Bad Dreams | Newt x Reader

Chapter 46-A Promise I Can't Keep

Warnings: nightmares, arguing, mentions of murder, lying via omission, Newt being sad, kidding, mentions of death, threats

Y/n POV

I cradled her in my arms. “It’s okay,” she whispered as a tear slid down her face.
“I’m supposed to be comforting you,” I sobbed openly, no longer trying to hide my emotions from her. I didn’t want her to be scared. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
I jolted awake, I lay there for a moment curled up in Newt’s arms while I shook off the last of the nightmare. The sun had started to rise, allowing light to pour over the land.
Where did Aaliyah go?
I raised my head and saw her playing with Archie. It was good they were friends.
Slowly, as to not wake him, I detangled myself from Newt and sat up. He grumbled and tried to grab me but I moved out of his reach. I stood up and stretched, noting I couldn't feel any pain.
I then noticed that Alex had an arm flung over Nikolai, keeping them close together. Definitely something to tease Nikolai about later. I smirked and wandered over. Unfortunately, I had nudged my brother awake with my boot. He swatted at my leg clumsily before he froze, feeling Alex’s arm over him. His eyes flew open in shock. He stared for a few seconds before carefully lifting it off himself. He climbed to his feet and dusted himself off, looking as red as a tomato. I raised an eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes.
“What do you want? It’s early,” he complained quietly.
I led him away from the people. Enough that we wouldn’t be overheard without either of us knowing.
“We need a plan for you know what,” I said.
He nodded and frowned while I thought.
“I want you to promise to kill me if it does happen,” I said suddenly.
“No!” Nikolai protested loudly and I shushed him. He looked around quickly before he lowered his voice, “No.”
“If she takes control, she might hurt someone here or worse,” I whispered to him.
He gripped my shoulders and looked me dead in the eye, “We’re going to find a way to fix it, I promise.
He sounded like he believed it, his gaze not wavering for a second.
I shook my head sadly, getting choked up, “You know there’s no way to save someone like me.”
“We will find a way,” he said firmly.
I stayed silent for a moment, “Promise me,” I wasn’t talking about finding a cure for me, Nikolai knew that.
“No!” Nikolai snapped and ripped his hand off me.
He stalked away from me and towards Alex, who had just woken up. My other friends were waking up too, as well as the rest of the camp, unable to sleep anymore because of the sunlight.
“Nikolai!” I whisper-yelled after him and quickly followed him. I caught his arm just before he could get back to Alex. “You know what will happen! Promise me.”
“No!” Nikolai shook my arm off.
“Nikolai, please,” I begged him, trying and failing to grab his arm again.
“No! You can’t ask me to do this. This isn’t fair!” Nikolai snapped and hurried away.
I didn’t follow him this time. I sighed and tensed as I remembered Alex, Newt and the others were there. Vince had also come over to see what was wrong.
“What was that about?” Vince asked, watching my brother storm off.
“Nothing, just minor sibling disagreements,” I said and he nodded and walked off. I looked at Alex and after my brother. “You should go find him, tell him I’m sorry too.”
Alex nodded and went after my brother.
“What was that really about? What did you ask him?” Newt asked me, appearing at my side.
“Nothing too important,” I replied and gave him a fake smile. Newt, of course, saw right through it. He looked hurt.
“Why do you keep lying to me?” he asked quietly. It broke my heart to hear his sad tone. “You’ve barely spoken to me since you got back, then you go off with Alex and have a long conversation. You won’t tell me anything and you left parts out of your explanation. Why does Alex get to know but I don’t?”
“Newt…” I reached for his hand but he moved it back. I noticed a lot of people watching us. I held out my hand to Newt, “Let’s talk somewhere else.”
Newt looked at it but gave in. I led him away from the crowd and behind one of the large rocks on the side of the camp for privacy. I let go of his hand and paced slowly, debating what to tell him.
“First of all,” I stopped and turned to him, “Alex is one of my best friends and I haven’t seen him in years. He is nothing and has been nothing more than my best friend. Okay?” I asked and looked him dead in the eye. Newt watched me carefully for a moment then nodded. “Besides, I’m like ninety-nine percent sure he’s gay. Him and my brother, I feel like there’s something going on there. They were cuddling last night, which, yeah, can be a platonic thing, but my brother blushed when he got up this morning. He blushed. He never does, and yet he did,” I rambled on slightly.
“Y/n,” Newt interrupted and I gave him a sheepish smile. “Why are you nervous?”
“Nervous? Why would I be nervous?” I laughed nervously.
“You ramble when you’re nervous,” Newt said.
Nervous that I’ll slip and spill a secret that’ll make you hate me.
I sighed, “I didn’t talk to you much because I was scared you would hate me,” I said carefully. It wasn’t fully true but it worked to distract Newt.
“Why would I hate you?” he asked and took a step forward towards me.
There were many, many reasons. I picked a random one.
“Because I broke my promise to you that I wouldn’t leave you. I made the choice to cut the rope between the buildings,” I explained. “And you know, the lying.”
“I don’t hate you, I never could,” Newt said softly. “But I want to know why you keep lying to me.”
“To keep you and the others safe. A lot of people would kill to find out what I know about the Wraith,” I explained.
Newt sighed, rubbing his arm, “What about the other lies?”
“Which ones?” I asked and then winced, having admitted it.
“When did you remember you were Enhanced?” he asked.
I frowned, I hadn’t expected him to ask about that. “I started guessing when that storm appeared after I had a bad dream.”
“What were you and Nikolai arguing about earlier?” he asked me.
I tried to think of a way I could say something that wasn’t a lie but kept him safe, “I want him to promise me something but he won’t do it,” I explained vaguely.
“Promise you what?”
I stumbled over my words until I formed a decent answer, “It’s just in the worst case scenario if something happens to me,” I tried to explain.
“What are you talking about? What’s going to happen to you?” Newt demanded.
“Nothing yet, maybe ever, but still I need him to promise me it. I’m sorry, Newt, but I can’t tell you anymore without putting you and everyone else in danger more than they already are.”
Newt looked hurt but didn’t say anything.
I sighed, using the last resort, “Alex doesn’t even know.”
Newt’s eyes snapped to me again. “I thought you told him everything?”
I shrugged. I wished I could talk to Alex about it, he always gave good advice and good hugs, “We had to leave stuff out, don’t tell him that.”
“What happened to your sister?” Newt asked, catching me off guard.
“What?” I said after a second.
“You lied in the explanation when you were talking about what happened to your little sister,” Newt said slowly. Fear flicked through me but I shoved it down.
I tried to hold his gaze but I couldn't, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You did lie, and you just lied again to me,” Newt sighed sadly. “You lied that day around the campfire too. You knew by then what happened to her.”
“Yeah. I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I said and tried to think of another subject.
Newt hesitated before asking another question, “Does anyone know that secret?”
My throat tightened and I looked away. “No,” I admitted softly.
“Nikolai?”
I shook my head, looking back at my boyfriend. Newt looked surprised.
“I thought he knew everything?”
“I couldn’t tell him then and I can’t tell him now,” I said softly. Tears welled up in my eyes but I blinked them away. “What does it matter anyway? She’s gone and she’s not coming back.”
Newt moved forward and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I buried my face into his chest to muffle the sobs. After a moment, Newt released his hold slightly and moved back to look in my face.
“Promise me something, promise me no more lies,” he stared into my eyes. I bit my lip and thought it over.
“Only if you promise you won’t leave me, no matter what you find out. You have to know I’m not her,” I begged him, Newt just looked confused but nodded.
The Wraith’s amusement at this drifted in my mind like fog over a field. Distant and faint but still very present. A reminder that with every day, she grew in strength.
“I promise I won’t leave you,” Newt whispered and brushed tears from my face.
“And I promise I won’t lie to you again,” I lied and Newt pulled me back into a hug. Maybe I could find ways to lie without lying. Guilt flooded through me at the thought of doing this to Newt. It was better than the alternative. The promise didn’t matter, he would leave me once he found out I’m Corrupt and the Wraith.
“You know, Aaliyah reminds me of her,” I confessed after a moment.
“Of Lillian?” Newt asked.
“Yeah,” I replied with a sob. I missed her so much that it sometimes felt like it was crushing me to death. I let out a ragged breath and tried to slow my breathing down. Newt traced shaped down my back and whispered, reassuring things in my ear, I relaxed into his arms and he kissed me on the forehead. I lifted my head off his chest to look up at him. He met my gaze for a second before his face flicked to my lips. I smirked and pulled him down for a kiss. The familiar feeling let me relax further. After a moment, he broke it and looked back into my eyes. His honey brown eyes were as familiar to me as my own name.
“I missed you so much,” he leaned in and kissed me again. I moved back to lean against the rock. He followed me and ran his hands through my hair. I smiled into the kiss and reached my hands up to cup his face.
“Y/n?” Nikolai called. Newt broke the kiss immediately and started trying to fix my hair. I laughed quietly and helped him.
“I missed you too, my darling,” I whispered.
I turned to look as Nikolai came around the corner and found us. Nikolai noticed my red eyes and frowned, “What’s wrong?” he demanded, hurrying over and shooting a suspicious look at Newt.
“We're just talking about how Aaliyah reminds me of Lillian,” I answered, slightly honestly. Nikolai's face displayed a strange expression for a moment, almost pitying, but it was gone in a second.
“She does remind me to. Come on, you two. Breakfast and then we have to go,” Nikolai guided me out from behind the rock and I weaved a quick illusion to make it look like I hadn’t been crying.
“Why’d you do that?” Newt asked quietly.
“I need to appear strong, or they won’t listen to me when I say things,” I explained quietly to Newt.
Nikolai stopped suddenly and I paused and looked at him. He sighed. “Alex talked to me. Of course he doesn’t know what’s going on and I’m not going to tell him but it did help. I’m sorry for getting angry at you.”
“It’s okay, I would be angry too if I was in your situation,” I hugged him.
“Then you know that I can’t promise you,” Nikolai murmured and I nodded.
“I know,” I replied softly and released him from the hug. Newt frowned at me but I grabbed his hand and dragged him with me to get food.

Breakfast was warm soup, which I ate slowly to try and satisfy my hunger. Vince talked to Alex in a low, worried voice. Nikolai and Newt sat either side of me.
“What are they talking about?” I asked Nikolai.
“The Right Arm is running out of food,” Nikolai explained, idly stirring his soup with a spoon.
“Can’t we just rob Wicked?” I asked him.
Nikolai shook his head, “They’re worried about the Phoenix and the Wolf. We’re not exactly very popular with them right now. They’re probably going to find a way to retaliate.”
“I bet the Phoenix is exhausted. She wants revenge. She must have spent the past week or so teleporting everywhere looking for Livia and us.”
“Probably,” Nikolai said and caught Alex’s eye across the camp. He smiled at him and Alex returned it before looking away. My brother sighed and turned back to his food. I smirked knowingly at him. He looked up and frowned. “What?”
“Nothing,” I said innocently and flicked my gaze between him and Alex. Nikolai realised and hit my arm. “Ow!” I complained, rubbing it. “You’re so mean! I wasn’t doing anything!”
“What’s going on?” Alex asked and I looked up to see him right next to us.
Nikolai jumped, nearly spilling his soup, “What? Nothing.”
Alex raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he sat down in front of us. I looked at Newt.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” I snickered, nudging him.
Newt hid a smile, “I can’t.”
“Exactly,” I said smugly.
“What are you talking about?” Alex asked, looking between us.
“Nothing,” I replied innocently.
“We were just talking about how the Right Arm is running out of food,” said Nikolai, smoothly changing the subject.
Alex’s expression turned grim, “Yeah.”
“I think we should rob Wicked,” I repeated my earlier idea.
“It’s too risky,” Alex replied.
“You have me now, I can do illusions. We can be in and out before Wicked even knows we’re there,” I argued.
“Or, we can die in a fiery death,” countered Vince, who’d overheard part of the conversation.
“Or we get enough food and water to last a while,” I argued back.
“It’s not worth the risk. Besides, last time you fought the Phoenix, you nearly died,” Vince reminded me. “You’re not strong enough to kill her.”
“Yet,” I said softly. Nikolai’s head spun to look at me.
“Absolutely not. That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard!” Nikolai snapped, mad for even suggesting it.
“What?” Vince asked, looking between us as we stared each other down.
“I can steal power from weaker Enhanced and slowly work my way up to matching her power,” I replied.
“No!” Nikolai argued, “You’re not doing that!”
“I agree with Nikolai on this,” Alex interrupted. Nikolai shot him a grateful look.
“We’re desperate for food. It’s one of the only ways to get a lot of food fast,” I argued back. I could tell I was starting to convince Vince. He was no longer immediately shutting it down.
“You’re not actually considering this?” Nikolai demanded, incredulous.
Vince sighed tiredly and glanced around at the people in the Right Arm.
“We’re running very low on food and water,” Vince said. “We won’t last much longer out here. Where’s the nearest Wicked compound?”
“A couple days walk, at least,” I guessed, trying to picture a map in my head.
“No!” Nikolai snapped, “What happens if…” he gave me a look.
“I can handle it. Besides, I have you to help. I’ll be fine,” I promised him.
Nikolai fumed at my answer. “You can’t rely on me like that. What if I’m not able to get to you in time? It’s not worth it. If something happens, they’ll know. Everyone will know.”
“It is worth it and it’s not going to happen.”
“Right, you lost me. What are we talking about?” Newt asked, looking between us.
“Nevermind,” I told him. He just frowned at me.
“It’s settled then, we’re gonna rob Wicked,” Vince announced. I smiled triumphantly at my brother. He rolled his eyes and walked off.
I would apologise later.

“Y/n,” Ember came up to me. I looked at her. “Can we talk?”
“Sure,” I said after a moment and got up.
I followed her as she led us away and then spun around, rage displayed clearly on her face. What she said next just confused me.
“Stay away from Newt,” she snapped at me.
“Sorry what? He’s my boyfriend?”
“You’re dangerous and you’ll get him hurt or killed. Step aside and let me be with him. He likes me back, I can tell,” Ember moved closer to me, probably in an attempt to be intimidating.
It was rather pathetic.
“No he doesn’t,” I rolled my eyes at her, “He loves me, you stay away from him and if you ask me that again, you’ll find out just how dangerous I can be.”
I turned and left her there. I refused to acknowledge it, but I could feel her words tunnelling into my heart. He couldn’t like her. Could he?

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