Need - Jude Bellingham

seventeen

I woke up, my legs intwined with Jude's as he held me close. I kept my head on his chest, not ready to get up yet and just thinking about everything.

I liked him. A lot. But why were relationships so scary? Why does the thought of one make my stomach hurt? Why am I so afraid of fucking it up and doing something wrong?

It felt like everything had happened so fast. I moved in here about three weeks ago, that's it. That's not exactly a long time, were we really ready for a relationship in the first place?

There was a knock at the door, making me wipe my eyes and blink a couple times to wake up before telling them to come in. I was met with Jadon's head poking through the little gap he had made as he opened the door.
"Is it alright if I come in?"

I laughed lightly, mumbling a yes and watched as he sat on my desk, looking as if he were debating to say something or not.
"Are you alright?" he finally spoke, making me raise my eyebrows in surprise.
"I'm as good as I'll be at eight in the morning mate, why?"

He smiled, shaking his head, "No like actually. I know you're awkward and that but to be honest, same. It's just- Your dad said something about," he sighed, "Forget it. See you in a bit."

"No, no, you can talk to me. I kinda just zoned out when he was shouting stuff so I don't remember half the stuff he said anyway. Remind me."
He sat back down, taking in a breath, "You were being sarcastic saying something about them trying to make you feel grateful over the fact they fed you and didn't let you die and your dad said you tried to take it in to your own hands but your mum interrupted him and I couldn't get the full jist of what he meant. He didn't mean...?"

I moved to sit up against the headboard, Jude's hands still wrapped lazily around my waist.
"Yeah. It was a long time ago though."
"Shit."
I bit my lip, awkwardly nodding.
"You wouldn't try to now though, yeah?" He looked at me sincerely, causing me to shake my head so he wouldn't worry.
"What? Of course not."
He nodded, "Alright, that's good. Just let me know if you ever need anything yeah?"

Jude started to stir next to me, yawning and stretching before opening his eyes to see Jadon in our room again.
He groaned, "Bruv I told you already, you're not allowed here until after trainings. It's weird and-"

"It's fine, I let him. We needed to talk quick, it's nothing," I explained, placing my hand on top of his.
"Yeah mate I was just leaving. You guys... have fun," he smirked, causing me to chuck a pillow at him as he dodged it and left the room laughing.

Jude wrapped his arms around me again, moving so he was laying in between my legs, his head high on my stomach.
"He's such a dickhead," he complained, making me laugh as I messed with his hair.
"He can be alright though. I didn't know he knew how to be serious," I laughed as he looked up at me, chin on my chest.
"He was good to you yesterday yeah? He had your back and that?"

I nodded, "Yeah. He came in now just to check on me as well, he's sweet sometimes."
"Yeah, chill with that," he rolled his eyes, smiling as I copied him, pushing him away from me.
"I didn't mean it like that. No need to be jealous," I pinched his cheek as he rolled his eyes again, pulling a face and trying not to laugh.
"Shut up."

We focused on trying to get comfy again when he spoke up, "You're coming to the game next week yeah?"
I nodded as I laughed, "Of course I am?"
"Good," he let out a sigh of relief, causing me to laugh harder.
"Are you nervous?"
"Are you joking? I'm literally shitting myself," he said bluntly, making me stifle a laugh so I could try be supportive.

"You'll do great, I'm sure."
He shrugged, "I might not even play so it all depends I guess."
"Shut up, you're gonna play at some point even if you're not starting. You might be what we need to turn a game around. Being a sub is easier because you look better as everyone else is knackered," I winked, making him laugh.