. I tell you about my day and you smile. I smile too. That's the effect a smile has. Now you are in my life, and i can't really get out of my head your eyes and the way you talk, even if that is blue. It goes well with the midnight sky we are looking at." 

"We are eating sushi in silence. That silence is the most comfortable silence i have ever felt. Your dog is sitting in front of my legs and just now i realized how much i am in love with you."

"We were living together. You, me and your dog. God, I've never done that. And then we were to Italy. Rome. Just you and me. Maybe the love I have for you is more than I thought."

"London, Paris, Rome. Visiting places I love with you. Walking down the streets of Rome late at night with you. I thought that Paris is the city of love but I think for me it is Rome. Because Rome reminds me of you."

Self-accepted

"I'm always thought but I am alone but not forgotten. I've never thought that I had me throughout all of this journey. Maybe I don't hate my hame, maybe I like the blue in me. Maybe blue is actually the warmest color."

.............

I'm not a poet. I don't know how to write in prose. I've read so much of it and I tried. Hope it's not cringy enough. Don't forget to vote and comment.

Have a good rest of the day, or night. Love youuuuu..