Hana

Realization

Yuzu

Meg told me that she has to cook dinner for her dad, but she said she will come to see me after the media have left. It's a very wise choice. If she come during the practice, she might got disturb by the media, which I fear to happen. She kindly invited me to her dinner, but I reminded her that this is a family dinner and she should spend this precious time only with her family.

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Today is the day. I put on the ANA jacket, slide into my sneakers, and grab the handle of the door of my house.
"Ganbatte!" My mom pat on my shoulder and hands me my luggage of my skates and water bottle, and other things. I smile to her.

I head off to the club.

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Just before I arrive the station where the skating club is, I check my phone and see that Meg had sent me a simple message.
"Good luck! You will become the best Phantom in the world."
"Thanks." I reply
"Trust me, people is going to love this program so much."
"I'll do my best today."
"I know, you always are."
"Always?"
"Yes. Always."

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"This is chocolate cake. There were some extra batter so I made an extra mini chocolate cake. For you." Meg says. We meet on the other day after the practice. We sit in a café and Meg orders a cup of black tea. She said that it will be nice if I drink black tea while eating the cake.
"Thank you." I gently take the box with the cake inside from Meg.
"How's yesterday?" She asks, always with her brightest and clearest voice. Even though her voice is so clear but her voice is gentle and warm.
"Everything went smoothly." I answer her.
It seems like our conversation are relatively short, but it is the short and shy conversation that I especially like.
"The cameras are crazy. The whole rink side space was full of cameras." I add.
"I know, the videos are out already. You looked relaxed yesterday. Great to see."
I'm absolutely shocked of how quick Meg, as a fan, can know about my news.
I open the box and I see a delicate brown chocolate cake, with a little message paper next to it. The smell of the rich chocolate rushes to me, and to be quite frankly, it is better than any other chocolate cake that I ever smell before. I open the paper and read the message. She wishes me to learn valuable lessons in my life through this season and wishes me good health. Meg hands me a fork and I start digging in. The balance between the sweetness and bitterness is sublime and irresistible. I can't stop getting another bite after another bite. The fork lands on the plate after a swift clean on the plate.
"ごちそうさまですた！" I say after clearing the dessert.
"Yummy?" She asks with an eager voice, dying to know the answer.
"Absolutely! Love it!" I answer with the utmost excitement.
I know that Meg will be very happy, but I didn't know that she will be this happy.
The glow on her face is healthy and her giggles are so cheerful and in high spirit. Her giggles blows away all my tiredness of the training and fatigue from the media. Ah, I can be absolutely relaxed when I'm with her, I thought.
Spending my free time with Meg worth more than playing video games or doing other stuff that has no connection with skating.
"The bad thing is that I can't make this too often." Meg says, still smiling at me.
"The bad thing is that I can't eat it everyday." I answer. "It is very delicious. Thank you very much."

This day ends in a joyful mood. I thought that our lives can always be like this.

But I was too innocent.

I was wrong.
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"No." Meg speaks with her serious tone. I never heard she speaking in such a tone to me before. Meg is always gentle and mild. "I know that you value competition more than anything, and I always respect you, but this time I will say no."
"Meg, I have to do this."
"No, your back is hurting and the doctor said you better not compete." She emphasizes on the "not".
A long and heavy air was let out from my body.
I guess hearing my sigh Meg keeps her silence and stares at the cup between us.
"I'm going to compete in Finlandia Cup. I have to defend my title from the last two years." I break the silence.
"Yuzu, please, it's not Olympic. Your health is the priority." Meg looks at me with a wrinkled eyebrows.
"Meg!" I raises my voice. "You said you respect me. Why did you say that! I value every competition like it is Olympic."
I feel like being offended by someone I thought who understands me very well. Meg lowers her head and bites her lips as if she knows that she said something she shouldn't say.
"I'm sorry." I apologize. "I shouldn't raised my voice."
"It's stupid for me to say that to you." She said. "I feel like an idiot right now."
"Meg..."
"It's okay, I said something wrong which I thought it's transgressive for me to say." Meg says in a guilty voice.
I want to say something but I can't find a word.
"Please consider carefully, all I wish for is your good health." She stands up from the chair and takes her bag. "After all, I'm not a professional skater or doctor. You don't have to listen to a fan to decide whether you will compete or not." Meg says solemnly, barely looking at me.
"Meg, I thought we're very close! You know you are more than a fan to me."
Meg says nothing. Both of us stop at my words and both of us know that we are neither couples nor "very" close friends. I sigh again.
"Well," she breaks the silence." I can understand that you think I'm more than a fan, but I don't know if that will help me to persuade you not to compete."
"Please, I beg you, Yuzuru." She sat down. It has been a long time since I heard she call me my full name. I look at her with seriousness. Her eyes are still and deep, like the Pacific Ocean, always absorbing me into her.
"Think ahead. You get more chances in the future! If you got hurt this time what will you do at the Grand Prix? Please... I just want you to be safe...." Her voice trails off at the end as if she is crying.
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"You still want to compete?" Asks Brian.
"Yes. I think it is a good chance to know my program more before the Grand Prix."
Brian looks at me with his lips falling downwards. "Well..... We will have to see what the doctor say."
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I walk in the room with Brian, he insisted to come to know all my terrible symptoms, and I see Doctor sitting on his chair smiling at me mildly as usual. His black hair find places in his gray hair and his glasses lies on his nose.
"Good afternoon, Hanyu." He says.
"Good afternoon Doctor."
"Please take a seat" Doctor's hand instructs me to sit.
"So how do you feel after last week's meeting?" He asks. I like how Doctor works. He is always straight to the point and great with advices.
"The pain is still there. I can jump but my back stings after I landed it." I explain.
Doctor motions to tells me to turn around. I do what he asks. He tries to touch my back and figure out my problem.
"Hmm... Of course it stings." He says. "The situation is not very positive." He finds a spot and press into my back hardly and I can not keep my silence from the pain.
"Argh!" I yelled out in Japanese. "This hurts. A lot!"
I hold my hand on my back and turns back to the Doctor after his hands left me.
"Well, Hanyu, Mr. Orser, I understand figure skating is very physical sport and a very dangerous one as well. I also know that it is common for skaters to skate with injuries. However, I, as a professional doctor, do not recommend Hanyu to skate in the upcoming competition." I look at Doctor with all my nerves spiking up. "He is still very young and he will definitely try many new things that nobody has tried before. For that, I think it's better to maintain good health." He ends his comment by taking off his glasses.
I bite my lips before talking. They hurt from me thinking too much.
"Doctor, may I ask something?" I look at him.
"Of course. Go ahead." Doctor replies.
"I asked a friend of mine about my injury on the back and she said that she only thinks about my health. She sounded as if it is a huge matter. Is this that kind of situation?" I asks Doctor. I can feel Brian's eyesight is on me and I try not to think too much about his reaction after knowing that I consulted Meg.
"Well, she's right to persuade you not to compete. She must have a certain level of medical knowledge. I have to say that if you compete this time and overwork your back, it might get inflammatory and at that time, it will be a huge matter. That friend of yours really cares about you. You should listen to her." Doctor answers my question with a smirk on his face. I have no idea why should he be sming like that at me.
"Thank you Doctor." Brian says suddenly. "Your advices are really helpful and I will negotiate with Yuzuru again. Thank you very much again."
"Your welcome Mr. Orser. I wish Hanyu all the best health as well." He puts his glasses back on his nose.
"Thank you Doctor." I say. And Doctor smiles at me benevolently.
Brian and I left the room.

On the way back to the rink, Brian drives and I sit silently on the back seat of the car.
"I didn't know that you asked Meg for advice." Brian peeks at me through the mirror.
"Oh..." I feel like a teenager being know that he likes a girl. "She asked how I feel so I tell her my situation."
"I see her all the time outside the club waiting for you. I don't really like people who disturb the skaters, but I like her a lot. She's determined and calm. And I assume that she loves you with all her heart."
"Yes she does." I answer shyly.
"Oh!" Brian's eyebrows jump from surprise. "Are you guys together yet?"
"No." I answer.
"Why? I thought you like her." Brian asks.
"I don't know. I never asked her before and she never did as well."
"Well, I know that love can be a problem. But look at Javi. He's in love and he's happy. He trains harder for his love. It can be a positive effect." Brian says with his eyes staring at the traffic.
"Our relationship is very strange, Brian. I keep touch with her and share our thoughts with each other, I help her when she needs help, she helps me when I need help, and I like her. She's always calm, gentle, heartwarming, considerate, adorable, and being critical. She will give me good advices and she will comfort me. She will tell me how much she loves me. Brian, Meg is a great girl but she's just 15! How can I date a girl who is this young? This doesn't make sense."
"Yuzu, you're in love. But you have to think about Meg. You keep her from hoping. At first, she might still hoping that one day you will date her. But, after a while, hope will disappear. If you love her, tell her. But tell her that your relationship have to be confidential. I know that she is the right person, Yuzu. I've checked in June. She is a very good girl." Brian smiles.
"Thanks, Brian."
"Your welcome."
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Sorry everyone!! I haven't been updating frequently. I went to Japan last week and I feel a lot of more feelings of Megumi in Japan so I'll keep writing! Hope you enjoy the perspective of Yuzu!!!! There's more conversation of Yuzu with Brian in this chapter. Do you like it? If you do, please let me know!!! Comment and be awesome!!!
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