93 DAYS...or longer?

18.

She was quiet for way too long now and I am starting not to like it. I let go of her hand and use my hand to caress her cheek, trying to get her back to reality as I could notice that she was in her own thoughts, dark thoughts, since her whole face expression change to hurt and scared.

"Mack..?" I quietly try to get her back to snap out of her thoughts and she does, then looks up with me with tears in her eyes "Kasper.. to me you can only be Mr. Amos from now on." and this is when I learned that words can pierce harder than sword. I give her a confused look, but she just shrugs and takes a step back, letting my hand fall down from her cheek. I look at her eyes in disbelief of what I'm hearing since I could swore that we shared the same feelings. She takes a few steps back and walks away from me quickly. I guess she found out who I was.

"Did you fucking tell her?!" I shout through my teeth while holding the collar of his shirt as he is pressed against the wall "Dude what the fuck?!" Theo whines in pain as his back hit the wall, but anger takes over me. I feel Stella's hands trying to pull me back, but I don't let go "She fucking told me I'm Mr.Amos to her, after I fucking spilt my feelings for her!" I yell at Theo's face, not because it was his fault, but because there was no other way known to me to handle my feelings, especially feelings as strong as these.

"Do you think she is dumb? As soon as she stepped her foot here, she knew you weren't some poor boy, plus the way you dress, walk and talk already told her you weren't one of the ordinary people" Stella hisses at me, pushing me away from Theo as I stumble back and her words start to make sense. I guess I should've made it clear who I was from the beginning, but I didn't want her to fall for me because of my money, I wanted her to fall for me because of me. And she did. And I ruined it because I wanted to keep it a secret from her, my identity a secret.

"Sorry man... I'm just... confused" I manage to say as I stand there in disbelief in what I've turned to in a second because of anger. Theo gives me a hug and pats my back "You owe me that strawberry cup tomorrow, I heard Mack makes it the best" He teases me but all I could do is cry because what if there is no tomorrow? What if this is the last time I see her? What if this is the end of our beginning?

"Pull yourself together and give her some time.. Take a walk around this huge property, clear your head and solution will find you." Stella rubs my back and I nod my head, thanking them for all the advices as I walk away. 

I walk around our yard, going to the backyard as there was no people there. I needed some alone time to think about everything and faces of people who I barely knew were the last thing I needed. 

My phone buzzes and it's a message from Kayla. I don't even bother reading it, instead I block her number and block all the girls from my contacts as there was no point in keeping those numbers and memories of my dark past. Especially not if I wanted to win Mackenna. She deserves the best version of me.

As I walk around the house, I notice that the balcony that overlooked the sea and the beach was empty so I decide to go there and lean on the concrete balcony rail, looking at the calm sea and moon above it. 

"God... what do I have to do for her to put her walls down for me? What haven't I tried, what haven't I said?" I whisper to myself, once again, talking to the sky. At that moment, my phone rings. I look at the screen and it's my dad "Hey buddy" I hear on the other side of the phone "Hey dad" I reply trying my best to sound okay "What's wrong? The party is a poop without me, huh?" 

Of course he could feel that I felt like shit, and he knew exactly why. He always did. But he always knew how to make me chuckle and that witty comment helped. 

"No, party is fine, I'm just tired already" I lie, not even knowing why but I just couldn't handle any more pressure nor did I have strength to talk about my feelings, but he didn't give up on me "Buddy, you are a man now, not a boy. So whatever is that's bothering you, there is a solution, but you have to think like a man, not like a boy." His words didn't make sense for a few moments but soon, it opened my mind. 

I look over and notice the bush of roses so I risk getting cut on the thorns to get the most beautiful ones I could. I had a pocket knife with me so I cut the ones I found the most pretty and cut off all the thorns so she wouldn't hurt her hands, like I did, but I ignored it. I call Stella to help me find where Mackenna is and to my luck she already knew the answer as Mackenna was next to them, begging for them to go home "Wait Mack, come to me to the bathroom and then we will leave" I hear Stella say so I smirk and reply "Balcony of the backyard." and hang up the phone. 

I notice them walking towards the balcony and Mack whines "This is not where you will pee, there is only bush of roses, well... what used to be roses anyway. You'd think that being this rich they'd have at least pretty flowers"  I try not to laugh at her comment as I approach them so I reply to her "So you do agree that these are pretty, huh?" 

She turns around to the sound of my voice and looks at me in disbelief "We were looking for a ba-" Stella cuts her off "On the second thought, I'm fine, I'll go back to Theo!" and with that she walks away quickly, before Mackenna could even begin to curse her out for bringing her here, to me.

"Don't say anything, just listen" I begin as I approach her, making her take a step back so her back is pressed against the balcony railing "all of what I said back there was true, except that it's not all. I admit, I did have a questionable past, but you can't even judge me for it because I was lost, I didn't know what a true attraction and true love means, all of them meant nothing more than a game when I'm bored. And I'm not saying that behavior is okay, it's far from okay. You must feel disgusted by those facts, but it's part of my past and I can't change it. If I could I would, but that would mean I'd never get to meet you and fall for you. If I could, I'd choose to meet you as my first ever and not see anyone else after. Even though I can't change the past, I can change the present moment. I can change the future. And I can't see it without you in it. I don't want to. Because I want you to be a part of it. So please, let me be a man, let me be romantic and gentle.. for you?" I don't take my eyes off hers as I speak, my hand tightening around the flowers in my hand from how nervous I am to be saying all of these things so openly. 

"So you think this is true love?" She asks me, raising her eyebrows with a straight, poker face "I don't know what true love is, I've never even been in love.. But I know that this isn't just a crush. If you don't think true love exists, then you are the definition of love. You are definition of a woman I've always dreamed about being with, you are kind, hard working, smart, polite, genuine, you like to help, you heal people with just your smile, you put family first and would do anything for you loved ones and I admire that." I watch her expression soften as a smile appears on her lips "All I'm asking is for you to give me a chance to prove to you that I am worthy your love, that I won't hurt you and that you can be safe and careless around me, you don't have to fear, you can be fearless and calm. I'll be your safe place." 

With those few words turning into a whisper almost, I lean down closer to her face, my eyes glancing from her eyes to her lips, before my hand cups her cheek and I whisper against her lips "May I kiss you?" I could feel her head nod lightly, since she literally froze in front of me, so I decide to take it slow and close my eyes, pressing my lips onto hers, my lips sinking into her soft, plump, heart shaped lips, tasting her strawberry gloss, which made me drop the flowers onto the railing and use my arm to pull her closer by her waist as my tongue slides along her bottom lip, asking her to allow me to enter.

My tongue slowly slides in her mouth, tasting what I've been dying for, all my cravings suddenly go missing as I finally feel complete. Having her in my arms, under the moonlight, in the darkness of the night on the balcony, while our tongues dance and explore each others mouths. Her hands find their way in my hair, I could feel her slowly brushing them through my hair, pulling on my ends a bit, which made me grab her waist with my both hands to pull her closer as we both deepen the kiss. 

The passion I've had buried inside of me all of these years, finally find its way out of my heart and into hers.