44: Bound in Blood

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"Good evening this is the BBC, I'm Nicole Griffiths, and our top story tonight: a shocking development on Russia's attack by Missiles from Urzikstan. The Russian FSS has accused an American-British task force 141 to be involved." I felt my blood run cold, my heart began to flare like drums of war, and my face flushed with fear.

"Damn!" Laswell said as a small clip of us walking.

"They specifically accused, Y/N L/N, or Y/N Gibson, Daughter of American Navy General Kevin Gibson and Senator M/N L/N. They believe she's working with her father and mother against Russia. The Russian ambassador, Anatolii Kovalev asked for her to be put on trial. The White House has not given a statement." I look over to Charlie only to find the entire room staring at me.

"Currently her whereabouts are unknown, but they have put a 25-million-dollar, bounty on her head."

"Fuck!" I look over to see Soap sneering in anger.

The TV is turned off.

Pine.

The fading fragrance of winter pine, white Jasmine stuck, and a natural musk I can never describe, brown jade arms wrapped around me. I didn't need to look to know who. Charlie always ran on the warmer side, like sitting on the open-roof bus being driven around Florence, Italy. His hair grew out fast, he had subtle mullet, the cute kinda. His hair tickled the side of my face.

"You, ok?" Charlie asked quietly, but it sounded more like a plea. He let go and turned me around. He looked devastated. He pulls me into a hug rocking me back in forth.

Soap and Gaz had this vacant stare. Roach stared at me. Price looked really pissed and so did Laswell. From the eyes of the two masked men, König stared strangely at me while Ghost looked only dejected.

"Y/N," I look over to Laswell, "I'll figure this out." She states like a comforting wine aunty.

"Yeah, we're here for you," I look over still to my absolute horror Ghost said that... Why is he caring?

"We'll protect you," Price said to which the other nodded.

I kept my face still, their care felt fake. Honestly, I looked at all of them and saw liars. There is no man besides Charlie that I truly care for... I doubt even Diego cares, he probably feels obligated to me.

One day he'll leave. Back to his friends, his family. I'm simply a person for a specific time, and once that time passes, he and I will part.

I sighed and looked away, it felt performative fake. I know deep down nobody cares; they're speaking up only because they are also in the spotlight. Nobody cares this much for one person...

Don't get attracted they're only going to walk away from you. They're not your friends, you're not their friends. You're a guest, act grateful.

I kept my mouth shut but nodded along. Lies lies lies. They're all liars, that is one thing I'm confident about. Nobody can change their feeling about someone so quickly, it's all performative. My eyes glazed over as I looked at everyone, they acted as they were expected to.

I hate allistic people... Why can't my mind follow the masses?

Laswell and Price left, they needed to talk to some officers. As the Leader and the coriander, it was their duty. They left the room in a painful silence an air of ferocity.

I should kill myself.

Charlie went back to hugging me... I didn't want to be rude, but I didn't want to be touched. I feel trapped in his arms. As much as I love him, I wonder if he cares the same for me. Is this obligation for what happened to me when I was 17? 17... 4 years ago. The day he forgives himself is the day our friendship ends, it is guilt that binds him to me, that I know.

Don't touch me...

Don't touch me...

Don't touch me...

"Let go," I whisper, he reluctantly let go.

"I didn't know you were the daughter of powerful people," König said.

"I don't talk about it because I fucking hate them," I said stepping away from Charlie.

"Flaca, you tried to kill your father—"

"And I should have, one less scumbag in the world," I grumbled I couldn't hide this anger anymore. An endless pit... will this pit finally have a bottom and I have no more room to hold the water of hate in my heart?

I should have...

I should have...

I should have...

"You really hate him," Soap voice I turn to him with tired eyes.

"Yeah, I do."

"Do you hate your mother?" Gaz asks.

"She's stupid and a bitch, anything else?" I told my arms. My eyelids felt like a hundred-pound dumbbells pulling my lids shut. I closed my eyes for a long second, before opening them. Everyone is looking at me.

"You're full of hate," Ghost spoke up.

"No shit," I roll my eyes, "I am nothing but anger and hate," I walk out of the room.

It's suffocating in there.

I feel like shit.

I want to die.

Chimp always comes back.

"Hey, you, ok?" I look over to see Charlie standing behind me.

"Leave me alone."

ᔕᔕᔕ≼∴≽ᔕᔕᔕ

"Damn," Soap said peering out of the door, "Never thought she push you away."

"Honestly every year same time of year she pushes me away," Charlie sighs, "Then like a month later she comes around."

"Sounds toxic," Gaz voices.

"Honestly I think she's still grieving for her real brother; I think she feels really lonely."

"Charlie was his name, right?" Ghost asks.

"Yup." Everyone looked at him in shock, "I think she never truly let him go."

"That's messed up."

"I think it's sweet," Diego smiles, "Charlie was my best friend before he died."

"Wasn't it awkward?" Gaz asks.

"Yeah, but she really looked like she needed her brother at the time, and I was just happy to have a fragment of Charlie back." Diego smiles sadly watching the figure of Gisele walk away.

"Sometimes I wonder if Charlie was still alive, we would ever be friends."

"Imagine if you two ended up dating?" Soap tease.

"Oh God, Charlie would have killed me," Diego looks back before laughing.

"Do you think this is hurting her?" König asks.

"Honestly I have an idea, she looks very calm."

"She looks like she's on death's door," Soap mused.

"She seems so... cruel," Gaz notes.

"You're not the only one who noticed," Ghost spoke up.

"As Gisele likes to say, recovery isn't linear and you'll backslide back into worse behavior," Diego spoke up.

"Indeed," Ghost notes.


A/N: Not me crying to my own chapter....

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