𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐍, 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑, e. munson✔︎

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚: 𝗔𝗟𝗖𝗢𝗛𝗢𝗟 𝗨𝗦𝗘

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝟏𝟒𝐭𝐡, 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟔. 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝟖 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭...

I walk over to my closet, grabbing my guitar case and setting it on my bed. I take my guitar out, laying it down as I move the case back in my closet. I pick the guitar up and sit on my bed. I begin to play the solo Eddie taught me. I nod my head and tap my foot as I slowly run through the solo at my pace. I watch my fingers as I slowly place them over the strings and played the chords.

When I mess up, I stop, go back and replay the part and do it right. I growl and lean over to my nightstand, grabbing my Walkman and headphones. I slip them on, only having one ear to hang out to listen to my playing as the other listened to the music. I begin to play the tape, tapping my foot along with the tempo of the music. I would play along with his singing, humming too as I kept bobbing my head. I'd mess up a bit here and there, which caused me to grow a bit frustrated. I groaned and stopped the music, rewinding it then pressed play and tried again. I made sure to listen and to play correctly this time.

I kept playing until it came to the solo and thats when I stopped playing and listened to the music and the way it sounded. I don't think I'm good enough. I don't think I can do it. Why doesn't Eddie play it? He plays it way better than me. I could never be as good as he is.

I groan once more, pausing the music, rewinding then hit play. I place my fingers where they need to be and once the solo comes up, I attempt to play at the same tempo with the solo. I bite my lip, earnest and eager to play this correctly. I need to. If we're performing together tonight, I need to be perfect. Not just for everyone but for him. I want to impress him plus he expects me to play this so I will. For him.

When I mess up, I stop the tape and would rewind it, playing it again. I begin to fall down the hole of nervousness, messing up constantly. I move my guitar off my lap, setting it on my bed as I push my headphones off and get up from my bed, growling as I rubbed my eyes and walked over to my restroom as I was annoyed. I can't do it. I suck.

I stand in front of the mirror, running my fingers through my hair before picking my head up to look at myself in the mirror. I open the medicine cabinet up and stare at the tweezers. I swallow hard.

"No..." I close it then look down at the sink. I pick my head up to look at myself in the mirror again.

"Fuck..." I open the cabinet again, snatch the tweezers out then shut it. I look at the tweezers in my hand, running my thumb against the sharp edge.

I stand there, looking at it as I hear the front door open then close. I listen to their steps come over to the restroom and came in. It was just Eddie. He comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me as one of his hands take the tweezers out of mine and puts it away as his other hand is placed on my waist, holding my hip. I bring a hand up, rubbing my eyes before covering them. He turns me around then pulls my hand away from my face. I look up at him and he cups my face with both hands. He kisses my forehead and I close my eyes. He kisses my eye lids then moves down to kiss my nose. I bring my hands up to place them over his. I open my eyes and look up at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I shake my head as I try to turn my head away but he wouldn't let me.

"Ronnie..." I sigh.

"I suck."

"You don't suck, Ronnie."

"Im not good enough. And if I'm not good enough then I can't play this solo for you." I complained.