Hana

From The First Day I Met You.

Meg

I feel embarrassed now that I hugged Yuzu during breakfast. It's not like I have never hugged him before, but the excitement and the contentment are bursting frantically all over my body, that I can't help myself but to hug him. The invitation is truly unexpected, in fact, I've never thought of the chance of ever go into the back stage!

What could it be? What could he say to me? Is he going to tell me to stay away from him? Because I'm too annoying and crossing? My heart must be pumping more blood than I usually do. I feel my heart jumping out of my throat. I swallow it with a mouthful of yogurt. I do not want my heart to be spit out. I need it for later, and plus, if it is going to be spit out, I will only give my heart to Yuzu.

-

"Done?" Yuzu says as he walks to my table when I put the last spoon of the delicious, creamy and sour, smooth, and sweet yogurt fruit salad into my mouth.

"Yes." I wipe my mouth with a napkin.

"The yogurt is delicious. " Yuzu says.

"Yes, indeed." I smile at him.

We leave the lounge as I do not forget to say thank you to Yuzu again for this special opportunity. In some ways I feel troubled to let him take me to the rehearsal. He doesn't have to do this for me.

"I thought that this will make you happy." Yuzu says. "The time I saw you in the airport, you were not as cheerful as you are now."

"I am the happiest girl today, Yuzu." I reassure him.

Right now, we are walking on a huge marble swirling stairs that leads to the 2nd floor of the lobby. It feels magnificent to walk on the stairs. I feel as if I'm the princess and Yuzu, the prince, is leading me to a wonderful paradise where there will be no bullying, domination, fake love, and motivation of desire.

Since Akira forced me to kiss him, he has been beside me, controlling, restricting, and confining me under his hawk eyes. He does not allow me to go to other places without his companion, or should I call it "surveillance". All I know is that Akira does not love me, from the beginning till the rest of the eternity. His disdainful attitude over me permeated through his body, words and actions. Akira dominated my life before I got rescued by Yuzu.

Now, I just want to confess everything to Yuzu. I want him to purify me. I want him to liberate me from the curse of Akira. I want him to be my savior.

"Meg, I have something to ask you." Yuzu pauses when we finally reached the 2nd floor. "Sorry if I sound offensive, but what happened? What happened to you in those months?" His words are like a spell on me. I will do anything he asks me to do.

I swallow back my tears. I want to cry right now. All the frustration, from I stopped admiring him to now when I finally been able to see him in real life again, mixes with my salty tears into something indescribably bitter and swirls like a fountain to my eyes. I close my eyes to calm myself. "It's alright, Meg, just tell him." I tell myself.

"Yuzu, I have been waiting this chance for so long to give you an answer. But please do not judge me badly, I don't want you to think I'm a bad girl..." I lower my head.

"It's alright. Tell me everything. I won't laugh at you or be unhappy with you." Yuzu says warmly.

I started as I open my eyes to meet his.

He leads me to a small corner of the floor where there are sofas for people to rest. Both of us sit down and i look into his deep dark patient eyes. I can trust him.

"It started with Akira. I met him in Tokyo...." I continue. As I explain through my story, I keep my eyesight either on his neck or on the hands. I take cursory glances at his face. His facial expression is expressionless. Yuzu's mouth is in a flat line, he barely shifts in his chair. But his eyes are always fixed on me. When I am talking about the time of I avoiding everything that is related to him, Yuzu changed his expression. Confused, disbelief, and hurt. He's hurt, hurt by me. My frail heart is shattering into pieces when I see him like that. I knew how cruelly I had done to him, I knew I shouldn't come and see him anymore, I knew I shouldn't hurt him. I always do. And how dare I sitting in front of him and confessing these cruel words to him!